Early June

Your name is JUNE EGBERT, and you know your timeline is wrong.

Or at least you think it is. You’re well aware that you’re out of Sburb, and that there is no true “alpha timeline.” Nonetheless, you’ve had the feeling for a while that your timeline has gone down a dark path.

Largely because many of your friends are now dead. After Dirk became his Ultimate Self and tried to redirect canon in an attempt to save your timeline from irrelevance, he ultimately doomed it. The only others left alive were Roxy, Jake, Terezi, and Rose, in robot form. You all sit around the kitchen table of your spaceship, finalizing the last plan any of you will make.

JUNE: so.
ROSE: It’s okay June. You can say it.
ROXY: yeah binch like
ROXY: its like waaaay past time for a retcon
ROXY: so like fire it up girl what are you waitin for
TEREZI: SH3’S W41T1NG FOR US TO COM3 W1TH 4 PL4N B3C4US3 SH3’S 4 W33N13 WHO C4N’T TH1NK FOR H3RS3LF
JUNE: hey terezi? not the time.
TEREZI: >:[
TEREZI: F111111N3
JUNE: but we do need a plan.
TEREZI: S1MPL3: W3 R3TCON YOU B4CK TO B3FOR3 WORS3 STR1DER GOT 4LL M3GALOM4N1ACAL
TEREZI: 4ND TH3N YOU K1LL H1M
JAKE: Hold on one goddamned moment! Sure in the later years of his life dirk turned out to be quite the uncouth rogue.
JAKE: But surely there must be a better way than just killing the man! Why with junes powers we could send her back with a message to dirk not to mess with things! Im sure she could make him see reason!
ROXY: yea im all on the “lets not kil dirk train”
ROXY: but jake, dirks reaaaaalll stubborn
ROXY: and that could just be like
ROXY: givin him a heads up on his first mark, yk?
ROXY: like
ROXY: “hey this is June guess what I’m a gril now, also don’t be a canon-hoggin binch or were gonna have to do sometin DRASTIC”
ROXY: he’d have his katana out in like two secs tops and start slashin up this place like it’s sord art online
ROSE: Roxy is right. References to Dave’s failed MMO project nonwithstanding, I think this may need to be a deeper retcon. We need to consider what went wrong with our timeline before we can fix it.
JUNE: ...
JUNE: i think i might have an idea.

All eyes turn to you. Your plan has been forming in your mind for a while now, and it’s hard to tell what part of it is genuinely good, and what part of it is motivated by guilt and regret. Regret for not being present in your friends lives until it was too late. Regret for not transitioning earlier. But you might as well get out with it.

ROSE: Yes June?
TEREZI: SP1T 1T OUT, D1CK4SS
JUNE: jeez okay!
JUNE: so.
JUNE: my plan is to go back in time and get my kid self to come out as a girl when she was younger!
JAKE: Huh?
ROXY: ,’:/
TEREZI: >:0
ROSE: Interesting. I think I can see where you’re going with this, June, but please continue.
JUNE: well.
JUNE: as you all know, when we got to Earth-C i turned into “K1ND OF 4 M4SS1V3 S4DS4CK.”
TEREZI: Y3P!
JUNE: not my words obviously.
JUNE: but like, i had all these powers and responsibilities and i just
JUNE: did nothing! i was so depressed and dysphoric i didn’t get out of bed until this trip! i didn’t even find out WHO i was until a few days ago!
JUNE: thanks for that by the way, Terezi
TEREZI: >:P W3LCOM3
JAKE: You know i dont quite believe i was ever informed about how that happened!
ROSE: Yes, I admit I was curious as well.
JUNE: um
TEREZI: >;]
JUNE: maybe later? that’s not particularly something I want to discuss in front of a relative, ectobiological or otherwise!
ROXY: :0
ROXY: juney are u tellin me u and rezi went to bonetown so hard that she transed ur gender
JUNE: no! TEREZI: Y3S
JUNE: >:0
TEREZI: >:]
JUNE: ANYWAYS
JUNE: when i finally came out
ROSE: Of Terezi’s bedroom?
JUNE: ROSE!!
ROSE: Apologies, I saw an opportunity and I had to take it, please, continue.
JUNE: well, it felt like i had lifted some kind of fog! everything made sense again!
JUNE: and then it all happened.
JUNE: Dave, Karkat, Callie, Jane, Jade, Kanaya... Rose, I’m so sorry.

You touch your hand to Rose’s cold metal digits. She gives you a rueful smile.

ROSE: If all goes according to plan, I’ll see her again. In another life.
JUNE: i hope so. i miss her too.
JUNE: but my point is, if i had been clearheaded, i could have headed this off at the pass.
JUNE: so, my proposal is, i go back in time, tell my younger self that she’s a girl, and then i’ll be in the right space to deal with this!
JAKE: June my dear i dont mean to rain on your parade but arent you afraid you might encounter some resistance?
JAKE: You were so deep in the closet that it may be hard to find you behind all the skeletons so to speak!
JAKE: And trust me it can be a rough day being flung out of the closet whole-hatch!
JAKE: I had a bit of a tardier start than most but the time between me accepting myself and having to put thoughts to action was not very long at all!

Roxy puts his hand on Jake’s shoulder. You’d vaguely heard of how Dirk and Jake had gotten together during their session, something to do with Jake kissing Dirk’s decapitated head. You suppose that would give anyone some complicated feeling about closets and the amount of skeletons in them.

Jake had been the one to finally kill Dirk. In a blaze of Hope and a gunshot to the head, at least according to your two Seers. But not before some of your other friends had fallen similarly.

JUNE: hm.
JUNE: i do get what you’re saying jake! but at least i can do some test runs first.
JUNE: give myself lee way to warn myself if this goes wrong, and report back.
ROSE: Well, it’s worth a shot. And it would have been nice for my younger self to have more transfeminine friends to relate to.
JUNE: yeah! i’m really sorry we haven’t had more of a chance to talk about that stuff. but, with everything that’s going on...
ROSE: More pressing matters, I assure you that I understand.
ROXY: well what are u waitin for
ROXY: decanoninze us bitch
TEREZI: 1 DUNNO
TEREZI: DO3SN’T TH1S 4LL S33M 4 B1T
TEREZI: RUSH3D?
TEREZI: L4ST T1M3 1 S3NT 3GB3RT ON 4 M1SS1ON, 1 S3NT H3R OUT W1TH 4 L1ST 10 FRONDS LONG
TEREZI: WH1CH 1 ONLY MOSTLY US3D TO FUCK W1TH H3R!
JUNE: i mean, i’m not opposed to you two using your seery powers to try and figure the best way forward.
JUNE: but there, i was more of a tool, working in small bits behind the scenes
TEREZI: >:D
JUNE: i know what i said! but anyway, i didn’t really have to, like, talk to someone.
JUNE: i just moved stuff around, wrote some messages, and punched vriska in the face! and that was the cascading factor that saved our session! for the time being at least.
JUNE: and unless i can punch the gender into my younger self, i don’t think that’s going to work!
JUNE: also i’m pretty sure that would be child abuse!
JUNE: i don’t think there’s like, a precise thing i can say or do that will cause my younger self to realize it.
JUNE: i just have to talk to her!
TEREZI: OK4Y. 1T’S NOT TH3 WORST 1D34 1’V3 3V3R H34RD
TEREZI: 4ND 1 KNOW YOU’R3 4LSO K1ND OF US1NG TH1S 4S 4N 3XCUS3 TO GO B4CK 4ND FORC3F3M YOUR YOUNG3ER S3LF
JUNE: gross, don’t say it like that!
TEREZI: BUT 1 KNOW WH4T 1T’S L1K3 US1NG THIS SH1T FOR P3RSON4L G4IN
TEREZI: 4ND 1 G3T 1T
TEREZI: 1F 1T S4V3S TH3 T1M3L1N3, GR34T
TEREZI: BUT 1 HOP3 YOU M4N4G3 TO G3T SOM3 C4TH4RS1S OUT OF TH1S
JUNE: thanks rezi. but also, i don’t think i need to decanonize us just yet.
JUNE: i don’t wanna go into this entirely gung-ho without any support.
JUNE: roxy, do you think you could hide this ship? like, both from canon and visibility.
ROXY: hmmmm
ROXY: gues i never really tried b4 tbh
ROXY: wel, no time like the presnet!

They close their eyes and concentrate hard, until you vaguely hear something: the sound of static, flickering all around you. As you peer out the window, you realize you can’t see the rest of the ship.

JUNE: haha, holy cow it worked! thanks rox!
ROXY: np egbutt! ROXY: also DAM im good

You crack your knuckles and place your hands on the table. Time to get to work.

EB: hi!
EB: uhhh, who are you?
EB: oh shoot this is gonna be confusing to read one second.
EB: whaaaaaaaat color should i use
EB: there, that’ll do, hehe :B
EB: i. um. why do you have nearly the same chumhandle as me?
EB: and the same text color?
EB: and why do you type like me?
EB: weeellll brace yourself!
EB: hi, i’m june! i’m you from the future! and also, i’m a girl!
EB: and so are you! :B
EB: ...
EB: ohhhhhhh.
EB: oh i get it.
EB: see! take that terezi, told you i could do it!
EB: you’re one of those trolls!
EB: wait no.
EB: you’re that jerk troll girl from before! you even have the same text color!
EB: ohhhhh dammit that’s why i had this one on hand.
EB: pretty lame trolling attempt honestly! calling someone a girl is like, such a dumb insult
EB: like who wouldn’t wanna be a girl? girls are cool!
EB: that’s kinda sexist
EB: wait no let’s explore that!
EB: you wanna be a girl?
EB:
EB: i mean
EB: uhhhhhhhh
EB: hold on rose is pestering me
EB: wait what’s that sound

You use Rose’s crystal ball to look from your younger self typing away at her keyboard, out to the house, where you see your big mistake. A mistake in the form of a large meteor, heading towards a house without the entry requirements fulfilled. You scream and retcon back to the ship, nestled in space and surrounded by voidy magics. You collapse back into your chair, with the rest of your shipmates looking at you.

TEREZI: SO JUN3
TEREZI: HOW’D 1T GO?
JUNE: ...
JUNE: one more try.

It’s been at least 50 tries now.

You’ve tried tons of different strategies: going back before the game (too early); leaving a note at the moment of your birth (ALWAYS got blown away by the breeze); at multiple points in game (similar to the first, the bomb you dropped on your younger self distracted her into a doomed timeline). And at the end of it all, you’re just tired, near the point of tears. It’s like the universe itself is trying to prevent you from doing what you need to. Or maybe just what you want to do. You storm off to your room on the ship while the rest of the crew decide to regroup tomorrow. You lie down in bed, trying to figure out what you’re doing wrong.

ROSE: June? Are you in there?
JUNE: *sniff*
JUNE: yeah, where else would i be?

Rose opens the door, her red eyes glinting in the dim light. She sits down on the bed next to you. You turn away.

ROSE: You know you don’t have to do this alone, right?
JUNE: ...
JUNE: i know. but i just thought that this once, i could be right about something.
JUNE: i spent years being a fucking tool to people who were smarter than me! and i wasn’t even considered smart enough to be manipulated by anyone but my friends!
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Well if you consider being manipulated by a white-text creep a privilege.
JUNE: ugh. sorry, i didn’t mean it like that. it just feels like i got stunted, you know?
JUNE: and this isn’t me saying like, that it was a good thing that the rest of your parents were so fucked up.
JUNE: karkat told me once that it took dave years to stop punching out at him in his sleep. it was like his body was on attack mode 24/7
JUNE: what did i have to complain about? a dad that baked me too many cakes for my birthday? boo fuckin hoo egbert.

Rose shifts closer to you on the bed, laying a cool hand on your forehead.

ROSE: June, I saw a lot of your home the day we entered the game. I saw how you acted in that house.
ROSE: It’s been a while; do you mind if I indulge in a little psychoanalysis?
JUNE: heh. yeah, go ahead. my brain is wiiiiiiiide open to you doctor rose.
ROSE: Oh?
ROSE: Interesting.
ROSE: Well, what it seemed like to me is that you and your father had trouble communicating. Instead of spending time with him, you avoided confrontation with him at all costs, because when you did, it inevitably came down to a Strife. A total breakdown in familial communication can be difficult. It can make a home feel like a minefield, your room both a refuge and a prison.
JUNE: ...yeah.
ROSE: And that’s not even to start on the notes.
JUNE: ugh, don’t even get me started on the notes! did you know i found one like, a few months ago?
ROSE: It seems your father wanted you to be the vision of you that he had in his mind. He filled the house with harlequins in an attempt to appeal to a version of you that at that point had stopped existing. You were changing and the only way that he knew how to deal with it was by assuming you were going to be the kind of person who he wanted you to be. Someone he aspired to be, the kind of person, or man, I suppose, that wears suits and shaves and has a serious business job.
ROSE: And unfortunately, you didn’t get the opportunity to show him who you were, to dissuade him away from this false vision he had projected onto your future. I heard Jane had a similar experience with her father, and it took open communication to move past it.
JUNE: god, my dad.
JUNE: you know, sometimes i think of going back. trying to save him. it seems so easy right? but every time i do i just... can’t.
JUNE: i don’t know why.
ROSE: Paradox space works in strange ways. Even non-seers can sometimes have premonitions about the way things are supposed to be.
JUNE:...
ROSE: Which is why I think your plan to transfem your younger self could work.
JUNE: wait...
JUNE: but
JUNE: i thought you were all just, i don’t know.
JUNE: humoring me?

Rose’s face quirks up, and she takes your face in her hands, which is a bit uncomfortable with how cold they are.

ROSE: June.
ROSE: Juniper P. Egbert.
ROSE: While I am more than inclined to humor you, I want you to know that I respect you far too much to lie to you like that.

You feel yourself flushing a bit under the extended facial and eye contact, and you look away.

JUNE: aw, thanks rose. :B
JUNE: but all my plans failed! not a single one got off the ground! doomed timelines and dead baby junes left and right!
ROSE: June, while that’s true, you were going for a very... direct approach.
JUNE:...well yeah, i thought that was the only way to move things forward. i can be kinda dense at the best of times, so i thought the only way for that to happen was just gonna be to come out and say it!
ROSE: Well, your approach to egg-cracking, I think, could use some delicacy. Perhaps what we need is more of a slow boil.
ROSE: Bringing you up to coming out of your shell ever so slowly, slowly, until you’re no longer splattering on the counter, but a fully-formed spheroid, glistening and full of Freudian implication that will have to go absolutely unpacked.
JUNE:
JUNE: rose you lost me.
ROSE: Well, I think you’re right in one thing. Excessive timeline interference will likely be a poor choice.
ROSE: If our younger selves are constantly under the influence from a bunch of canonically-detached distant older selves, I can’t imagine what kind of shenanigans would occur.
ROSE: However, if we were to employ some kind of agent inside the game, to facilitate your hatching...
JUNE: agent? what, like jack?
ROSE: No. I was thinking me.
JUNE: huh? didn’t you just say that we shouldn’t interfere too much?
ROSE: You misunderstand.
ROSE: I mean employing the younger me to help hatch your egg.
ROSE: Who better to influence you over the course of our time spent in Sburb than the younger me? She’ll likely be a bit more cooperative with the suggestion, given that she’s already out as transfem, and her seer powers may help a bit in the... hatching.
JUNE: hmmmmm...
JUNE: :B
JUNE: why not? it sounds like a better plan than anything i’ve come up with, haha.
JUNE: and i honestly wouldn’t mind having a bit more of your influence in my life, especially since we spent three years out of contact!
ROSE: Don’t sell yourself short June, you’re the one that came up with this particular retcon thread in the first place.
ROSE: And I agree, it will be fun to see what kind of... influences I have on you.

She smirks a bit, and it makes you shiver for a reason you don’t know.

JUNE: haha.
JUNE: um.
JUNE: what are we waiting for?

Rose stares into your eyes for a moment then stands up, letting go of your face.

ROSE: Nothing, I suppose.
ROSE: Time to get to work.

TT: Hello.
TT: Yes, hello. For the sake of clarity I’ll change my text color.
TT: Hm.
TT: It will have to do for now.
TT: I’ll spare the pleasantries and get down to business. I am a version of you from the future.
TT: I have to say that I had suspected that would be the case. This game that we’re about to be embroiled in is supposed to have some strange temporal effects.
TT: Though I have to say, I think there is still a chance that you’re simply one of the trolls playing an elaborate goof, especially given your somewhat obvious choice of text color.
TT: Yes, the text color.
TT: There is a reason for that.
TT: And that is?
TT:
TT:
TT: Back on the task at hand. I don’t want to risk revealing more information than is necessary. But what I have to say concerns one of your fellow players.
TT: Egbert, to be precise.
TT: Ah, I see. What about him?
TT: Well that’s just the thing.
TT: “Him.”
TT: Oh?
TT: Oooooohhhhhhh.
TT: I take it you get my point.
TT: I understand that you’ve been trying to... understand where your sexuality lies at the moment. You’re mostly sure your intentions lean sapphic, but occasionally, you feel something pulling you perhaps to a certain member of the perceived opposite sex. This alone has caused you to have many doubts, over whether it is strictly platonic affection, some form of compulsory heterosexuality, a simple case of being starved for better company, or a true marker that your sexuality is not quite as definitive as you had previously believed.
TT: So the reasons for that were...
TT: That Egbert is trans girl, yes.
TT: Huh.
TT: Holy shit.
TT: Take your time, I understand it’s a lot to process.
TT: So, the reason for that...
TT: How did I not see this?
TT: I was surprised by my blindness to that particular subject as well. An egg living in my midst for over a decade, and I had no idea. And the signs were there!
TT: Perhaps I was psychoanalyzing too hard on Dave being a massive closet case, then helping him to work his way out of said closet, to notice similar things in Egbert.
TT: I suppose so. Good to know I was right on that front, at least.
TT: And as for us, I assume you now are more sure in your identity?
TT: Yes, I fully adhere to lesbianism these days. Though an exploration of ones identity is never a bad thing to embark on, even when you are almost certain of the destination.
TT: I see. It’s good to hear that we find ourselves eventually.
TT: And is there anything I should take from you using that exact shade of green, meaning that it’s likely fairly close to the top of your Pesterchum client?
TT:
TT: God I forgot how nosy I could be. I’ve already said too much, and I shouldn’t reveal more than is necessary.
TT: I came to talk to you because I have a request. A mission, even, if you will.
TT: Well, can I say no?
TT: Of course, you can. There will be no immediate consequences.
TT: But.
TT: There’s always a but. When Strider is around, generally a plush felt one.
TT: I come from a future that is... suboptimal.
TT: Not quite doomed, if that is even a coherent concept anymore, but one where we think we can do better.
TT: Our plan, as of now, involves getting Egbert’s egg to crack during the game. I can’t say exactly why, but it’s important that this happens.
TT: You want me to crack their egg?
TT: I can’t say I’m much of a cook, but I do have to say I’m curious how their omelet turns out. I’m in.
TT: There’s another reason we’re recruiting you rather than telling her directly.
TT: Such attempts... haven’t panned out so far.
TT: You’ll need to be subtle. She should come to her own conclusions about herself. This is important. Of course, a little help from a friend along the way is necessary, but it has to be organic.
TT: Hm. That does sound like a challenge. But I think I’m up to it.
TT: Oh, thank god.
TT: I suppose I should trust myself a little more.
TT: Alright, if that’s all, I should go.
TT: One last thing, if you don’t mind.
TT: What’s her name?
TT: June.
TT: Pretty name. I like it.
TT: I can’t wait to hear it from her own lips.

JUNE: now what?
ROSE: Now?
ROSE: We wait.

>Rose: Intervene

You sit back from your computer, tapping one of your knitting needles against your legs. So Egbert is an egg. That... helps to explain some things, but also puts you in a bit of a pickle. Once you start this game, you’re well aware that time is going to be short. Of course, you can always try cracking her after the game, but from what your older self told you, it seems like time is of the essence. But subtlety is key here, and you think you can probably slip some...suggestions into conversations without using too much time.
You decide to chat with June... if that is the name she chooses in this eventuality, to try and sow some seeds. Poor choice of words but you get what you mean.

TT: Hello John. Am I to assume that you’ve already come into possession of the beta of this game that we promised to play together
EB: wow, i can’t believe you would just assume that rose! who told you that?
TT: Someone with enough psychological problems to fill an entire textbook, I would assume.
EB: hehe, are you talking about dave or yourself?
TT: Touché Egbert. Touché.
TT: I was just wondering because I’ve heard from various “Brofessional Sources” that this game is supposed to “help you become your ideal self.” I assume this means a very in-depth character creator.
EB: ooh, that sounds fun! honestly i can’t even read gamebro, it’s straight garbage, so i haven’t heard much!
TT: Well, I suppose it’s for the best. It’s always a joy to see someone who hasn’t inundated themselves with every walkthrough and piece of information available go through a game. You texting me after the Vanguard Demon killed you last week was a treat.
EB: hey, how was i supposed to know that you’re supposed to die there! i just kept trying to run away!
TT: My point exactly.
EB: >:(
TT: Heh, anyways. If there is a robust character creator, what kind of character would you make?

You are fully aware that this game will entail no such system, but these sorts of things were integral to you coming out into your own, and for a dork like Egbert, it could certainly help. Maybe video games are good for you after all.

EB: uhhhhh, idk! probably just a big strong guy with like, a hammer! or a drill, like bruce willis in armageddon! aw man that guy is so cool!
TT: Are you sure? Because unless my ears deceived me, you were using the female voice when we co-oped in Demon’s Souls the other day. Granted, the game’s usage of obscuring armor for both genders does serve to hide gender, but seeing as you got hit quite a lot, I had lots of opportunities to hear which voice you picked.
EB:...
EB: uh, yeah, i did for this game! because like, if i’m gonna be dying a lot, i’d rather be hearing a girls voice!
TT: So you’re telling me that you prefer to hear the sound of women in pain? Is that what you’re telling me John?
EB: no that’s not what i meant! stop twisting my words around! girls are cool and i don’t wanna see them hurt! it’s just like
TT: Like what, John?
EB: girls are cooler than guys! and they’re nicer to look at! so what if i wanna play a girl in a game? cause if you have a problem with that rose, that’s kinda sexist!
TT: That’s quite the outburst, John. But I’ll accept that and allow you to play girls in video games. You now have your girl friend’s blessing.
EB: my
EB: oh haha, girl friend as in friend who’s a girl! gotcha.
TT: Indeed.
EB: ...
EB: anyways, i’m gonna go try and get the game from my dad, brb!
TT: Talk to you later. I’m going to get started on the setup on my side.

You sit back in your chair. You think you were maybe coming on a bit too strongly, but you didn’t psychologically press too hard. You hope. Either way, there are other pressing matters to attend to, more metal pieces in proverbial fires than you know what to deal with.
You have a feeling it’s going to be a long day.

TT: Hmmmmm...
GA: Well
GA: What Do You Think

You take a look at the outfit that Kanaya had sent you, giving a small twirl around in the mirror. You are wearing a long black dress with purple sleeves, a long, trailing violet sash flowing from your waist, and your signature besmirched Squiddles logo on the chest.

TT: I think...
GA: Dont Start That Again
TT: Don’t start what again?
GA: The Finish Crumbs
GA: You Leave Them All Over The Place In Every Conversation We Have
GA: We Are Going To Have A Problem With Marchbugs If You Keep Leaving Them All Over The Ground
TT: Well we can’t be having that, can we? They’ll ruin our lovely picnic.
TT: Oh look, they’re carrying away the wine. On second thought, maybe we should let them stick around, to curb our worse tendencies.
TT: ...
TT: A few more for the road.
TT: But in all seriousness, I’ll stop. I like the dress.
GA: Oh Good
GA: I Thought It Was A Bit Too Close In Style To The Types Of Clothes I Usually Wear
GA: But I Now See My Fears Are Unfounded
TT: You have a knack for fashion. Perhaps we should collaborate someday, I’ve been getting fond of knitting ever since my friend sent me some needles and yarn as a birthday present.
TT: At first, I was just doing it to make another present as a show of passive-aggressive one-upmanship, but I now find I actually quite like it. Bested again, I suppose.
GA: Ah
GA: Your Friend
GA: I Assume You Mean The Silly John Human
GA: Im Sorry That Sounds Weird
GA: John Your Friend John
TT: More or less.
GA: What Do You Mean More Or Less
GA: How Can One Be More Or Less The Person They Are
TT: Hm. An interesting conundrum. After all, are any of us really, truly ourselves in the end?
GA: Yes
GA: That Is What It Means To Have An Identity
TT: Identity can be a fluid concept among many different lines! People can change over time, and the person I am a year from now may not even resemble the person I am today.
GA: Hm
GA: A Fair Point I Did Not Consider
TT: Anyways, speaking of my friend who may or may not be John, I should check up on him.
TT: Hm.
TT: Well, he looks fine, but I’ve never seen him with that outfit before.
GA: Oh?
GA: One Moment I Will Go See What It Look Like
GA: Ah
TT: It’s a good look on him. He usually dresses like a typical 13-year-old gamer boy, so it’s nice to see him try something with some style. And the fit is nice as well, unusual.
GA: The Jacket
GA: The Jeans
GA: The Shoes
GA: Wait
GA: I Think I Know Where That Outfit Came From
GA: Give Me A Moment
GA: Yeah It Was Vriska
TT: Oh? One of your friends, I assume? Why would she be giving away outfits to hapless youths?
GA: Hold On I Will Ask Her
GA: She Told Me To Buzz Off And That “My human is 8etter than yours, so step off!!!!!!!!”
TT: And I assume by “your human,” she means me.
GA:
GA: Yes I Suppose So
GA: But Anyways
GA: It Appears She Has Taken John Under Her Wing
GA: But I Have To Say
GA: As Much As Vriska Has More Of An Eye For Fashion Than Most Trolls
GA: I Cannot Say I Am Fond Of The Outfit
TT: Why not? It seems perfectly suitable, if a little pedestrian. I certainly think it’s a little better than the garish green suit he was wearing a few minutes before.
TT: ...
TT: Hm.
GA: Rose The Marchbugs
TT: Oh, sorry. I was just thinking.
TT: Kanaya, how would you like to design a better outfit?
GA: Oh
GA: Do You Not Like The One I Just Made For You
TT: No, not for me! I still very much like the outfit.
TT: I was talking about for J
TT: For Jo
TT: Sigh.
TT: Kanaya, can you keep a secret?
GA: That Depends On What It Is
TT: Hm.
TT: Screw it, I feel like I’m on my own in this, and I need a confidante.
TT: The reason that I was hemming and hawing over whether my good friend is actually John is because I have good reason to suspect that that is not the case.
TT: Specifically that John might not be my friends name and they may not even be a boy.
GA: Ahhhhhhhh
GA: Oh That Makes Much More Sense Now
GA: It Also Makes The Enthusiasm With Which They Approached Impersonating You In Our First Conversation Make Much More Sense
GA: Though That Could Have Just Been A Pranksters Vigor
TT: I’m glad to see that even aliens have concepts of transgenderism.
GA: Yes We Do Have Similar Concepts
GA: Especially Jadebloods
GA: Very Few Of Our Caste Are Men Including Those That Were Initially Observed To Be Male
GA: Myself Being An Example Of That Phenomenon
GA: We Are Not Particularly Sure Of The Reason For That To Be Honest
GA: Most Of Us Just Go With It
TT: Oh! Well, thank you for sharing that with me.
GA: Is It Exceptional That I Would
TT: On Earth it is, or was at least, considered someone of a secretive subject. At least in some modern cultures, being discovered as transgender could lead to certain consequences. I still actually haven’t told any of my friends that I’m trans, except for Jade.
TT: Dave is an enigma to me in regards to gender at least, and at this point in his life he sadly hasn’t graduated from edgy humor “for the lulz,” so he’s a no-go.
TT: And as for...
TT: Well her name is provisionally June but don’t tell her that.
TT: She’s still in the closet, and I may save that trump card for future conversational leverage.
GA: Well
GA: Thank You For Disclosing That To Me
TT: Normally I would refrain from disclosing someone else’s identity, especially if they themselves were not yet cognizant of it. But, given we have a time restraint, and for some reason Egbert’s gender appears to be important to future events, I considered it prudent. Along with what I’m about to suggest.
TT: And as for my own identity, I’m chatting with a friend with a similar experience. I’m more than happy to let my guard down in that regard.
GA: But Not In Others I Suppose
TT: One has to keep up appearances.
TT: But back to the subject at hand, my suggestion was that we make up a new outfit for June. This accomplishes three objectives: first, if we are subtle enough, we can sow the seeds for future egg hatchery.
GA: Phrasing
TT: Second, we get to flex our creative muscles in designing a more fitting outfit for her. And third, you get to get a step up over Vriska, who I take it you have a contentious relationship with.
GA: How Did You Know That
TT: An amateur psychiatrist never reveals her secrets.
GA: From What I Understand Of The Human Concept
GA: Which Oddly Seems To Be Some Kind Of Paid Moirail Which In Itself Seems Rather Mortifying
GA: You Humans Are So Strange
GA: But Isnt The Whole Point That You Know What They Are Talking About
TT: Well if you have to know, the ways you speak about her, or rather speak around her, imply a rather tense shared history that you don’t want to get into. So I won’t, but I will offer you a chance at some kind of payback.
GA: ...
GA: Gah Now You Have Me Doing It Too
GA: Alright Im In
GA: I Will Send Her A Portable Wardrobifier Like I Gave You
GA: That Should Make It Easier For Her To Store Outfits With Her Frankly Silly Fetch Modus System
GA: I Will Return To Confer With You About What Type Of Outfit We Should Make For Her
TT: Wonderful, see you then.

You take a moment to stretch before beginning a new conversation. Taking a glance over the room, you see several of your friends doing various things. Sollux and Eridan are arguing again, and Eridan keeps glancing over at you, clearly trying to get you to auspisticise. You are not going to fall for that one again. Then there’s Vriska, typing and snickering away at her computer. You narrow your eyes and turn back to the screen, letting out a small scoff, and, using Trollian, head to a point chronologically where you see June seated on the edge of her very tall hive, typing on her husktop.

GA: John
GA: I Am Sending You A Code For Something You Should Alchemize
GA: Its Very Important
EB: okay...
EB: what is it though?
EB: also i don’t think we’ve talked in a while, hi! you’re that troll that rose likes to talk to, right?
GA: Hi As Well
GA: And Yes I Suppose Thats True
GA: Also Egbert Your Ruse Is Up
GA: I Know It Was You Pretending To Be Rose And Not Actually Rose When I Was Attempting To Talk To Her For The First Time
EB: hehe, i gotcha! you fell for the most classic prank!
EB: lying!
GA: Yes Indeed
GA: Anyways You Should Alchemize The Thing I Sent You
EB: *suspicious*
EB: this isn’t another thing that’s gonna get me killed is it?
GA: No
GA: What Do You Mean Another Thing You Seem Alive To Me
EB: apparently in an alternate timeline, terezi killed me by trying to get me to skip to the final boss before i was ready!
GA: Wow
GA: So The Prankster Became The Pranked
GA: Sorry That Was Probably Insensitive
EB: i mean, i don’t remember anything from that timeline! besides the fact that we have a dave that’s part bird now.
EB: so that is cool! and also confusing.
EB: but what is the thing you’re sending me?
GA: Its A Portable Wardrobifier
GA: Rose And I Have Seen Your Recent Outfit And We Believe It Leaves Something To Be Desired
GA: We Believe We Can Do Better
EB: oooh, what kind of outfit?
EB: i have to say, this one is really growing on me! it fits really nice! but when vriska sent it over i thought it would be something a bit more...
GA: Yes?
EB: adventurey! i don’t know, something that makes me feel like i’m in a fantasy world!
EB: i’m out here slaying monsters and saving salamanders in jeans, a t shirt and a jacket!
EB: sorry if this is a bit silly.
GA: No Not At All
GA: I Will See If We Can Come Up With Something
GA: Adventurey
EB: haha, thanks! also, since we’re going to be talking, and since i think everyone’s given up on the whole mysterious troll thing, can i have your name?
GA: Its Kanaya
EB: oh that’s a really pretty name!
EB: well thank you kanaya!
GA:
GA: You Are Welcome
GA: Be Back Soon

GA: Oh And Do Not Forget To Alchemize The Portable Wardrobifier

You frown. You weren’t expecting that kind of reaction. From June or yourself. What initially seemed like simple naivete seems to be more earnestness than anything else. You should make an effort to talk with her more, she could prove interesting. Not on the same level as Rose, of course, but interesting.

GA: Im Back
GA: Egbert Is Amenable To The Change
GA: With The Suggestion That Whatever We Make Be “Adventurey”
TT: Likely something with more fantastical elements to compliment the fantasy adventure, in which she has spent significant amounts of time in a bright green suit.
GA: Horrifying
GA: Well To Start With Which Color Palette Do You Think Will Fit Your Friend
TT: I was thinking something... blue.

The two of you spend a little while designing the new outfit, going back and forth over all the details. You and Rose both go back and forth on whether you should offer a waist sash or a scarf, but eventually Rose reigns victorious, adding a scarf to the outfit. Nothing too revealing, plenty adventurey, but also with some decorative flairs, like the small sapphire broach snug at the neckline, and the lightly whispy edges at the sleeves. The pants (a skirt would be going too far, and shorts wouldn’t fit the vibe of the piece) were a bit of a snug fit, sat over a pair of simple shoes, but everything was still mostly kept to solid colors, a blue shirt to match her text color, the faint gossamer Slimer on the front, darker blue pants and the long, cyan scarf. You call it “Windyouth’s Awakening,” and send it over to Egbert’s now handheld wardrobifier. You see her click on it, and instantly, it appears on her body. She looks down at it for a second, a smile creeping up her face, as she gives a twirl, the scarf arcing out behind her. Then, seemingly remembering that people can see her, she coughs, and shrinks a bit in her demeanor. She begins texting back excitedly.

EB: holy cow you both delivered! i really like it!
GA: Oh Im Glad
GA: The Look Suits You
EB: hehe this thing twirls really nice!
EB: thank you so much kanaya! i feel like im ready to kick ass, but like in a cool heroic way!
EB: hold on i’m gonna do a cool superhero pose on top of this building!
GA: You Are Quite Welcome
GA: I Will Pass On Your Regards To Rose She Suggested The Scarf
EB: please do, this is awesome!
EB: oh hold on i’m getting pestered, brb!

You look at her as she’s texting on her palmhusk, engaged in some other conversations. You and Rose really did a good job on that. She looks very cute in it, and no you didn’t just think that did you? Eyes on the prize Maryam, you have better things to do than go getting flushed crushes on random aliens you’ve barely talked to. Better to table those thoughts for when you don’t have the weight of all your lives on the line.
You shake yourself out of that train of thought, only to hear the scraping of a chair and the sound of footsteps walking towards you, belonging to a very angry pair of red sneakers attached to a very angry Vriska Serket.

VRISKA: Wh8t gives, fussyfangs????????
KANAYA: What Are You Talking About
VRISKA: Giving eg8ert an new outfit after I J8ST made him one????????
VRISKA: Wh8t is this all about? You’ve 8arely talked to me since we started sgru8!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: What did I do to you, Maryam? Kill your lusus????????
KANAYA: No That Was Karkat Albeit Indirectly
KANAYA: I Just Thought The Outfit You Gave Him Left Something To Be Desired
KANAYA: Namely A Sense Of Fashion Beyond That Of A Wandering Vagabond
VRISKA: D::::<
VRISKA: Oh it is 8N Maryam!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: John wants adventurous? Fine, I’ll give him adventurous!

With that vaguely troubling statement, she storms off, going back to her computer and typing furiously. You message Rose.

GA: We Have A Problem
TT: Oh? Does she not like the outfit? It looks to me like she did.
GA: No Not That She Said She Loved It And Thank You For The Scarf
GA: We Have A Vriska Problem
TT: Ah. I see she didn’t take too kindly to us muscling in on her proverbial turf?
GA: She Did Not
GA: I Think She’s Going To Try And Give June A New Outfit
GA: Something More Adventurey Apparently
TT: Hm. Well then we have our work cut out for us.
GA: We Do?
TT: We’ll simply have to beat Vriska at her own game. Which to be fair was never hers to begin with. I say we draft up another outfit, a counter outfit that will suit Egbert better, rather than just expecting June to conform to what I assume is Vriska’s style.
GA: Hm
GA: Yes That Is What Shes Doing Isnt It
GA: Either Way I Am In
TT: Round two, then.

You glance over to June’s tab on trollian. Vriska has granted her a new outfit, one that, while it is nice, still falls a bit flat. A black tank top, some wide jean shorts, and a cerulean bandana around the neck. It looks nice and mobile, and June does look pretty happy with it, but not as much as the one you made for her. You smirk and set to work with Rose creating a new outfit. You decide on something a bit simpler in design. This time, you get your way, and allow a long, trailing sash from the waist. You also get to choose a new palette, deciding on a black top, charcoal pants, and a jade-green sash. The pants this time are much looser, and you decide to keep with the sleeveless motif, adding in a blouselike buttonup as the top. You top it off with a hood to throw off the fact that this outfit is a tad more feminine than the first. You send the link over and send June a message. You name this one “Marythief’s Gambit”

GA: We Have Developed Another Outfit For You
GA: We Would Appreciate It If You Would Give This One A Look
EB: okay! vriska might get mad at me again though.
GA: I Apologize For That
GA: Her Competitive Spirit Often Gets The Best Of Her
GA: And Other People Around Her
EB: i don’t mind you getting competitive if it means i get to try on even more cool outfits!
EB: sorry, i hope that doesn’t make me sound like a greedy jerk.
GA: It Does Not
GA: I Am More Than Happy To Keep Doing This Until Vriska Cries Lusus
GA: Now I Believe There Is An Outfit Waiting For You In Your Wardrobifier
EB: oh right! one sec.

She changes into it, and once again, she seems to enjoy it very much! She cinches the sash tightly around her waist, then flips her hood up, giggling a little bit.

EB: oh i love this one too! i cant decide if i like this one more or the other one!
EB: do you mind if i keep both?
GA: They Are All Yours
GA: And Not Just Because They Are Alchemically Bonded To Your Sylladex
GA: Feel Free To Wear Them Whenever You Like
GA: And If You Cannot Decide The Wardrobifier Has A Randomize Function That You Can Set To Change Into Different Outfits Periodically
EB: oh that is so sweet! thank you so much!
EB: seriously, you and rose and vriska are being so cool and just giving me all these cool clothes and i don’t know what to say!
GA: I See
GA: And Would You Say That You Prefer Vriskas Outfits Or The Ones That We Have Prepared
EB: oh, well i couldn’t say! they’re all really good!
EB: (hehe)
GA: Hm
GA: Well Then You May Prepare Yourself For More Outfits Until We Can Definitively Say Who Is The Victor
EB: well i’ll be waiting to try them on! :B

You hear a scream of frustration from the other side of the room and hear Vriska typing even faster. Within a couple minutes, June is answering her phone, and putting on a new outfit which is... oh she’s not even trying. She just gave June a version of her advanced Mindfang outfit, the one with long blue-and-black coat, and the... the skirt. Oh dear. You look at June, who initially looks pretty excited about the whole ensemble, until she moves, and the skirt brushes against her legs. She freezes, and her face turns bright red as she starts furiously texting Vriska. After a second, she calms down, but you’re not looking at her, you’re looking at Vriska. And as she glances over at you, you share a look, and understand in a moment that both of you are trying to do the exact same thing. You shouldn’t be surprised, you and Vriska cracked your eggs around the same time, but still, you aren’t sure how to proceed. You turn back to the screen and message June.

GA: Wow June That Is Quite The Outfit
GA: I Must Say Vriska Has Done An Impressive Job For Once
GA: Not That I Am Considering Throwing In The Towel Mind You
EB: oh, yeah it’s uh, really great!
EB: i just didn’t really
EB: uh
EB: expect the skirt!
EB: but vriska told me that a lot of boys wear skirts on your planet.
EB: sorry, “battle drapes.”

You shoot a glance over at Vriska for her obvious lie, but she just shrugs.

GA: Ah Yes
GA: Battle Drapes
GA: Yes They Are Worn Quite Frequently
GA: By The
GA: The Cavalreapers Thats Right
GA: Leaping And Charging Into Battle With Their Battle Drapes Flying In The Wind
EB: okay! that explains it haha.
EB: because here on earth that’s a girl thing, and usually boys don’t wear skirts! unless its for funny pranks or movies.
GA: Hm
GA: Well If You Desire We Can Avoid Including Skirts If You Wish
GA: Although My Plan For Your Next Outfit Was Going To Be Something Similar To A Skirt Though Somewhat Distinct
GA: What Are Your Opinions On Tunics
EB: oh, well that’s fine! boys can wear tunics! i mean, link wears them all the time and he’s a boy so that’s fine! and they’re very
GA: Adventurey?
GA: Yes That Was The Reason I Chose It
GA: And Who Is This Link
GA: I Was Not Aware Of Another Human Player In Sburb
GA: Odd That All You Humans Have Four Letter Names
GA: That Seems So Limited From A Linguistic Perspective
EB: hehe, yeah link is my best friend! he’s gonna be joining up as soon as jade can get in!
GA: Oh Dear
GA: This Complicates Matter Severely
GA: Hold On I Need To Inform The Others Of A Yet Unencountered Variable
EB: haha, kanaya i got you again!
GA: Ah
GA: Another Prank
GA: I Swear Between The Pranks And Obfuscations And Sarcasms And Ironies You Humans Never Truly Seem To Say What You Mean
GA: It Is Exhausting
EB: aw, sorry! okay, i call a prankster’s moratorium on you, but only because we’re friends!
GA: Thank You For That
GA: I Feel As If I Am Outpranked Today
EB: (oh, and just for the sake of the prankster’s moratorium, i was lying earlier, i like you and rose’s outfits better! i was just trying to spur on your rivalry so you would keep sending me outfits, but you don’t have to make any more if you don’t want.)
GA: Well Thank You For Your Clarity
GA: I Do Feel Like Making One More Outfit
GA: I Will Not Let Vriska Have The Last Say
GA: And Do Not Worry I Will Include A Sturdy Pair Of Leggings With Your Tunic

You quickly turn to a chat with Rose, to wrangle up another outfit, and also to tell her of recent developments.

GA: Vriska Knows
TT: Ah, that would explain the skirt.
TT: So she is trying the same gambit we are, although in a way that seems more like her projecting her desires outward rather than helping a young woman reach self-actualization.
GA: Yes
GA: I Do Not Think Her Motivations Are Entirely Selfish But I Have To Say
GA: She Is Playing A Dangerous Game
TT: I agree, the purpose of this is to let her discover herself slowly, without plunging her into the deep end.
TT: From the sources that I have about her, it seems that would go... poorly.
TT: She could even reject it entirely and closet herself if overexposed too soon.
GA: Agreed
GA: We Must Be Careful Not To Crack Too Forcefully
GA: Luckily I Have Already Obtained Her Permission For The Body Of The Main Outfit
GA: I Was Thinking A Tunic
TT: Clever. Allowing her to experiment with something skirtlike without compromising her self-image at this moment too much. Nice thinking, Kanaya.
GA: Thank You
GA: Now I Believe We Should Wrap It Up After This One
TT: ...
TT: You are absolutely right.
TT: I’ve been forgetting my mission.
GA: Your Ill-Adivsed Plan To “Rip This Session A New One”
TT: In more delicate words, yes.
TT: I suppose I’ve just been having fun. Getting caught up in other people’s problems, as usual.
GA: As Opposed To Flying Off On Your Own Blowing Up Islands And Communing With Eldritch Horrors
GA: Does That Count As Your Me Time
TT: To a certain extent, though it’s always for the purpose of winning this game through any means necessary. And I can’t believe it’s something as asinine as a magical turtle quest of light.
TT: I need answers. Real answers about what’s going on here. And I’m starting to realize that you trolls don’t have them either.
TT: But first, one last outfit. Then, to business.

You two set feverishly designing the last outfit: a blue tunic that drapes down to just above the knees, a darker thick scarf to wrap around the neck and shoulders, a cinched belt, and an underlayer of navy cloth, as well as a pair of simple black boots. You name it “Androgyny Skylark,” and send it over to June, who immediately puts it on, and looks very happy and very pretty No Stop That You. It looks like she’s about to text you, but you see some familiar cerulean text show up on her screen. You look at Vriska, who is currently grinning ear to ear. What in the name of the Empress does she have planned? Then June puts on the new outfit, and it all falls into place.

A thin, white, spiderweb dress, trailing into artful tatters at the bottom. Sleeveless, with thin straps, and Vriska’s signature blue scorpio sign on the front. You gasp in utter offense and indignation. You are downright flabbergasted. How DARE she. Not only fragrantly going over the line, but with the dress that YOU MADE FOR HER. You glare over at her smug face, grinning cockily back at you as if to say, “Your move Maryam.” But you have none. You leave a quick message to June about how you “Have To Go Attend To Things,” then walk briskly over to the transportalizer and vanish. The last thing you see is Vriska’s face, the smugness turning to light worry as you leave without a word.

You are now Rose, looking through your crystal ball at your childhood friend, who is now wearing what appears to be a skimpy dress made entirely of spiderwebs. She turns beet red in embarrassment, then quietly changes back to her normal clothes. You sigh. Just as you had figured, Vriska’s overzealousness had pushed June further back into the closet. But then, you see a slight hesitation, and zoom in closer on the wardrobifier. Rather than deleting the options, she selects a few and sets it to randomize, landing on Vriska’s first outfit. She left the dress out of the randomizer queue, but it’s still in the wardrobifier. You see her finger hover over it for a second before she flips off her screen and jetpacks off.

You lean back against the wall and think. Maybe there’s hope for her yet.

There is no hope left.

Your entire soul is in exquisite agony, your eyes and ears behold a chorus of gibbering madness. You have seen beyond the Furthest Ring, glimpsed into the true terrors behind the curtains. Your quest for knowledge led you far, but now you are too far gone into the solemn depths of your own mind. You, Rose Lalonde, Seer of Light, have gone grimdark.

The disciples of your Complacency chatter around you, backing away as you vomit a black mass onto the ground of LOHAC. You stumble up from your computer, where Jade’s green text is protesting your decision. But you’ve made up your mind. Screw this session, screw this world, and screw everyone else. If this game thinks it can take everything from you, you will take it all back. You will rip out the beating heart of Sburb and crush in between your fingers. Nothing matters anymore, and you are beginning to understand that nothing ever did.

Floated aloft on a cloud of black lightning and fog, the air around you chills. Beneath you, the magma of LOHAC starts to solidify, throwing up a cloud of steam as you fly from the surface to the scene you saw in the crystal ball. Your mother’s corpse, lying, covered in blood, on the roof of a Skaian castle, right next to June’s father. June...

No. Nothing matters anymore. None of you really do either, of course. Just pawns in a game to make another universe that will inevitably self-destruct and kill itself, same as the last one. A never-ending loop of suicide and sacrifice, that’s the universe. For eternity stretching beyond, you see only darkness. Your powers themselves feel as if they cloak the future in shadow, as well as the approaching Skaia. You descend from the sky, shadowy tentacles bristling with twitching hairs and screaming mouths unfurling around you. You cast a thunderstorm pallor over the bright blue and black and white and green of this promised planet, a hollow womb built with a bomb inside. Not even your session mattered in the end, born to die, doomed to failure before you were even born. Time is chains, and Paradox Space is the prison.

Did you ever believe for a second that you could be happy? That you could one day reconcile with your distant, alcoholic mother? That you could build a new universe with love and care? You aren’t a creator, your body as permanently barren as Skaia. So what do you do? You pick, you poke, you prod, whether it be brains or buildings, you tear them into their component parts until they are rendered into nothing but dust. You cannot be happy. You were born wrong, born to play a losing game, born in the wrong body, born to die.

The storm worsens around you as you slam to the roof of the castle. Jack is here, you can sense it. You’re going to make him pay, even if it’s the last thing you do.

You float down the ruined halls, cracked windows reflecting screaming terrors: scenes of monsters so great that they wave a limb and extinguish trillions. Life on a scale so horrifying as to be incomprehensible, things that shift as you look at them, never settling on something the mind can understand as a shape.

You spy a few carapacians huddling in the corners, hidden among the tens of corpses, beheaded, stabbed, bisected. More pawns for this cruel game. There is no amount of lives that won’t be thrown away. You give them a wide berth. No need to bring others into the fold, and you don’t know what close contact with you would do for others, whether they would even survive staring into your eyes.

After ducking through a few insipid secret rooms and corridors, you spot him. A black figure, wings outstretched. You fly towards him, silently, but before you can draw your needles across his neck, he teleports away in a flash of green light. You scream in frustration, a song like a pitched-up whale song, booming and sonorous and grating all the same, backed by strange whispers around you, perhaps the ravings of long-dead gods turned eldritch horrors. You sweep past the area, arriving in a long hallway full of curtains. You almost snort at the obviousness of the metaphor. It’s all a play, some sick entertainment. As if to score the whole thing, a record in the middle. For whom this is entertaining, you can’t say, but if you find them, you’ll make them wish they had never been given the vision to play voyeur. You sweep past red, blue and green curtains, tearing aside felt and velvet, arriving to a platform behind it all, where

JUNE: hi rose! wow, I did not expect to find you here!

WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE.

June is just standing in the middle of the castle, wearing a blue outfit that’s a bit reminiscent of some of the ones you made her, with a long, trailing hood that she wore up. You try to compose yourself, the voices of darkness filling your head. You try a simple greeting.

ROSE: Nyurb gu’ilg

Fuck.

June giggles and shifts a bit, looking uncomfortable.

JUNE: heh... what?
JUNE: also, why are you all gray like that? you look weird.

You burst out angrily, trying to tell her what happened, that your parents are gone and that nothing matters anymore. That you’re sorry, but she can help you get revenge.

ROSE: G’hroog fib’th mur brup brup.

Fuck, this isn’t working! June looks scared, and she takes a step back as you try to repeat yourself more clearly.

ROSE: G’HROOG FIB’TH MUR BRUP BRUP!

June stares directly at you, then bursts out laughing.

JUNE: rose, i can’t understand a word you are saying. it is a lot of sillyspeak and gobbledygook.

You sigh. Well, that answers at least one of your questions, as she doesn’t appear to be bleeding from the eyes or screaming in madness and terror. You sigh deeply.

ROSE: Haughauuthr’l...
JUNE: wait, i know what’s going on here. it finally happened! you have gone grimdark!!!
JUNE: i told you rose. i warned you about...what did you call them? The broodfester throes?
ROSE: ...

This girl can be really, really oblivious sometimes.

JUNE: it’s ok rose, don’t worry. we will find a cure for your stubborn throes.
JUNE: but i’m still trying to find our parents! i thought my dad might have come to this castle to check out that huge black rain cloud.
JUNE: did you see the cloud, rose? its pretty awesome.

You try to tell her. She has to know; she has a right to know what happened to her father. You try to focus on communicating a simple phrase: Our parents are dead.

ROSE: Fnlth gohluyung j’rg hothaht!

DAMMIT.

JUNE: what? you sound kind of upset. What is it, rose?
ROSE: Jgngn, fnlth gohluyng j’rg HOTHAHT!
JUNE: wait, are you talking about our parents?
JUNE: oh man... you mean, they’re here?!

They’ve been killed. Jack Noir murdered them both, and you stand here on the ground beneath their corpses. The murderer is in this building, and you will find him and rip his head off. You want to say to June that you’ll make them pay. You’ll make this whole session pay for what they’ve done to us, to entwine us in this fucked-up game of theirs. That you’ll end it all.

ROSE: Shgvb throl. Goors fn’nnyuld hothahty’j otot!
JUNE: are you saying they are in trouble?
JUNE: oh no! rose, we have to go help them!

You scream into a pillow. Your black spittle flecks the purple velvet as you wail out a call to beyond the depths.

ROSE: MMPH PHLTHMMPHMPHMFRRMPHPRPH.

June shakes her head and tuts, tapping her foot.

JUNE: yes, i am frustrated too. but there is not time for such lamentations!
JUNE: do you think you can find them again?

You sigh. This isn’t going to work. You just decide to go simple. It doesn’t matter anyways. Again, nothing does.

ROSE: Shruggot.
JUNE: great! i can’t wait to see my dad. it feels like it’s been forever since i saw him.
JUNE: please lead the way rose!

You take a brief moment to hurl the golden frog statue off the transportalizer behind June, sending it crashing through the wall.

JUNE: heh! rose, do you just really make a habit of throwing things through walls?

You decide not to respond, feeling mild embarrassment at your earlier Sburb blunders. It felt like that was days ago now, and not hours. This game messes with your head.

ROSE: Bl’yorgth.
JUNE: whatever you say!

You transportalize back and begin to lead her down the hallway. She quiets down, and you notice her eyes trailing to the blood on the floor. Then you enter the hidden room where minutes ago, a few remaining carapacians rebels had been hiding. Jack had gotten to them. You feel a twinge in your stomach but push any guilt you may have had into pure rage. Justice would be served today.

JUNE: oh no! rose, what happened in here?
ROSE: Yyjyrn yulk frobbithh.
JUNE: was it jack? are you saying it was jack, rose?

Okay, now she’s just being annoying on purpose.

ROSE: FRU’FRNUHUH JGOG HHGH.
JUNE: what’s that, rose? are you getting aggravated that i am talking to you like you are a dog?

You shove your face into the pillow, letting out another muffled scream. How are you friends with this girl when she can be so oblivious and irritating all the time??? She smiles that bucktoothed smile at you.

JUNE: that is a really nice pillow, by the way.
JUNE: it goes well with your weird dark skin and gothy ensemble.

And now she’s... complimenting you? Your emotions are a fucking shambling turmoil inside you, and you just feel far, far too much of everything. You breathe in deeply, causing the lights on the wall to flicker, and then exhale.

ROSE: Knryip.
JUNE: you’re welcome!

As you float alongside her, you study her face out of the corner of your eyes. You notice her right hand, partially hidden from your view, is balled into a fist, shaking. Her nails are digging into her skin, and you realize something about June Egbert. She was trying to cheer you up back there. Despite being scared as all hell, she was doing that so that you wouldn’t seek deeper into your throes of despair and agony. Maybe she was doing it to bring you out of your trance? And for a second, you can almost feel the shadows parting, as you think that this is actually the first time you’ve met her. She has a nice face, and that blue windy outfit really fits her...

Now? Seriously? Why are you thinking about your crush on her now of all times? Have some perspective Lalonde, remember what you said about crushing the heart of this game in your hand? Yeah, stick with that, dive deeper into the broodfestering throes of corrupted gods, no more thinking about trivial things like romance.

JUNE: by the way, did you know that karkat thinks we are supposed to get married?

THE FUCK JUNE.

It’s a good thing that your skin is now an ashen grey, or you would be flushing dark. Why would she bring that up? Why would that whiny loudmouth troll bring it up? You briefly consider if he’s seen the future, but then you remember that their vision of you blacks out around... ah. You now realize why this part of the session is blacked out.

You... can’t be thinking of these things right now. Hell, what were you thinking of bringing her with you? Just to have someone to share in your pain? Someone else whose life you can ruin? What if Jack shows up, you’re well aware of what he can do, and now you’re just bringing June into danger. Great job Lalonde, you’ve met with your friend for five minutes and you’re already going to get her killed.

And isn’t it presumptuous to be calling her June already? Even with the future-proof that she’ll turn out to be a trans girl, isn’t this still just you projecting again? Using a name and pronoun set at the moment that she does not identify with? Is this just another instance of you bringing her into your pain, brought out of dull ignorance into the screaming light of day, why did you even bother to—

JUNE: rose, are you okay? you have just been sort of staring for a while, have the throes gotten worse?

You shake your head and realize that you haven’t been moving. You aren’t sure if she’s been saying anything, so you ask her to repeat

ROSE: Gorthytch svulk borbly’ahth?

She waves her hands, blushing a bit.

JUNE: wait! i hope that didn’t come off as a proposal or anything!
JUNE: sorry, i’m just making conversation.
JUNE: i guess i am a little nervous...
JUNE: because technically, this is the first time we have ever met, and also, you are talking like an eldritch monster, so i’m kind of babbling.
JUNE: we don’t actually have to get married though. i mean, not if you don’t want to.

...
God you think you might have caught some serious feelings for this girl. Not that you’re thinking about getting married to her! You’re thirteen, for starters, she isn’t even fully aware of herself, and you are officially Going Through It. The throes clear slightly from your mind, though the whispers of the horrorterrors still echo in the recesses. You still have a job to finish. And you haven’t forgotten your promise to ruin Sburb. But... for what it’s worth you think you’re out of your spiral. June looks to the floor, descending with a puff of blue air to alight on the ground.

JUNE: heheh. ok, i’ll shut up now.

You look at her and grab her hand. You need to tell her the truth. You aren’t sure what will happen if you find Jack. Even past that, you’re not sure what to do. You might continue with your plan to blow up the green sun, or you might not. For once in your life, you have no idea what’s going to happen next, or whether you’ll be living for much longer. And, barring all options, you have to bare your soul to one of your oldest friends, and hopes she understands you.

You try and tell her everything. That you’re trans, and you think she might be too. That you like her, and that maybe, once this is all over, you can go on a date and see how you feel, that’s what normal people do right? Normal kids go on dates and hang out and don’t fill their blood with dark ichor and stare screaming into the wide emptiness of space, they see a girl they like and they tell her they like her and that she is a girl probably and that they would like to go out with her, right? And that you’re sorry her dad is gone, and you know they had their problems, but he seemed like a nice guy, and you are so, so sorry. Black tears drip down and sizzle on the tile below as you tell her everything. Tell her that you’re scared, that you followed the instructions of a terrible man and you’re scared that you made the wrong choice, but you’re too far gone.

You’re too far gone.

And you’re sorry.

June stares back at you, her mouth slightly open. You hope beyond hope she understands you. She starts to respond.

JUNE: um.
JUNE: oh wow rose!
JUNE: i did not know you felt that strongly about me!
JUNE: um.
JUNE: can i have some time to think it over? i feel like we’re a bit young to get married, haha.

You sigh. You failed. You shake your head gently, and with one last squeeze, let go of her hand, and head up the stairs. She follows you silently, up to the rooftop, where your quarry awaits. The beast stares you down, not so much as a smile as he stands over the corpses of your mother and June’s father. You watch as June looks down, her eyes going wide. She starts hyperventilating, then looks to Jack, and you see something you’ve never seen in her eyes: pure fury. Some of the dark light that pools around your feet creeps over to her like cracks over the battlements, as she draws her hammer, a bright, garish thing to contrast her tear-stained darkening face. You wish you could go over and comfort her, to let her know that you feel the same pain. But you can’t. Two against one is an opportunity too good to pass up. You raise your needles, charging up a wave of pure darkness, when Jack Noir teleports out of view. You don’t know where he is until a second later, when you hear the crunch of a sword bursting through ribs. You turn to see June impaled through the chest. Jack slides the sword out cleanly and efficiently, flicking her blood off the blade as she collapses to the ground.

Your fury surrounds you in dark fire. The roof explodes underneath you as a vast howl echoes through Skaia. You fly at him fast enough to crack the sound barrier as he just barely blocks your needles with his sword. He teleports behind you, but you duck his swing just in time, blasting him a way with an eldritch beam.

You fight in a way that is at once desperate and automatic. From the moment you start, you know what’s going to happen. You cannot win this fight. It was foolish of you to try, the desperate lashing out of a young girl in a terrible situation. He’s just that one step ahead of you, just a second too slow as the cuts and bruises pile up, millimeters away from slashes and broken bones. You hate the fact that even in a moment of the worst grief and pain you’ve ever experienced, you’re still thinking. As if your brain can’t just feel emotion a moment without narrating it. Your mother just died. Your best friend just died. And still your brain just will not SHUT THE HELL UP.

You say a quick apology to your older self. You couldn’t do it, and now your efforts have led you into a dead timeline. Maybe if you had just told June to leave, not held onto her stubbornly, like she was the one last grip you had on reality, your one handhold as the void in the sky threatens to send you careening into endless oblivion. Maybe then she would have lived. You would have died, but the hero would have lived. But it’s too late for all of that now.

Jack stabs you straight in the stomach, piercing the sash that Kanaya had made you. You didn’t get to really say goodbye to her as well. Chalk it up to two failures for hubris. You lose your grip on the powers of the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors, and you fall to the ground, dead.

>Heir: Rise
>HEIR: RISE
>H E I R: R I S E

You gasp awake, clutching onto your chest. You don’t feel any blood, nor do you feel the cold feeling of a sword piercing your heart. You sit there, almost feeling relief, until you see the scene around you, and remember why you’re here. You see...

Dad. You were so sure you were going to get to see him again. You missed him so much, and there’s so much you wanted to say that you never realized you had to say. You start crying, and then you see a body that wasn’t there before.

JOHN: rose?
JOHN: oh no no no no rose!

You rush over to her body, laying in a pool of blood, pierced through the stomach. You look around wildly, but you don’t see Jack anywhere near. You just have to sit here, with the body of your dad and your best friend. You notice, oddly, that her hubtopband is beeping. Looks like she has someone pestering her.

You wipe your eyes and scan through her last pesterlog. It’s Vriska. You think back briefly, for no reason at all, to the time that she sent you a dress to wear. It was kind of nice? But also, absolutely mortifying and absolutely not relevant in any way.

You read back through the texts, and it looks like she’s texting you through Rose’s account. It looks like Vriska is planning to go fight Jack? And she might not come back. You feel bad, and conflicted. From what it sounds like, she’s done a lot of bad things, but you still don’t want her to die. And if Rose couldn’t beat Jack, you aren’t sure Vriska could either.

And she wants you to...

Uh.

She wants you to kiss Rose.

You look over at Rose. A bit of blood is leaking from her lips. You think back to her emphatic reaction to you saying that Karkat had said that you two were going to get married. If you were being honest, you still had no idea what she was saying to you. And you probably shouldn’t be thinking about this! But, if you don’t kiss her, she’ll die, so.

JOHN: sorry rose!

You lean down to kiss her and...

I mean it’s not pleasant. You’re kissing the corpse of your friend, her lips are covered in blood, it’s cold and it kind of tingles, like little static shocks across her lips. She isn’t moving and it just feels wrong.

But. It does occur to you that this is your first kiss. With Rose. And maybe you wouldn’t mind doing it again.

No, that’s such a weird thought to have! You resolve to push all these feelings down and never bring them up again.

You stand up and wipe the blood off your lips, letting out a small bluh, as you start getting messages from Karkat. With luck, Rose is still alive out there. In the meantime, you have work to do. You take one last look at her body and fly off toward LOHAC.

You sit in your room on Derse’s moon, watching as the surface of the main planet slowly shrinks from view. It’s an oddly pretty view out in here. You can just vaguely see the shifting, gibbering horrors that had not long ago taken root in your mind, and there’s an odd comfort to knowing what they’re saying. It seems even monstrosities and gods have their concerns. You certainly do, though putting yourself on the level of a god seems a bit narcissistic.

You went overboard and ruined your entire plan. You followed your heart instead of your brain for once, and it got you stabbed and down one life. So now, the mission you didn’t intend to be a suicide mission is now a suicide mission, and the only way you could reduce the body count was making sure your brother was asleep for it. That’s one thing you don’t feel bad about. You hurt the people around you, and the only way for you to not hurt anyone else was for you to make sure they stay as far away as possible. But, as much as you hate to admit it, you have a couple of calls to make. Or chats to be more accurate.

TT: Hi, Jade.
TT: So, you were right.
TT: Not about listening to Scratch, he’s a creep, but I should have been more cautious. I should have listened to you. And I’m sorry.
TT: This is goodbye, just to get ahead of things. I don’t know when I’ll be arriving at the Green Sun, but I know it will be soon.
TT: And I just wanted to say thank you. For being my friend.
TT: And to ask you one last favor. Which you are obligated to do since this absolutely counts as my dying wish.
TT: And this is going to be a complicated request, so strap in.
GG: rose, you dont have to do this :(
GG: im sure we can find another way to make this work!
TT: I’ve run the numbers, Jade. This is it for me.
GG: rose i dont like how resigned to this you sound!
GG: there has to be something! maybe if i used the appearifier on you just before the bomb goes off?
TT: You’re welcome to try, Jade. But we both know what we’ve seen.
GG: i havent seen anything!
TT: Exactly. Neither of us prognosticators have managed to snatch a single bit of information about what is going to happen next from our abilities.
TT: Even with help from a supposedly omniscient perv.
GG: but that doesnt mean anything! john’s started the scratch, maybe no one can see past it!
TT: So Egbert is alive, thank goodness.
GG: what does that mean, of course johns alive? and why are you calling him by his last name that’s really weird!
TT: Well, the last time I saw him, he was bleeding out on the ground after Jack stabbed him. I then proceeded to get killed by Jack, ending up in this situation we are in now.
GG: sgjJsfsd
GG: r3fe3r4dcfewqrd,,d,.
TT: Jade?
GG: ugh, sorry, im dealing with something over here!!
TT: Jade.
TT: Please do not tell me that Jack Noir is there with you.
GG: uhhhhhhhh
GG: okay i wont!
TT: Jade.
GG: okay hes here, but hes not doing anything bad!
TT: At the moment.
GG: sigh!
GG: okay i am pretty pissed off at him for killing my friends!
GG: ill hit him with a newspaper a couple of times.
GG: ugghhhh why does he have to be so friendly to me? i know hes part bec but it almost feels worse to have him not doing anything!
TT: Well I’m very sorry he can’t stab you through the abdomen like me and John.
TT: It was a wonderful experience, I’m giving him five stars on yelp.
TT: “The cold steel puncturing my organs was exquisite, and I have to say, the attention to detail of letting me fall right next to the bodies of my mother and my friend were definitely noticed! Ten out of ten, would get murdered again.”
GG: jeez youre ornery today!
TT: Jade. This day has consisted of our entire race getting wiped out, our dead guardian count going from ¼ to 4/4, and will likely end with me blowing up.
TT: One could say I’m a little peeved.
GG: sorry, point taken :(
GG: well, im not going to stop trying to save you, im sure i can think of something!
TT: If anyone can, it’s you. You were always the one to hold all the braincells out of all of us.
TT: Whereas I mostly made mine from paper mache of old psychology textbooks shaped into phalluses.
GG: dont sell yourself short! but ill try to think of something.
GG: but! of course im still willing to do a favor for you :)
GG: so what is it?
TT: Okay, this will take a bit of explaining. Do you remember how I told you that I am transgender?
GG: yeah! thanks again for trusting me with that, by the way!
TT: It’s no problem. I took a guarded risk and was well rewarded. I hadn’t expected you to be quite so well-informed.
GG: hehe, there were a lot of trans people on the furry messageboards!
TT: Ah, furries, truly the glorious bastion of our species.
TT: The desire to transcend the human flesh and become a blue fox with an undercut.
TT: May we all one day join their illustrious ranks, and be somehow more progressive and wealthier than the average human being, creating a paradox and a furry singularity so strong it sucks the entirety of Earth into it like a black hole.
GG: rose, you know i would help you develop a fursona if you wanted! it could even be a cat! i know you like cats :)
TT: That, Jade, is a blatant stereotype. Just because I’m a trans girl doesn’t mean I want to be a catgirl.
TT: Maybe I want to be an anomalocaris girl. Glomping people with my barbs and promptly eviscerating them.
GG: well i support you either way! but you and dave both have really weird fursonas.
TT: Interesting. Dave has a fursona?
GG: ummmm.
GG: he asked me not to tell you! but i guess the...
GG:
GG:
TT: You can do this Jade, stick the landing.
GG: cats out of the bag!
TT: And the crowd goes wild, Dave Strider forever humiliated at being revealed as a catgirl. Slinking out of the stadium with his tail between his legs, sad ears drooping.
GG: i mean, his fursona wasnt a girl!
TT: Yet.
TT: But I shouldn’t overpsychoanalyze, I should stick to one closet case at a time.
GG: at a time? what do you mean rose?
TT: So, my request.
TT: Involves the other member of our friend group.
TT: Your sibling.
GG: you mean john? rose, why are you talking like that?
GG: wait :0
GG: you mean?
TT: Yes.
TT: Congratulations Harley, you have a sister.
GG: oh my gosh!!!
GG: rose, she hasn’t told me, should you be telling me this?
TT: Well, that’s the difficult thing, and why I need to call in a favor.
TT: She doesn’t know yet.
TT: That she’s a girl.
GG: wait, then how do you know?
TT: Let’s just say I had some outsider information. Not from Scratch this time, luckily. From a much more reliable source.
GG: rose, was it the horrorterrors? did the horrorterrors tell you that john is a girl? im still not sure you should trust them!
TT: No, it was not the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors.
TT: I am not presently at liberty to discuss who this person is.
GG: was it a version of yourself from the future?
TT: ...
TT: I choose not to answer that.
GG: ha! then that proves my point!
TT: What point?
GG: that you are gonna survive this!
GG: if your future self was alive enough to come back and tell you that stuff, then that means that youll live to see it too, right?
TT: I.
TT: Hm.
TT: Maybe you’re right.
GG: yes! i knew it!
TT: Sigh. Yes, I suppose so. Your relentless optimism once again reigns supreme.
TT: But either way, this is important.
TT: So, John is transgender. She doesn’t know it yet, but I was informed by my older self that her coming to realize that is important to ensuring a better future for everyone.
GG: which includes you!
TT: Which would in an ideal scenario that we can hope for, include me.
TT: I have been attempting to get her to come out and realize who she is, but like I’ve said, this has been an incredibly busy day, and I have had limited time in which to do so.
TT: And given I might soon be out of commission; I am asking you to take up the mantle.
GG: um, rose, i know this is your “final request”
GG: but are you sure? i mean, im not trans.
TT: Normally, I would like to do this myself, but extenuating circumstances. Plus, I trust you.
GG: aw, thanks rose :)
GG: well, ill do my best!
TT: And just in case I’ll send you some resources on what to do, and various transgender topics if she ends up asking.
tentacleTherapist [TT] sent transresources.zip (500 TB)
TT: I assure you that it’s comprehensive.
TT: Jade? Are you there?
GG: oh yeah, sorry! trying to download it lagged my computer, ive set it now though!
GG: anyways, you can count on me! john will be a girl before you know it! ö7
TT: I appreciate it. The favor and also the attempt at ears on that emoticon.
GG: oh shoot i just realized i dont know what her name is going to be!
TT: Hm.
TT: I think I’m going to withhold that for now, in case she chooses another one. Maybe I’ve been imposing my will over her a little too strongly.
TT: If you need to use something in your mind, just J should work.
GG: gotcha! oh, karkats texting me, im gonna answer him and then ill see you
GG: soon!!! because im gonna find a way to rescue you! <3<3<3
TT: Swoon, my hero.

You feel your spirits slightly lift after that conversation. Jade’s optimism has a way of getting to you, and you feel the slightest tinge of hope on the horizon. Maybe you don’t have to die here. But enough of that self-improvement junk, you have another conversation to get to.

TT: Hello, John.
TT: I hope you aren’t too busy.
EB: rose!!!! oh thank god you are alive!
TT: Yes, thanks to you I’m in my dream self right now.
EB: hehe, sorry about that by the way!
TT: Sorry about what?
EB: um, rose, do you know how i had to revive you?
TT: I am aware, yes. Though I have to admit it slipped my mind a bit while I was in the throes.
TT: So yes, I know that you had to kiss me.
EB: well, um, sorry! i feel like i should say it because i did it without asking!
TT: John. You literally revived me back from death after a very foolish miscalculation.
TT: From now on, if it revives me, you have full permission to make out with my corpse.
EB: ew rose! that’s gross don’t say it like that!
TT: Squicked out by a little cadaver-smooching?
EB: yes! basically any normal person would be! you are so weird sometimes!
EB: any ways, i think that only works one time, so i shouldn’t have to do it again!
TT: Was kissing me really such a terrible experience?
EB: rose.
EB: THERE WAS BLOOD! ON YOUR LIPS!! IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!!!!!!!!
TT: I’m joking, John. It’s just good to be able to mess with you again.
TT: But I guess I should return the apology.
TT: I’m sorry for getting us both killed.
EB: what? rose you did not get me killed! jack did it!
TT: Jack can hardly be assumed to be a conscious actor anymore. He’s closer to a game construct than a person. I was the one who dragged you through that castle to see our parents, only for you to get backstabbed.
EB: rose, i followed you because i wanted to! i was the one who got me stabbed!
EB: but anyways, it doesn’t matter because we are fine! we’re both alive and soon we’re gonna be getting out of here!
TT: John.
TT: I’m not going to be coming back.
TT: I’m texting you now to say goodbye.
EB: ...
EB: haha, good one rose! you almost got me with that one for a second!
EB: i’ll see you when i am done scratching the session, okay?
TT:
TT: Sigh. I guess I can’t pass one by you, can I?
TT: Goodbye, Egbert.
EB: bye rose! :B

Fuck you feel bad about that. You just didn’t have the heart to tell her, not after she had lost so much in a day. Or, you were just a coward. You feel yourself starting to cry. A tiny piece of you breaks, and you just start sobbing.

You don’t want to die. You want to live, and see June, and Jade, and Kanaya and yes even Dave. You want your friends to be okay, and you want to be with them. You’re out of bitter rage and nihilism, and all you have in the tank is sorrow.

And it does occur to you that it will probably hurt June even more when she realizes you aren’t coming back. You go back to her chat window, then close it. No need to trouble her any more. You’ll just make her feel worse. And that Harleybert optimism is starting to get to you. Maybe you’ll get out of this okay. Maybe Jade’s plan will work.

Or maybe you’ll explode. Even shot.

Alright. Last one. You have a feeling you’ll be saying your goodbyes to Dave soon, as you approach a dream bubble, so you open your laptop and start pestering Kanaya.

TT: Hello Kanaya.
GA: Oh Rose
GA: Have You Decided Against Fulfilling The Whims Of Dark Beings From The Furthest Ring
TT: No, I’m afraid we’re past that now.
TT: And I wanted to say, you were right.
GA: So What Is Going On Right Now
GA: Everything Happened So Fast Over Here And I Still Cannot See You
TT: Well, I am alive. For now, at least.
TT: My dream self is.
TT: I hope you don’t mind if I drop my mask of pretentiousness right now and talk with you frankly.
GA: I Would Prefer It Actually
TT: Thank you.
TT: The truth is that I’m scared. I don’t want to die. After I made the pact with the Horrorterrors, I went off the rails. My mother had been killed, and I went off to take my revenge. For my troubles, I got June and myself stabbed.
TT: She’s fine, by the way. She made it to god tier.
GA: I Was Going To Ask
GA: But I Am Glad Shes Fine
TT: I think you were right Kanaya. I’m dangerous. I hurt the people around me, and I’m dangerous to myself. My only saving grace at the moment is that Dave is asleep back on Derse.
GA: Rose
GA: I Think I Am A Very Poor Judge Of Whether Or Not Someone Is Dangerous
TT: But you were right! The first thing I did when I got a hint of power was immediately resort to violence!
GA: Against Someone Who Had Murdered Your Lusus
GA: And Also While You Were Being Possessed By Eldritch Gods
GA: For Those Circumstances That Seems Pretty Normal
TT: But!
GA: Rose
GA: Do You Remember The Wizard I Was Talking To You About
TT: The one who was spouting rivalic overtures at me? Yes I do remember him, why?
GA: The Wand I Gave Him
GA: He Used It To Kill One Of My Friends
GA: And Then He Used It To Kill Me And Destroy Any Hope Of Reviving My Race
GA: I Should Have Seen The Signs Coming
GA: I Thought His Hemoist Screeds Were Something He Would Grow Out Of
GA: I Did Not Even Think Of What He Could Do
TT: Fuck.
TT: Fuck not you too.
TT: This is all my fault! I’m the reason he wanted that wand in the first place!
TT: Why do I have to ruin everything!
GA: Rose
GA: I Will Not Allow You To Lambaste Yourself For Something Which You Are At Best A Tangential Cause Of
GA: Eridan Did What He Did And Now We Have To Live With It
GA: And I Am Fine
GA: Well Not Fine At All But I Am Alive
GA: He Is Not By The Way I Made Sure Of That
TT: How are you alive? I thought that your dream selves were gone!
GA: Well I
GA: Honestly I Am Not Sure How It Happened But It Just Did
GA: I Turned Into A Rainbow Drinker
TT: Oh? Isn’t that your troll equivalent to a vampire?
GA: Yes
TT: Well I’d love to know more about this development, but please, continue.
GA: The Point Is
GA: Rose You Are Not At Fault For Everything Bad That Happens
GA: Sometimes Bad People Do Bad Things For Bad Reasons
GA: Or Any Combination Of Eventualities
GA: And It Is Not The Fault Of One Singular Human Girl
GA: Half Of My Friends Are Dead At This Point And I Am Pretty Sure None Of That Is Your Fault
TT: Fuck.
TT: I’m sorry. I’m making this all about me.
TT: What about you, are you safe?
GA: Relatively
GA: I Think Things Have Calmed Down In A Relative Sense Thanks To Karkat
GA: I Never Knew He Was So Effective In The Pale Quadrant
GA: If It Was Not For Him I Would Be Murdering That Clown Right Now Though
TT: Clown?
GA: He Has Likely Killed Several Of Our Friends
GA: He Is A Sick Freak No One Realized Was Dangerous Until Very Recently
GA: Yet Another Lack Of Insight On My Part
GA: I Think I Am Just Not Great With People
GA: And I Try To Meddle In Their Lives So I Will Get Better At It
GA: But It Has Not Worked Out Yet
TT: ...
TT: I think I can relate to that. We should start a club.
GA: Ah Yes The Bad At Talking And Relating To Others Club
GA: Where We Sit On Loungeplanks And Stare At Each Other For Hours While Basically Talking To Ourselves
GA: Then We Shake Hands And Go Home To Do The Same Thing Not In The Company Of Others
TT: You’re joking, but I wouldn’t mind it.
GA: Well If You Survive This Ordeal
GA: And We Meet Up
GA: Then We Can Make This Club A Reality
TT: So you believe that I can survive this too? What is with girls believing in false things and giving me hope today?
GA: Maybe People Care About You
GA: Just A Thought
TT:
TT: Maybe.
TT: Goodbye Kanaya. I’ll see you soon, I hope.
GA: Goodbye Rose

You close your laptop and face forward, straight towards the approaching dream bubble. As you do, you hear a noise in the back of your head.

SEER

The hair raises on the back of your neck. You know what this is. The Horrorterrors have come a-calling. The fact that they can now speak to you directly, rather than just in vague whispers over Derse, chills you to your core.

ROSE: Yes?

A PACT HAS BEEN MADE
AND YOUR DEBT WILL BE PAID

You feel a shiver run down your spine.

ROSE: The pact I made under extreme duress, I assume. And repaid how?

THE PACT WAS MADE WHEN YOU TOOK OUR FORM, WHEN YOU OPENED THE DOOR TO LET US IN
AND THE DOOR WILL NOT CLOSE UNTIL THE PACT IS FULFILLED
WE GAVE YOU POWER BEYOND POWER AND SIGHT BEYOND SIGHT
AND IN TURN, YOU WILL SERVE US

ROSE: I get your point. But I’m afraid I’m on my way towards an untimely demise, so you’ll have to make this request quick.

SEER
YOUR DEATH WILL NOT BE HERE
A PACT WITH THE NOBLE CIRCLE OF HORRORTERRORS IS NOT SO EASILY BROKEN BY DEATH
HOWEVER, IF YOU WERE TO DIE, ANOTHER COULD FULFILL THE PACT IN YOUR STEAD

ROSE: Alright. I’m listening.

NOT NOW
ONE DAY WE WILL CALL UPON YOU TO FULFILL YOUR SERVICE TO US
SIMPLY WAIT FOR OUR COMMAND
AND DO NOT THINK YOU CAN GET OUT OF THIS SO EASILY AS DISOBEDIENCE.

You feel a twinge of pain under your eye. You run your finger across your lower lid and feel your veins protruding, pulsing frantically.

ONE FAVOR, AND WE WILL RELEASE YOU

DISOBEY, AND BE OURS FOR ETERNITY

ROSE: Okay. I’ll do as you ask. No need to insist.

A great rumbling arises around you. The void laughs.

YOU WILL DO GREAT THINGS SEER
AWAKEN THE HEIR
READ THE UNREADABLE
AND WE WILL CALL UPON YOU WHEN YOU ARE NEEDED
KEEP YOURSELF SHARP
A TOOL LEFT IN THE DRAWER TO RUST IS FIT FOR THE GRINDER

With that, the voice recedes from your mind, and you plow into the dream bubble to have a conversation with your brother.

You will not die today. Despite being scared to your core, you think you can still survive. Maybe. You just need to figure out how.
And if you survive, it means you can see June and Kanaya again. That thought, you think, is worth staying alive for.

jade...
hm?
i think i just realized something.
what?

J: THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS!!!

You are sitting in the living room of your sibling’s house. It’s their birthday today, and J’s really wanted to watch Con Air with you for a while. But it really seems like they are not having as great of a time as you had hoped. You've spent nearly two years on this ship with them, and lately they’ve been in one of their MOODS.

JADE: whaaat
JADE: but you love this movie!
J: yeah, i know.
J: i mean... i thought i did.
J: it's been kind of a long time since i last saw it. i really remember it being a lot better than this!
J: but now everything just seems so cheesy and stupid.

You’ve had a particularly tough time with them lately. It’s tough being stuck on one ship for so long with so few other people for company, but J is taking it especially hard. You’re fairly used to the isolation from your years of living alone, but J isn’t. And also, you had Davesprite! Or at least you did for a while. Your mood dims a bit more. You don’t know why he broke up with you, it just felt so out of the blue.

But back to the topic at hand, you had hoped that watching their favorite movie would cheer them up a bit. Who knows? Maybe even get them to open up, talk about themself! Anything really! You were trying so hard for Rose, but this hatching stuff was really tough work! And it was even worse because...

If you’re honest, you don’t really know how to be a girl? Which is a weird statement because you are one, but more in like, the traditional way? You’ve never painted your nails or done makeup and you really don’t shave, because what’s the point when you live alone on an island! You’re going to sweat and dig in the dirt, and it’ll all just get smudged and chipped anyways! You were raised by your granddad, who was a sweet man, but he did not understand women outside of his beauties whatsoever! Most of your ideas of femininity come from kids cartoons and people online!

The point is that you’re bad at this. And J just isn’t a very open person! Maybe it’s because you spent years talking with them over the internet instead of in-person, but they really don’t talk about their feelings a lot besides vague statements! It’s honestly really frustrating! And now they don’t even like the movie they said they liked! It’s really hard not to get a little pissed at them! It’s been two years on this stupid ship, and they still won’t open up!

JADE: but you were making such a big deal about finally getting me to watch it with you on your birthday!
JADE: you were going on and on about how i wouldnt be disappointed... but now youre saying you dont like it?
J: i don't know. i'm trying to like it. i WANT to like it.
J: i want to feel the same magic that was there all the other times i watched it.
J: but i can't, because...
J: it's just...
J: not...
J: good. :(
JADE: really?
JADE: i was actually kind of enjoying it!
JADE: its very silly
JADE: i really dont think its the kind of movie youre supposed to take all that seriously john
J: but i DID take it seriously!!!
J: i guess maybe that's kind of the point.
J: i always thought all this hokey bullshit was legitimately awesome and compelling.
J: what was i even thinking!

Okay. That’s a good question. What were they thinking? Calm down Jade, you see a prime opportunity here for the premium-quality introspection you’ve been looking for! Or really, bargain bin introspection, this is a Nicolas Cage film you’re talking about.

JADE: i dont know
JADE: what did you like about it? like what really drew you to it?
J: ...i don’t know! i guess i thought it was really cool hearing nick cage do his cornball accent!
JADE: so you thought that nick cage was cool?
J: yeah! good grief like he’s still my hero and all.
J: but he acts SO LAME in this movie!!!
J: but back then i thought his hokey shit was badass! like, he did went through all that, and at the end, all he wanted was to be with his wife and daughter!
J: but it is just so stilted and bad!
JADE: so you thought he was a hero?
J: yeah! like, i think...
J: never mind, this is dumb, let’s just watch this stupid movie!
JADE: no!!!
J: what do you mean no? i thought you were liking it!

Shoot. You need to be more subtle. You’re just desperate, they almost never open up to you, and the keep doing that THING where they almost say something but then criticize themself and completely shut down!

JADE: i mean, ill listen, i dont think what you have to say is dumb!!!
JADE: plus its your birthday so im legally obligated to listen to my brother! :P
J:
J: *SIGH*
J: i think i wished my dad was a little more like him.
J: which is kind of a shitty thing to say because my dad was great!
J: i think i just wanted this scenario in which, i don’t know, he was someone a little more rough around the edges?
J: not just some guy that baked cakes and lied about being a street performer! my dad's big secret was that he was normal! wow, what a shocking twist! is this the sixth sense? am i actually a ghost? nope, my dad just works in an office!
J: but that’s a shitty thing to think. sorry.
JADE: i mean, i dont think youre wrong for feeling things john!
JADE: but does that mean that you wanted to be like casey?
J: yeah i guess i did haha!
J: like, just to have a dad that showed his affection in that way!
J: thats actually how casey that salamander got her name! i was being silly and acting out a scene from the movie! though i guess in that scenario i was cameron, and not casey.
JADE: so you wanted to be nick cages daughter?
J:
J:
J: um
J:
J: i mean, not specifically his daughter! but like, i do like the name casey! and it’s a guys name too so.
J: like it’d be okay! like if i wanted it to be mine!

Okay. Okay you’re making progress. You can feel yourself getting excited, but try to proceed cautiously.

JADE: want me to call you casey then?
J: pppbbfffff
J: jade i can’t just change my name! that’d be silly!
J: you have to go through all sorts of laws and i think sit in front of a judge? i googled it once, it sounds like a pain!
JADE: john, there arent any judges left! they all died on earth!
JADE: there may have been one in the game but i think he died too, poor guy :(
JADE: why not change your name if you want to? who gives a crap?
J:
J: hehe, um.
J: i mean i think i wouldn’t want it to be casey either way.
J: i think that would get confusing if we had two caseys.
J: we already have two daves that’s more than enough people with the same names for me!
JADE: so, if you could have any name, what would it be?
J: ummmm.
J: haha, i can’t really think of any right now! like i am just going through all the guy names i know, and i can’t find one that i like!
J: john is a really boring name though.
JADE: hmmmm

Thin ice, Harley. You know you’re close now, but be careful.

JADE: are there any girls names you would like?
J: haha, jade I’m not a girl!
JADE: so?
JADE: like, no ones gonna judge you if you wanna pick a girl name.
J: heh, what, like june?
JADE: yeah, why not? thats a nice name!
JADE: why that specifically though?
J:
J: i mean it was just something vriska called me one time!
J: well i guess i called myself that name!
J: but. um.
J: like, won’t dave sprite judge me? that guy can be kind of an asshole sometimes!
J: where is he by the way? what a jerk, flaking out on my birthday!

You cringe. You really didn’t want to bring this up on J’s big day, especially not now that you feel you’re getting really close to a breakthrough! But you had to bring it up sometime. It'll be okay, just drop the news casually and get back to dealing with J’s problem!

JADE: john i dont think davesprite is coming.
J: what? why not?
JADE: he uh...
JADE: kind of broke up with me
J: what!!!
J: when did that happen?
JADE: a couple days ago
J: no. no way.
J: i cannot accept this!

They stand up from the couch and start ranting about how you two were an institution on this ship, how you were the whole thing holding this place together, when you notice something. Underneath their hood, there’s a piece of paper taped to their back.

JADE: john...
J: what?
JADE: under your hood...
JADE: looks like a piece of paper stuck to your back?
J: huh?

They take it up and read it, and their face starts to twist up in anger.

J: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!
J: THAT BASTARD!!!
JADE: what?
J: THIS IS TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS.
JADE: what is it??
J: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.
J: IT IS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW!!!
J: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!
JADE: where are you going?
J: I'M GOING TO GO KICK HIS ASS!
JADE: what! john, no...
J: POSING AS MY DEAD FATHER BY MIMICKING ONE OF HIS GREAT FATHERLY NOTES HE USED TO HIDE AROUND THE HOUSE???
J: AND ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY HE WAS SLAIN BY JACK NOIR, A *FACT* OF WHICH THAT CHEEKY ORANGE ASSHOLE IS PLAINLY AWARE??????
J: THIS IS A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR DAVE SPRITE!
J: OH AND HE JUST HAD TO MOCK THAT I’M GETTING A MUSTACHE, WHICH I TOLD HIM!!! IN CONFIDENCE!!!! THAT I HATE!!!!!

You walk up to them and grab their arm before they storm out the door.

JADE: john wait!
J: WHAT??
JADE: sigh
JADE: look davesprite was being a total asshole, but i dont think its a good idea to go try and kick his ass!
JADE: first of all hes really tough to beat
JADE: and second hes just gonna think its funny to constantly fly away and hide from you until you tire yourself out!!
JADE: dont take the bait john!!!
JADE: im warning you about the dares!!

They tense, their hand on the doorknob. They let go, and let out a little snicker before their face falls again.

J: sigh
J: fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

They go and sit back on the couch, grumpily folding their arms. You sit down next to them. You grin a little.

JADE: plus, if davesprites not here
JADE: we can shit talk him all we want >:)

They laugh.

J: okay, i think you have won me over with petty shit talk.
JADE: i can be petty when i want to!
JADE: and right now, i reaaallly want to!
JADE: like, who does that? play that sort of nasty joke on your birthday? god hes just been kind of an asshole lately!
JADE: oh, and if he does ever give you trouble for changing your name, ill just beat him up! >:)
J: wait, i thought you said that we shouldn’t try to fight him!
JADE: no, i said you shouldnt try to fight him!
JADE: youre the wind, and birds fly on the wind! so bird beats air, but dog beats bird!
J: oh i get it! so, bird beats air, dog beats bird, then air beats dog, right?
JADE: no, dogs are largely indifferent to air!
J: what!? that is totally overpowered, no fair!
JADE: well tough! i beat everyone on this ship!
J: dang it! so do i beat anyone on this ship?
JADE: hmmmmm
JADE: nope!
J: hey!!! D:<
J: hehe.
J: but um.
J: you wouldnt think it was weird if i changed my name?
JADE: nope! if anything, i would think you were cooler!
J: okay then.
J: maybe i’ll try out...
JUNE: june?
JADE: hell yes june! june you have a great name, have i mentioned that!
JADE: also june just kind of feels like a really you name!
JUNE: hehehehe!
JUNE: okay, i think i do kind of like it!
JUNE: *sniff*
JUNE: um, jade?
JADE: yeah june?
JUNE: do you mind if i hug you?
JADE: of course not, dummy!

You wrap your arms around her, and feel her cry just a little into your shoulder. She sniffs and pulls back, smiling and wiping a tear from behind her glasses.

JUNE: jade, you are a really cool sister, you know that? i’m really glad i got to meet you!
JADE: awwww, june!
JADE: youre really cool too!
JADE: i always wanted siblings growing up, i just didnt know that i had such a cool one!

June beams at that and settles back into the couch. You’ve succeeded at least in getting her name, but the gender thing is still up in the air. You choose your angle of attack carefully.

JADE: so, i know this was supposed to be a private thing, so feel free to not answer if you dont want!
JADE: but you were saying that you hate having a mustache?

She looks a bit uncomfortable, but she nods.

JUNE: uh, yeah.
JUNE: it just feels like.
JUNE: okay but you can’t make fun of me it’s my birthday okay?
JADE: june i promise i will not make fun of you! even if it wasnt your birthday!
JUNE: okay.
JUNE: it feels like im getting older without actually growing.
JUNE: like my body is going “oh here’s a mustache, go and be a big, strong man now,” and my brain is still stuck!
JUNE: we’ve been on this ship for so long, it feels like i’ve had a stunted growth!
JUNE: like i should be in school or something but that’s long gone, and all that we can do here is just.
JUNE: wait!!!
JADE: ...
JADE: im really sorry about that june.
JADE: i dont know if i know entirely how you feel. i practically raised myself since i was really little! i spent so much time on my own that i had to learn how to do things myself, or they wouldnt get done!
JADE: the only thing i was training for was sburb. and now i dont even know whats going to happen to us once we get to the other side!
JADE: but.
JADE: june i dont think you have to be anything you dont want to be!
JADE: if we win at the end and make a new universe, you dont have to like, go to college or be a dad or strong or anything!
JADE: you dont even have to be a boy if you dont want to!
JUNE: haha, how would that even work? like if sburb glitches out and turns me into a girl?
JADE: june? do you know about trangender people?
JUNE: uhhh, no? i don’t think so.
JUNE: is that like a transexual?
JADE: some of them use that term yes, but the point is, they are people who didnt like the gender they were given at birth and decided to be another one!
JUNE:
JUNE: you can just do that???
JUNE: like, aren’t there like, rules and procedures?
JADE: june we just had this conversation!
JADE: there are no rules anymore! if you want to change your gender then you can!
JUNE: but like.
JUNE: i mean i don’t know anyone who is, what was it? trans gender?
JUNE: like, how would that work?

This was it. The nuclear option. Rose has stipulated that, if it would help June out, you could disclose her identity. And if there was ever a time to use it, it was now.

JADE: um, actually, you do know someone.
JUNE: what?!? who?
JUNE: jade is it you!
JADE: no its not me!
JADE: its rose!
JUNE: WHAT???

She sits there with her head in her hands, looking like her thoughts are going a mile a minute. She looks at you and starts to sputter.

JUNE: but
JUNE: that’s
JUNE: i mean rose is!!!
JADE: june
JADE: think very carefully about what youre about to say or i will bite you!! >:P
JUNE: i mean it’s just
JUNE: no wait you are right that would be super rude.
JUNE: i was just going to say that rose is really pretty and!
JADE: you think rose is pretty? :D
JUNE: WAIT, no i meant!
JADE: oooooooh, june has a crush on rooo-oooose!
JADE: did karkats shipping chart finally get to you?
JUNE: that is NOT what i meant!!!!!
JUNE: i just, like!
JUNE: if i was like, picturing myself turning into a girl, i don’t think i’d look...
JUNE: good?
JADE: june, dont beat yourself up! youd be very pretty as a girl!
JADE: i mean we are siblings so we look a lot alike.
JADE: and not to toot my own horn but i think im pretty!
JADE: therefore, so are you!
JUNE:
JUNE: you think so?
JADE: yeah! and if you wanna be a girl, why not try it out?
JADE: and again, if anyone gives you trouble, ill beat them up!!! >:D
JUNE: okay.
JUNE: so, if i just like, say i’m a girl.
JADE: then you are one!
JUNE:
JUNE: okay.
JUNE: i think that i want to try it out. just to like see!
JUNE: so for now, i’m a girl!
JUNE: oh fuck.
JUNE: i’m a girl.

She starts tearing up, and you give your sister a big hug. A wave of relief washes over you. It took you a couple years, but your sister is finally here, right in front of you. You pull away from the hug and look her in the eyes. She’s smiling through her tears, and you almost feel the weight leaving her shoulders.

JADE: june... you know when i said earlier that i always wanted siblings?
JUNE: uhh, yeah?
JADE: well, that was true, but i should have been more specific.
JADE: ive always wanted a sister, june!
JADE: and now i have one!!!
JUNE: hehe, i guess you do!
JUNE: hehehehehehahahahahahaha!!!

She bursts out laughing, a loud, joyful sound that echoes out of the house and into the lands below. Consorts look up as the wind picks up around the tall spire of rock, upon which sits the house of the heir. A swirling, gentle vortex brings up shimmering, tiny teal leaves like a flock of birds, shifting and moving with all the beauty of a single object, comprised of millions of ephemeral fragments. For a brief moment, the clouds above the Egbert household part, and a flicker from the sky above can be seen. But the wind soon dies down, leaving only the pleasant memory of a breeze.

JADE: ...
JADE: june?
JADE: oh she fell asleep.
JADE: well ill just let her rest then! shes had a long day.

You put a blanket over your new sister, and head out for a walk. You have a lot to think about.

JUNE: ...
JUNE: so is that it then?

Once again, you and your companions are seated around the kitchen table, staring into Rose’s orb (phrasing). You have just seen your younger self come out, and it was very sweet and adorable! But now all of you are left with the question of: what now?

ROSE: Are you asking if that should be the end of our involvement?
ROXY: i mean
ROXY: ladies and gentlemen and also me
ROXY: we got er
ROXY: CUE the bass boosted muscic
ROXY: *music
ROXY: and pour the bubbly grape juice
ROXY: no alcohol ofc rosey we gotta keep that shit on LOCK
ROSE: I do agree on that sentiment. But I’m not entirely sure we should just give up here.
JUNE: why not? younger me is finally out, the timeline looks all on track, i think we did it!
TEREZI: JUN3 1T H4S L1T3R4LLY B33N L1K3 F1V3 M1NUT3S
TEREZI: W3 DON’T KNOW Y3T 1F TH3 T1M3L1N3 1S ST1LL FUCK3D OR NOT
TEREZI: WH4T’S TH3 RUSH?
JUNE: no rush! but like, is there any reason for us to keep sticking around like this?
ROSE: Well, I think Terezi is right. We want to make sure this timeline goes better, at least for a little while, and we can hardly do that while we don’t technically exist.
JAKE: Erm i will have to concur! It puts a bit of a crick in the old pan to think about sauntering out of existence when we havent yet seen the dime drop! I say we give it a pass around the block first at least until weve all settled down in the new session!
JUNE: okay! so then can we just skip to that then? i’ll start up the retcon and we can—
ROSE: June. We said at the start of this endeavor that we would take our time with this project. We are taking this step by step because Terezi and I’s seer powers are limited, and so we are doing small jumps chronologically, so we aren’t caught off guard when something goes off the rails. So far all has proceeded largely according to plan.
JUNE: fine! okay, i get it, my plan sucks! again!
JUNE: god dammit, i’m going to go get some rest, i’m getting a headache.

You storm off to your room, feeling pretty pissed! Wasn’t it better to just let your younger selves live their lives than to go on reliving all these memories! Clearly younger June was happier, and it would be better for the whole of June if this older offshoot was to disappear!

ROXY: knock kock
ROXY: *knock
ROXY: juuuuuuuuuuune

You forgot to close the door, dammit. Roxy walks in and sits on the bed. It’s uncanny how much he looks like Dave, with the long-sleeved shirt and the sunglasses. Admittedly, you aren’t sure Dave would have been caught anywhere wearing anything but your gifted Stiller Shades, but the family resemblance is striking.

JUNE: *siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
ROXY: june dont gimme that sign
ROXY: u were bein a total butt in there and we rnt leavin till we talk abt it, k?
JUNE: what is there to talk about? i just want this to be over so we can be in a better timeline!
ROXY: ya but june
ROXY: like u realize that wont be like
ROXY: US in the better timeline rite?
ROXY: like look ill be happy for all the lil teen usses thatll get to live in the most kickass timeline
ROXY: but that aint gonna be us
ROXY: so then
ROXY: what abt us?
JUNE: what do you mean? i’ll just retcon this timeline out
ROXY: june
ROXY: u already did that
ROXY: our timeline, dead friend central? thats gone
ROXY: but we rnt
JUNE: ...
JUNE: i mean
JUNE: i thought we were just going to kind of
JUNE: like, get retconned? like i do the zappy thing then we become like, “part of our greater selves?” whatever that means.
ROXY: yea juney
ROXY: um
ROXY: im not sure if i want that
JUNE: what?!
JUNE: roxy, this timeline is gone! what about callie?
ROXY: yah like
ROXY: june i miss them
ROXY: like so fuckin much u have no idea
ROXY: i mean u probly do they were ur friend and u lost ppl too
ROXY: but
ROXY: june you know what this is right?
JUNE: yeah, i’m trying to fix the timeline!
ROXY: june
ROXY: *this* isnt fixin stuff
ROXY: like the stuff with gettin ur lil self transed is but
ROXY: june
ROXY: what ur talkin about is suicide
JUNE: what?
JUNE: it’s not that! i just!
ROXY: just what june?
ROXY: ur talkin abt makin urself not exist anymore
ROXY: thats suicide june
JUNE:
JUNE: i mean
JUNE: is that a bad thing?
ROXY: holy shit june yes!!!!!
ROXY: i think my friend wantin to kill herself is a pretty bad thing!!!!
ROXY: like june
ROXY: what is this all about?

You look at him and tears well up in your eyes. You grab him in a hug and start crying.

JUNE: i... i don’t know.
JUNE: it just feels like i started too late.
JUNE: like i’m just starting my life and it’s already over.
JUNE: we got stuck in a dead end full of dead friends. the problems we had were far too much to just retcon and replace another conveniently dead june.
JUNE: and so i’m here. hanging onto the torch long enough to pass it to the next june, who can live a much fucking happier life!

Roxy holds you tight, then they let you go and look in your eyes.

ROXY: you know, when i came out, i think felt prty much like that
ROXY: like “oh the most relevant thing i evur did in my life was as a gender that im not anymore”
ROXY: but like
ROXY: that aint a healthy way to think of stuff
ROXY: like i dont think i was like
ROXY: NEARLY down in the dumps as u but
ROXY: june u gotta keep goin
ROXY: you cant just liv in regret

You stay silent for a moment. Roxy pats you on the shoulder.

ROXY: look im not gonna pretend our situations r like
ROXY: totes similar
ROXY: but fuck it us n callie were the only ppl to come out postgame genderways
ROXY: like did i evr tell u why i never asked to like
ROXY: do the same transgenderin stuff to lil me?
JUNE: i... don’t know.
JUNE: i think i was going to ask but i was just too caught up in my own stuff. sorry, i should have asked.
ROXY: nah its ok
ROXY: honestly i dont think i wanna
ROXY: like
ROXY: me comin out was important to me yea! but a lot of it was just sorta letting go of like
ROXY: these expectations i had from a society that was
ROXY: lets face it
ROXY: looooooooong ded even b4 i was born
ROXY: cuz like, it was just me n dirk, and if dirk was a guy then i guessed had 2 b a girl
ROXY: like obvs it was a looooot more than that but
ROXY: i think i kinda preciate the time i had to just think abt it all
ROXY: and also like, the obvs point where we would trans my gender is like
ROXY: durin the game
ROXY: which 4 u was like, 1 day, then 3 years of waitin, then 1 more day
ROXY: 4 me it was just like 6 straight months of teen drama
ROXY: and not 2 brag but i was kinda holdin shit together, n im not sure i could balance that n the whole gender thing at the same time, u kno?
ROXY: so like, idk, i think im cool how i am
ROXY: an again our situations r pretty diffs
ROXY: like obvs im a guy ur a girl
ROXY: can i make it any more obvious WONK
ROXY: jk jk ofc
ROXY: but like, u came out in like
ROXY: THE most high-preshur scenario possible
ROXY: like right when shit was goin DOWN
ROXY: an then its all over n we gotta pick up the pieces
ROXY: so like, still on board for this whole plan, an like even if i wasnt its 2 l8 now
ROXY: cant put that bunny back in the box
ROXY: N E WAY ive been just rambling on 4 like 4ever
ROXY: u ok?
JUNE: ...
JUNE: yeah.
JUNE: i just don’t know what else to do.

He puts a comforting arm around your shoulder.

ROXY: well i kno shits hard right now
ROXY: but one step is to think of what u wanna do after this
ROXY: like obvs im not gonna tell u what to do and not to do
ROXY: but u cant tell me either
ROXY: and im not gonna retcon myself
JUNE: what?
ROXY: u heard me
ROXY: an neither is jake
ROXY: june i was talkin to him earlier
ROXY: hes scared as hell
ROXY: he doesnt wanna die june and i aint gonna make him not exist and u arent gonna make us not exist
ROXY: like idk exactly what well do yet
ROXY: may b just go out to the other side of the planet an live as hermits
ROXY: like if we dont wanna bother our alt-selves i can voidy us out of site
ROXY: just me n jake English livin out in the wild
ROXY: u kno like 16 year ol me would be like *swoon* the DREAM
ROXY: but idk
ROXY: jakes been burned too badly by our friend group, idk if he even like, WANTS romance r stuff
ROXY: an im still like
ROXY: god i miss callie
ROXY: but hes my bro and if he wants a totes platonic cave roomie im his guy
JUNE:
JUNE: roxy i am so sorry. of course i wouldn’t retcon you out of existence if you didn’t want it!
JUNE: i guess i just thought that everyone was thinking the same thing i was.
JUNE: i guess i’ll talk to rose and terezi about it, see what they want.
JUNE: and rox? thank you.

You give him another hug, and he pats you on the back.

ROXY: no prob egbutt
JUNE: and i’ll think on it. what i want to do after this.
JUNE: because i don’t think i want to die right now.

He smiles.

ROXY: good to hear it

You find yourself face down on a cold tile floor. Above you, you hear the wind howling, and as you groan and flip over, you see a familiar scene. You see Rose’s corpse beside you again and start to panic. As you sit up, you see more: the castle you have visited so many times before in your nightmares is suspended on the edge of a vast field of cosmic debris: you see Prospit being absorbed in a green explosion, stardust and nebulas forming before you, and pieces of the shattered battlefield floating skyward. And, most importantly, you see Jack, holding the hammer that Vriska had told you to make long ago, looking at it quizzically.

Your anger flares. Round two, motherfucker.

You punch out with a sustained burst of wind, knocking the hammer out of his hands and sending Jack stumbling. You fly forward and grab the hammer to slam it down on him, but he blocks your blow. You feel more alive this time, dodging his swings and anticipating his teleports. You don’t let up, whirling your hammer around to create vortexes, limiting his flying as you just plow through them. You aren’t the same person you were when you last faced Jack, hell, you have a new name and a new gender? So that’s cool, maybe girls are just better at fighting. You realize that’s kind of dumb, but you think you might be able to beat Davesprite now. And you kind of want to!

Jack grows a pair of tentacles, whipping them out and snatching them around your throat. You grasp and tear at them, but he brings you up to his level. You look him in the eye as he draws that sword that you can sometimes still feel burning cold in your chest, and close your eyes. This is a dream. He can’t hurt you.

You breathe out, and as he goes to stab, the sword passes through you. You dissolve into wind, reform behind him, and raise your hammer to strike.

And then you see Rose, who uh... wow it’s been a long time since you’ve seen her. She’s wearing an orange getup, you guess her god-tier outfit? It looks really pretty on her, and uhhhh is she.

Winking at you? Oh my god she totally is, and oh she doesn’t know you’re a girl yet, does she? You really want to tell her, and also talk about both of you being trans, but she waves goodbye and winks out of the dream. You feel disappointed, you haven’t gotten to see her in any dream bubbles yet, and OH YEAH DISTRACTION you bonk Jack on the head, and the dice in your new Pop-O-Matic Vrillyhoo hammer clatter and spin, and on Jack’s head appears a very silly looking hat. He barks and growls at you, which is honestly just made funnier by the hat. His eyes widen, and he flees. Ha, looks like you really showed him! No wait it was probably just the uhhhhh, white-furred jack behind you? She looks at you briefly, then flies off.

Well, nothing to do now but wander. You almost saw Rose, but now she’s gone, so you may as well just go where the wind takes you!

Sometime later, you find yourself in the middle of a strangely horse-filled desert, arguing with a weird troll over a ring you found in the sand. You’re about to hand it over so he can propose to his girlfriend, when you hear a voice echoing on the wind.

??????: Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaavros!!!!!!!!
TAVROS: oH MY GOD,

You turn around to see an odd troll girl floating in the air. Her outfit, a dark jacket with a black t-shirt, jeans and red sneakers, looks familiar to you.

VRISKA: TAAAAAAAAVR........ Oh!
VRISKA: Hi John.
JUNE: oh, uh, hi!
JUNE: sorry, are you vriska?
VRISKA: Yeah!
VRISKA: Oh, sorry. I really should have introduced myself. I guess I forgot I technically never met this version of you.
JUNE: oh. wait, so since you’re a ghost, that means you’re dead, right?
VRISKA: Yup! Them’s the 8r8ks, John!
JUNE: im. well I’m really sorry about that, i didn’t know you died. :(
JUNE: oh and um, actually, it’s not john anymore. it’s june.
JUNE: i’m, uh, a girl now? i guess?

Vriska stares at you for a moment, and you shrink back internally. You were so caught up in the euphoria and safety of being out to your sister, that you hadn’t considered the negative repercussions of being trans. What if she hates you? I mean, you don’t know how to feel about her after her last messages and two years apart, but you don’t think you want her to hate you!

Vriska stares for a minute longer, then throws up her arms and looks to the sky.

VRISKA: WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: I F8CKIN CALLED IT!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: 8OOYAH EG8ERT GIMME FIVE

You give her a very confused high five. She... called it?

JUNE: um vriska, i’m happy you are cool about this and all but.
JUNE: what do you mean you called it?

She lands on the ground and walks over to you. The troll to your side, who you guess is called Tavros? Has stopped bothering you for the ring for a second.

VRISKA: I mean I can spot an egg from a miiiiiiiile away, June!
VRISKA: And you were the eggiest egg to ever egg!
VRISKA: So, who did it? I 8et it was Lalonde, that 8itch and Kanaya were going H8RD on their strategy.
VRISKA: Gotta say, they gave me a run for my money!
VRISKA: Haven’t seen ‘em yet though. ::::/
JUNE: um, i don’t think it was rose, not directly at least.
JUNE: what do you mean by egg though?
VRISKA: What do you mean what do you mean? June, have you been out as trans for like 5 min8s?
JUNE: uh, kind of? i was talking with jade, and i decided i wanted to try being a girl, and then i fell asleep and did some other stuff until i wandered over here!
VRISKA: W8w! That’s fucking weird! Who are you, Jade?
VRISKA: Well, congratul8ions! Welcome to the club!
JUNE: wait, are you trans gender too?
VRISKA: Yep!
VRISKA: So, first lesson of trans girlhood for you June!
VRISKA: All trans girls are incredi8le and can do no wrong!
TAVROS: uM, i DON’T THINK THAT’S STRICTLY TRUE,
VRISKA: W8W Tavros, way to be transpho8ic!
TAVROS: nO, tHAT WASN’T WHAT i MEANT,
TAVROS: aND JUST TO SHOW IT, cONGRATULATIONS, uH, hUMAN WHO I JUST MET, oN THE COOL GENDER,
TAVROS: i WAS TALKING MORE ABOUT, uh, wHEN YOU KILLED ME,
VRISKA: Ugh, this again? That was soooooooo long ago, you’re over it now!
TAVROS: i, uH, dON'T THINK YOU ARE THE ONE, wHO SHOULD BE DECIDING THAT,
JUNE: oh.
JUNE: then you’re the guy that vriska killed? sorry about that, and thanks for the congratulations!
TAVROS: tHANK YOU, aND YOU’RE WELCOME,
TAVROS: tHOUGH i THINK i KNOW, uH, a BETTER THANKS,
TAVROS: (giVe me tHE rIng)
JUNE: (later, leave me alone!)
TAVROS: (yoU sAid you would gIVe it)
JUNE: (well maybe i changed my mind!)
TAVROS: (wHat)
TAVROS: (yOu can’T just dO that)
JUNE: (i can and i will! remember what vriska said, i can do no wrong!)
TAVROS: (i hAVe already staTed my opInion on that)
JUNE: (are you two even really together? she’s being pretty mean to you.)
TAVROS: (uhhhhHHhhh)
VRISKA: What the fuck are you two 8a88ling a8out?
VRISKA: Wait, I don’t care! Like I was saying, June, if you need a few tips and tricks to look as hot as I do, then I’ll gladly share them!
VRISKA: 8ut first!!!!!!!! We need to get down to business.
VRISKA: June, what do you know a8out a guy named Lord English?

Vriska fills you in a bit on what’s been going on while you’ve been on the ship. Apparently, there’s some super boss named Lord English who’s been the actual mastermind this whole time, and Jack wasn’t actually that important! That really frustrates you considering you have already been killed by Jack, and don’t even know WHAT to do about a big green skull monster, but you suppose you’ll have to keep training. But soon after, you’re approached by a strange girl that... hey! That was the girl trying to stab Rose’s teen mom!

JUNE: hey, it’s you! i remember you!
MEENAH: ITS BLU-E BOY!!! hahaha i forgot about this dumb nerd
JUNE: i’m not a boy anymore, i’m a girl!
MEENAH: oh glub sorry my b
MEENAH: NOW CATC)( THIS BLU-EGILL!!!!!!

She throws her trident straight towards your chest, but you manage to dematerialize, forming behind her!

JUNE: ha, can’t get m—

She whirls around, pulls another trident from out of nowhere, and stabs you in the chest again.

JUNE: DAMMIT

You vanish and wake up, clutching your chest with your hand. Damn that fishy girl, you swear you’ll dodge her trident one of these days!
Oddly, you feel something in your hand. And when you open it, you see a glittering gold ring shining out at you.

JADE: hold still!
JUNE: bluhhh, are you sure those are safe? why couldn’t you use safety scissors?
JADE: june.
JADE: you can’t cut your hair with safety scissors!
JADE: you are LITERALLY immortal how are you so scared of scissors?
JUNE: it is a lot more visceral! i’m not gonna die from getting my ear cut off, it’s just going to hurt!
JADE: june, i have done this plenty of times on myself, there is no need to worry!
JUNE: ...and your hair looks like that?
JADE: >:(
JADE: keep making fun of me and maybe i will cut your ear off!
JUNE: noooooo! okay i’ll be quiet.
JADE: THANK you!

You are fidgeting in a chair in Jade’s room on LOFAF. It’s been a few weeks since you came out, and you and Jade decided that you needed to have a designated extra-special sister bonding night, complete with a NO BOYS ALLOWD sign taped firmly to the door. And that of course, started with a makeover! Jade had grown your hair out using her spacey powers, and now she was working on trimming it into a reasonable shape. Your hair had already gotten kinda long on the ship, so it only needed a little encouragement! After a few minutes of hummed concentration and snipping, she pulls back.

JADE: there! all done!

She pulls up a mirror as you use your windy powers to shake the hairs off the back of your neck, you figure Jade won’t mind with all the dog hair on nearly every surface, and take a look in the mirror. You smile without thinking. The cut is basic, a bit messy, but it feels like you. It’s a little past shoulder-length, with some raggedy but cute bangs that hang just over your eyes.

JUNE: aw, jade, i love it! you did such a good job!
JADE: see, i told you, i know what im doing!
JADE: now, makeup!
JADE: i. don’t actually know any makeup!
JUNE: well, i am sure well be fine just winging it!
JUNE: i tried to get nanna to teach me some, and she was pretty supportive, but she kept writing rude messages on my face! sometimes i wish she’d let up with the pranksters gambits already!
JADE: mhm, now hold still!

Jade sticks her tongue out in concentration as she tries to draw some eyeliner on your lids. You try to keep them closed, but the feeling is a bit weird.

JUNE: like, i’m definitely glad she’s being supportive, but i wish she could take things a bit more seriously!
JADE: mhmmm
JUNE: i was kind of worried since she grew up in the olden days or whatever, but she at least was really supportive.
JADE: (oh shit)
JUNE: everyone else appears to be taking it well! though if i’m honest i can barely understand a word that casey says.
JADE: (its okay we can just add a bit more on the other eye)
JUNE: like, consort is hard to learn at the best of times! gosh i wish i knew what she thinks about me!
JUNE: did you know that rose also found them and named them? i think it was like count bubbles or something? and she thought they were a guy?
JADE: (ohhhhh no thats too much gotta go back to the other)
JUNE: i think i might just use neutral gender stuff from casey from now on until i can understand them!
JUNE: i wonder what rose and the rest are doing now? probably having as much fun as we are, right jade?
JADE: (fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck)
JUNE: jade?

Your sister sucks in a breath through her teeth and pulls back, taking a hard look at your face.

JUNE: ...how bad is it?
JADE: not... awful!!!
JADE: i think!
JADE: here, take a look.

You take the hand mirror and look at your reflection. It’s definitely... something! There’s a loooot more than you expected, covering up about half of your upper lid, and a few chunky blocks that you think are supposed to be wings trailing off to the sides. But despite it all... it looks kind of cute on you? You giggle a little.

JADE: ugh it sucks doesnt it? im sorry its bad :(
JUNE: no, jade! i like it, it is really cute!
JADE: ...are you sure youre not just saying that?
JUNE: nope! i mean it’s a bit messy, but who cares! i like it!
JADE: oh thank god!
JUNE: now it’s your turn! hand me the eyeliner?
JADE: okay!
JADE:
JADE: wait june you arent gonna pull a prank on me are you?
JUNE: noooooooo, why would you say that jade?
JADE: youre smiling the way you do when youve played a prank!
JUNE: i have no idea what you are talking about! :B
JUNE: i am just happy! can’t i be happy to spend time with my sister!
JADE: you stay away from me with that eyeliner!
JUNE: aw, are you sure? i proooooooomise not to draw a mustache or funny googly eyes on you!
JADE: okay now i think you are definitely going to do those things so no.
JUNE: awwwwww.
JUNE: sorry jade, hehe.
JADE: its okay! i honestly wasn’t too jazzed about the makeup to begin with! and this means we can move on to the main event!
JADE: CLOTHES!!!!! :D
JADE: so, what did you want to start with? skirts?
JUNE: um, actually!
JUNE: i haven’t tried this on in a long time, but...

You pull out your portable wardrobifier, hovering your finger over the dress that had been spinning around in your mind for so long, the one that you had felt on your legs for about five very embarrassing seconds before taking it off. But now, there’s no reason to be. You take a deep breath, and click on the dress.

JADE: :0
JADE: :DD
JADE: june!!!! where did you get that!!!
JUNE: um, vriska gave it to me back during the game!
JUNE: at the time i thought it was a prank, but i think she was trying to, what was it, “crack my egg?”
JUNE: so i guess i should thank her!
JADE: wait so youve worn this before? when did that happen?
JUNE: oh, it was a funny thing that happened! basically, vriska gave me a new outfit because she thought that my ghostbusters suit was lame! can you believe that?
JADE: june
JADE: it was lame!
JUNE: what? noooooo, it was totally cool!
JADE: you looked like you were wearing a pool table june!!!
JUNE: well anyways! enough about people being wrong about my bad ass suit collection.
JUNE: after that, kanaya messaged me and said she could give me a better outfit than that! and she really did, her and rose designed it!

You click on the Windyouth’s Awakening, and are flooded with memories. You’ve worn it a few times on the ship, you’ve always just loved how the scarf flows around with your windy powers. Jade gasps and claps.

JADE: june that is so cute!!! so rose and kanaya made it for you?
JUNE: yeah, haha! i think there was some sort of rivalry between vriska and them, because they kept sending me outfits! and they were all nice, but the last two vriska sent me were one with a skirt, and the dress!
JUNE: though weirdly she called it a “battle drape”...
JUNE: wait was that an actual troll thing or was i just
JUNE: ohhhh dammit i got pranked!
JADE: the prankmistress herself has been dethroned!!
JADE: all must chuck whoopee cushions and beaglepusses at her while she languishes in the royal fingertrap stockades.
JUNE: i’m ruined! ruined! i will cast off my silly hat and leave in disgrace.
JADE: and the world endured the worst prank war known to man!!!
JUNE: millions dead! a tragedy like nothing else when the shaving-cream bomb falls on new york!
JADE: ...
JUNE: oh shoot, jade are you okay?
JADE: yeah im fine, sorry! its just...
JADE: did i ever tell you how i died? like, so i could ascend to god-tier?
JUNE: no, i don’t think you ever di—
JUNE:
JUNE: jade did you get killed by a shaving cream bomb?
JADE: sigh.
JADE: yes i did.
JUNE: ...
JUNE: well if you don’t want me to make a joke out of it i will not! no matter how tempting it is.
JADE: thanks june.

You lay on the bed next to your sister, switching back to the dress for comfort. You just sit there for a moment, a bit worried that you upset her, but she turns her head to smile at you. She looks like she’s about to say something, when you hear a knock on the door.

JADE: who is it?
DAVESPRITE: um
DAVESPRITE: hey its me
JADE: oh.
JADE: davesprite, can you read?
DAVESPRITE: afraid not
DAVESPRITE: my bro was too busy teaching me how to kick ass to send me to a proper school
DAVESPRITE: had to use my super-honed psychic abilities to read whatever internet nerds were talking to me about
DAVESPRITE: poppin nosebleeds like an anime protag every time rose sent me a screed about how i was secretly really into puppet dick
DAVESPRITE: why do you think so many of my shirts were red
DAVESPRITE: it was from readin my ecto-sisters psychoanalysis bullshit every goddamn day
DAVESPRITE: shit got me majorly anemic
JADE: well then, davesprite, sorry for the nosebleed, but maybe you can use your psychic powers to, i dont know, read the sign on the door?
JADE: you know what, ill read it for you, it says NO BOYS ALLOWED!!!!!!!!!
DAVESPRITE:
DAVESPRITE: well shit youre right
DAVESPRITE: counterpoint
DAVESPRITE: im at least like 40% bird
DAVESPRITE: and birds have like a totally different system of that shit
DAVESPRITE: like different chromosomes and shit
DAVESPRITE: so technically i dont even think i count as a boy
JADE: well i have becs dna, and that doesn’t make me a boy! i dont even know why youre bringing up chromosomes in the first place considering!
DAVESPRITE: considering what
DAVESPRITE: oh shit sorry june i wasnt thinking
DAVESPRITE: didnt mean to spout some biologically determinist bullshit on you like that i was just trying to get in
DAVESPRITE: so can i come in?
JUNE: um.
JUNE: no? like jade said, no boys allowed!
DAVESPRITE:
DAVESPRITE: okay yeah i get it
DAVESPRITE: but
DAVESPRITE: shit
DAVESPRITE: okay sincerity time
DAVESPRITE: pulling up a goddamn chair and sitting on it backwards like im about to tell you about a little guy named jesus
DAVESPRITE: im really sorry ive been such a royal asshole lately
DAVESPRITE: like im not even gonna blame that on bird me thats 100% whole-milk grass fed genuine strider dickholery
DAVESPRITE: and i kinda want to apologise to your faces instead of doing this through the door shtick
DAVESPRITE: like yeah in a movie i bet its super dramatic and shit but here in the real world i sound like a goddamn muffled buffoon mumbling his bullshit through a solid foot of
DAVESPRITE: what is this metal? what the fuck harley why do you need a door this thick? whats gonna
DAVESPRITE: cutting myself off i know exactly what literally has already happened sorry im gonna blame the bird memory on that
DAVESPRITE: so anyways i totally get if you dont wanna let me in thats cool

You look to Jade. You were... really worried about Davesprite. After you came out, he disappeared for weeks, with you only catching stray feathers and wispy tails darting behind a corner. You knew it was probably the breakup, but you couldn’t help but think that somehow, it was because you came out, and he was mad at you, or he just didn’t want to be around you anymore. She looks a little annoyed, and a little sad, but she lets out a puff of air and nods to you. You go and open the door, and see Davesprite behind it, looking uncharacteristically nervous. He looks at you raises his eyebrows.

DAVESPRITE: woah what the hell happened here
JUNE: ...
DAVESPRITE: wait shit i fucked up already what the hell
DAVESPRITE: june im sorry that eyeliner looks bomb as hell and i dont know how i managed to fuck this up like literally as soon as you opened the door
DAVESPRITE: i fuckin hate me and my stupid mouth sometimes insulting my best bro—
DAVESPRITE: FUCK sorry thats probably not cool
DAVESPRITE: my best sis there we go
DAVESPRITE: gonna have to change the name of the comic to sweet sis and hell jeff actually no thats stupid
DAVESPRITE: im just gonna stop digging this hole deeper and just come on in okay?
JUNE: ...okay.
DAVESPRITE: oh thank fuck
DAVESPRITE: june egbert fuckin miss magnanimous over here
DAVESPRITE: helping striders all around the world after they trip on their own dicks
DAVESPRITE: okay ill shut up now

You sit back on the bed and lean back. You’re glad that he seems to be accepting of you. But if he’s cool with this, why did he just disappear like that? Jade is giving him a flat stare, her arms folded in front of her. Davesprite hovers a few feet in front of you.

DAVESPRITE: so
DAVESPRITE: here it comes
DAVESPRITE: apology central over here
DAVESPRITE: so i know i disappeared for a few weeks
DAVESPRITE: and i just now realized like how that looks
DAVESPRITE: like wow my best friend just came out as a girl and then i fuckin ghosted her for like almost a month bet i wont look as transphobic as all hell
JUNE: i mean, i was a bit worried. i thought you might hate me?
DAVESPRITE: you see this is what im talking about
DAVESPRITE: june i am totally okay with you being a girl full stop no if ands or buts
DAVESPRITE: like if you want boobs or whatever than bounce bounce amirite
DAVESPRITE: like i get why you were worried with some of the shit we used to like say to each other but ive been trying to really open my eyes about some shit lately
DAVESPRITE: which has involved a lot of realizing when the dumb shit we said to each other as kids was like super not cool
DAVESPRITE: and this isnt to like split the blame i mean yeah we both said some heinous garbage for the lols but yeah just putting it out there that i understand why youd think that
DAVESPRITE: but june fuckin egbert which is your full name now i called it first name june middle name fuckin
DAVESPRITE: nothing is gonna make me stop bein your friend okay
DAVESPRITE: we have a sisterhood forged in the goddamn fires of sburb and also weird internet chat forums we should not have been on and god DAMN i wouldnt break that shit over you being a girl now
JUNE:
JUNE: *sniff*
DAVESPRITE: oh shit no no no what did i do did i make her cry june did i say something wrong
JADE: you better not have >:(
JUNE: no it’s, it’s okay.
JUNE: i was just really, really afraid i was going to lose you?
JUNE: like you would take it really badly and then just not want to be my friend anymore?
JUNE: dave you mean a lot to me and i don’t want to lose you as a friend!
DAVESPRITE: june i
DAVESPRITE:
DAVESPRITE: i dont wanna lose you either
DAVESPRITE: and im not gonna fuckin leave the best friend ive ever known for some shit like that
DAVESPRITE: youd have to do some truly heinous shit for me to stop being your friend
DAVESPRITE: like blowing up the ship
DAVESPRITE: even then id be like
DAVESPRITE: “oh holy shit she blew up the ship thats pretty badass”
DAVESPRITE: you can commit like one atrocity and ill probably be chill with it
DAVESPRITE: two might be pushing it so basically june dont kill literally everybody twice and well be square
JUNE: ...
JUNE: dave can i hug you?
DAVESPRITE: um
DAVESPRITE: yeah sure i mean no homo though
DAVESPRITE: wait youre a girl its no homo by default get in here egbert

You bring him in for a hug. He’s surprisingly warm, and it occurs to you that you’ve never given him a hug. You don’t think you were ever much of a huggy person before you came out, but you think that might be changing.

DAVESPRITE: hell yes getting hugs from hot bitches
DAVESPRITE: hold on june gotta take a picture to show to rose so she stops calling me gay
JUNE: hey, don’t call me a bitch?
DAVESPRITE: damn okay
DAVESPRITE: suddenly its not okay to call my girl friends bitches
DAVESPRITE: the fuckin pc police are showing up to take custody of my kids
DAVESPRITE: but yeah ill stop no worries
JUNE: thanks dave.
JUNE: so you think i’m hot?
DAVESPRITE: wait fuck i was hoping my casual misogyny distracted you from that
JUNE: nooooo, you can’t get out of this!
JADE: what is it dave? you have a thing for harleybert girls?
DAVESPRITE: wait fuck go back im not admitting to shit
DAVESPRITE: you cant get me to snitch my feelings about my hot friends in a million
DAVESPRITE: fuck
DAVESPRITE: okay backup calling a complete moratorium on any comments on how attractive my friends may or may not be this is like half the reason i came here

He pulls away from the hug, looking a bit nervous and... flustered? You really aren’t sure how to feel about this, but he called a moratorium, so you’ll put it to the side for now. He floats over to Jade and rubs his arm.

DAVESPRITE: so
DAVESPRITE: shit jade im really sorry for just dumping and ghosting you out of the blue
DAVESPRITE: real dick move one hundred percent just flipping the fuck out of a relationship with the realest person one this ship
DAVESPRITE: no offense june youre definitely number two
JUNE: none taken, jade rules. :B
DAVESPRITE: see this is what i mean
DAVESPRITE: who doesnt like jade harley fuckin no one thats who
DAVESPRITE: literal baddest bad guy in the game goin about murdering bros cant get enough of jade first name jade middle name fuckin last name harley
DAVESPRITE: and i
DAVESPRITE: im sorry
DAVESPRITE: the honest answer is im kinda dealing with a lot of like
DAVESPRITE: me stuff
DAVESPRITE: and i just dont know if im ready to be like
DAVESPRITE: in a relationship
DAVESPRITE: i think i gotta like do some fuckin premium-quality introspection on myself before i can do like
DAVESPRITE: the whole relationship thing
DAVESPRITE: so jade i am real sorry for breakin up with you

Jade purses her lips, her arms still folded. She looks to the side, and then lets them drop with a sigh.

JADE: i mean, im still pretty mad at you!
JADE: but i can see that youre going through something right now.
JADE: i know that its been really hard on the ship for you two. and im sorry for not being more patient with you.
DAVESPRITE: jade what the fuck are you talking about
DAVESPRITE: you were the fuckin epitome of patience when we were together
DAVESPRITE: dealing with nonstop strider verbal slurry and whining isnt an easy task but somehow you fuckin did it
DAVESPRITE: more evidence that jade harley is the fuckin best
DAVESPRITE: and im not trying to butter you up or anything i legit think youre super cool
DAVESPRITE: obviously youre a huge nerd but ive come to accept that i will be forever surrounded by nerds so im immune to that shit
DAVESPRITE: like we have rose whos just a pretentious book nerd
DAVESPRITE: june whos original flavor dork with some weirdly specific movie tastes
JUNE: what is that supposed to mean?
DAVESPRITE: june it means that nick cage blows ass
JUNE: what!? no he doesn’t, nick cage is great!
DAVESPRITE: june didnt your whole coming out thing get facilitated by the personal growth of realizing that a nick cage movie is bad
JUNE: well con air isn’t as good as i remembered it being
JUNE: but face/off is still a classic!
DAVESPRITE: okay june keep living in your state of cage denial
DAVESPRITE: also mcconaughey sucks too breaking all the glass on this shit no terrible actor left untouched
DAVESPRITE: oh that reminds me
DAVESPRITE: im really really fuckin sorry about the note
DAVESPRITE: like that shit was completely uncalled for in like every way i was just feeling like an asshole that day
DAVESPRITE: like objectively should have led with that thats one of the worst things ive ever done
DAVESPRITE: worse than that one time i tried to give you aj that was actually piss
JUNE: what?
DAVESPRITE: it was revenge for you bringin up that fuckin little monsters movie
DAVESPRITE: you got mandel into my head june and he wouldnt leave
DAVESPRITE: i had to throw out the last goddamn aj on the planet for that
DAVESPRITE: other dave is fuckin cursing your name because theres no more aj left in the universe thats it
DAVESPRITE: but back on topic
DAVESPRITE: i didnt have a right to bring up your dad like that especially not on that day
DAVESPRITE: like yeah i didnt remember that that was like the anniversary of his death but to be fair so fuckin much happened that day and the fact that it was your birthday slips my goddamn mind
DAVESPRITE: anyways yeah im super sorry
JUNE: ...
JUNE: well i am glad you’ve apologized. but that really hurt, and i do not think i can forgive you just like that.
DAVESPRITE: sigh
DAVESPRITE: yeah i figured
DAVESPRITE: alright lay it on me egbert what terrible acts of penance must i do
DAVESPRITE: and before you ask no i wont give up rapping youd be asking me to give away my soul
DAVESPRITE: at least ask for whatever fucked-up bird children i will have in the future i have no business raising them
JUNE: jesus, dave i am not asking you to give up your kids!
JUNE: i just... might need some more time to forgive you.
DAVESPRITE: alright
DAVESPRITE: i can do that
DAVESPRITE: fuckin master of time right here thats no problem
DAVESPRITE: ill get out of your hair so you two can have fun
JUNE: *SIGH*
JUNE: dave get your ass back in here.
DAVESPRITE: wait im confused you said you needed time
JUNE: i did!
DAVESPRITE:
DAVESPRITE: god dammit i got punked again didnt i
JUNE: :B
DAVESPRITE: oh fuck yoooouuuuuuu
DAVESPRITE: affectionately of course i have basically no right to be mad at you right now
DAVESPRITE: hey thanks for being the coolest motherfucker on this ship
DAVESPRITE: that doesnt contradict my earlier statement btdubs jade is the realest youre the coolest
JUNE: wow, trying to pit women against each other dave?
JUNE: that’s not very feminist of you.
DAVESPRITE: goddamn youre right it isnt

Davesprite sits on the edge of the bed. He looks less tense. Was he really afraid you were going to just ditch him? You guess that you had that same thought earlier, but still.

JUNE: so, dave. what sort of things were you thinking about in your alone time?
DAVESPRITE: fuck
DAVESPRITE: why does misogyny never distract you two from my real issues
DAVESPRITE: i guess ive just been feeling
DAVESPRITE: shit this is dumb im going to go
JADE: ohhhhhh no you dont strider! we had to put up with your moods, you at least owe us an explanation!
JUNE: i mean, you don’t have to share, but if you want to!
DAVESPRITE:
DAVESPRITE: i guess ive just been feeling weird about like, who i am as a whole
JUNE: wait
JUNE: dave are you?
DAVESPRITE: ...
DAVESPRITE: honestly i dont know
DAVESPRITE: maybe? but its not just that
DAVESPRITE: ...
DAVESPRITE: you two have been calling me dave this whole conversation
JADE: oh.
JUNE: oh sorry, i didn’t even realize!
DAVESPRITE: its cool
DAVESPRITE: but like
DAVESPRITE: im kind of not?
DAVESPRITE: like im not the main dave anymore
DAVESPRITE: i gave that up back when i went back in time and did an acrobatic fucking pirouette straight into the kernelsprite to save other dave from damnation and also from having to deal with calsprite which was honestly worse than any hell conceived by man
DAVESPRITE: and i was cool with that for a long time
DAVESPRITE: like yeah i have a ghost ass now and im part bird but i got all this knowledge and also a sword in my chest which is definitely cool and never terrifying
DAVESPRITE: and it was for a little
DAVESPRITE: but shit i feel like ive been out of the game too long and its fucking with me
DAVESPRITE: like i turned myself into a game object and now im out of the game
DAVESPRITE: im basically a purposeless copy of a guy who honestly i barely know
DAVESPRITE: like it might not seem like a ton but ive spent 4 months and 2 years of my life different from him
DAVESPRITE: i dont know if we count as the same person
DAVESPRITE: and i dont think i wanna be
JUNE: okay. so, is there anything you want us to call you now?
DAVESPRITE: fucked if i know
JADE: want us to help?
DAVESPRITE: uhhhhhh look i spent like five weeks thinking on this shit and ive got nothing
DAVESPRITE: and before you ask im not naming myself jeff
DAVESPRITE: cutting that off at the pass im not gonna go around having named myself after 13-year old mes perfectly shitty webcomic that deserves to stay pristine to the end of time
DAVESPRITE: when we get to the new world im banning the name jeff there can only be one
DAVESPRITE: give it a thousand years and hell be a goddamn mythic figure
DAVESPRITE: patron god of warning people about the fucking stairs
DAVESPRITE: fuckin cassandra figure no one will ever listen
DAVESPRITE: the call of the stairs beckoning like the void for people to fling their asses down them
DAVESPRITE: and like i don’t know
DAVESPRITE: i feel like i need a placeholder name you know
DAVESPRITE: just something for now while i figure myself out
DAVESPRITE: like some kinda jo—
DAVESPRITE: okay definitely not that one almost fucked up again goddamn
DAVESPRITE: some kinda jane doe
JUNE: uh, that’s actually nanna’s name.
DAVESPRITE: aw shit no doubles i getcha
DAVESPRITE: not trying to invade any gilf territory
DAVESPRITE: lest i get absolutely pelted by creamy confections
JUNE: gross!
JADE: i mean, ive read that some trans people just go by their initials!
DAVESPRITE: so what like ds?
DAVESPRITE: hm
DAVESPRITE: you know i dont mind that
JUNE: like the nintendo ds?
DS: okay yeah that sticks it im naming myself after the nintendo ds
DS: cause ive got two screens get it cause of the shades
DS: naw but i think that works
DS: ds it is
JUNE: okay ds! how does that sound my good friend ds?
JADE: were here for you ds!! even if you can be a jerk sometimes. >:)
DS: yeah thatll do
DS: hell yes
JUNE: hey ds?
DS: yeah june whats up?
JUNE: jade said that trans people go by their initials sometimes.
JUNE: does that mean you’re trans?
DS:
DS: fuck now i guess i need a placeholder gender until i figure that out
DS: yo jade you got any placeholder genders for me in that fucking impenetrable wall of text rose sent you?
JADE: um, i dont think theres any specifically like that!
JADE: but we could just use neutral terms for you to start! like not calling you a boy or a girl and using they/them pronouns
DS:
DS: yeah ok
DS: hey thanks for not being like shitty about this
JUNE: ds, like you said, siblinghood forged in fire! i’m not going to be shitty to you just because you’re having an identity crisis!
JADE: thatd be pretty hypocritical of us after last time!
DS: yeah i guess it would be
DS: goddamn here i am expecting so little of the coolest and realest motherfuckers on the ship
DS: last mistake ill make today i swear
DS: so what the hell were you two broads doing at the fun girls-and-now-also-me slumber party
JUNE: jade and i were going to try on clothes! i was just showing her this dress i got from vriska!
DS: shit yeah i was wondering where that came from
DS: looks good as hell on you by the way no hetero
DS: aw shit that doesnt work either cause im not currently a guy fuck
DS: you look good PLATONICALLY nothing else okay
JUNE: heh, thanks ds!
JUNE: so, do you want to join us?
DS:
DS: fuck it yeah i do

You spend the night with Jade and DS talking and hanging out, trying on clothes and trying to get the eyeliner right. It turns out DS really likes dresses because they haven’t been able to wear anything but shirts for two years now. By the time you all get done, you’re all tired and pull out some spare mattresses and blankets and crash in Jades room. It’s dark and quiet, with only the faint sound of frogs wafting up from the planet below.

DS: hey june
JUNE: yeah?
DS: hey jade
JADE: what?
DS: you awake
DS: shit dumb question obviously youre awake
DS: ...thanks for including me
JUNE: of course, youre our friend!
JADE: yeah! we care about you!! and it was a lot of fun!!
JADE: honestly i really missed having you around, and it was nice to just hang out with you again!! :)
DS: i know i know ladies cant get enough of the strider
DS: but
DS: like ive never been to a sleepover before
DS: like an honest to god sleepover
DS: despite my utterly incredible personality and dope rap skills i didnt exactly make a lot of friends
DS: it was like
JUNE: there was some sort of barrier keeping them away.
JUNE: and you didn’t know what it was but it made it hard to get close.
DS: shit june how did you
DS: ah
JUNE: you know that you two were of my first actual friends? you two and rose.
DS: what but youre like
DS: june youre just straight up likable
DS: i admit i can be an asshole but how did no one see that june egbert is premium-quality friend material
DS: that’s bullshit im glad they all died
JUNE: i don’t know! it just happened!
JUNE: i just didn’t say anything much or talk to anyone. and no one really bothered to speak to me.
JUNE: i don’t know what i would have done without you guys.
JADE: i mean i think its pretty obvious that you were my first friends besides bec.
JUNE: oh jeez jade, sorry. we’re over here talking about how sad it was that we weren’t popular in school while you're here!
JADE: oh its ok! like, yeah i was lonely. but were here now, right? all at our first sleepover after the end of the world.
JUNE: hehe, yeah.
JUNE: if only rose was here! then the gang would all be together!
DS: oh you want rose to be here do you
JUNE: uh, yeah? she’s our friend, why wouldn’t i want her here?
DS: hahaha, this is just fuckin perfect
DS: june has a crush on my sister
JUNE: what no i don’t!!!
DS: june its only fair
DS: i dated your sister now you date mine
DS: its the fuckin law of equivalent exchange except instead of losing your arm and your leg to get your brother and your mom back its just us mackin on each others sisters
JADE: hey!!
JADE: they’re right though june you totally like rose!!!
JUNE: this is slander! unfair and unjust slander! i demand to see my lawyer!
DS: sorry june only lawyers here are weird alien kids and theyre on the other ship probably mackin on prime universe dave
DS: but right now its two against one no holds barred and june egbert has a goddamn crush on rose lalonde like shes a severely outdated book and rose is her grandma on a ladder
DS: shit that sounded freudian as fuck nevermind forget i said anything but the crush part
JADE: except for the weird stuff, seconded!!!
JUNE: ugh! i’m going to bed!! goodnight jade! goodnight ds!!
DS: goodnight girl who has a crush on rose
JADE: goodnight girl who has a crush on rose!!
JUNE: GOODNIGHT!!!!
DS: haha she said it back that means its true

Your face burns as you shove it under your pillow. You... probably like Rose. So what? It doesn’t have to mean anything, right? You’re just going to try and get some rest. Maybe it’ll all make sense in the morning, after the first sleepover after the end of the world.

You wake up once again in a strange landscape, at once familiar and unfamiliar. The remnants of the little suburban park near your house are surrounded by giant glass globes filled with water and neon grass, cathedrals rise above lakes of boiling blood, and flashing rain fills a darkened sky, pierced with rays of vertical light. This isn’t the first time recently that you’ve been to the dream bubbles. After you came out, you found yourself wandering these odd and distant fields more and more often. Before, you were often worried that something was wrong with you, that you were never going to get to see them, but it seems that your repression was keeping a stronger lock on your consciousness than you had thought. It was a relief. For so long you had been tormented by dark dreams, full of harlequins and laughing faces, all laughing at you, pointing and jeering as you stood starkly illuminated in the spotlight, feeling anxiety sweat drip cold down your back. But those had disappeared some time ago, and after a long, nearly dreamless two years, you finally got to experience the dream bubbles for more than a few chance moments.

You even got to talk to a few trolls! Most weren’t incredibly social among new people, but at this point you know basically all of them! Like, over there, you’re pretty sure you see a Sollux and an Eridan arguing over something, a gaggle of Feferis jumping between fishbowls, and... you haven’t seen that one before. A weird, purple clown troll with a lazy smile, slowly riding a unicycle off in the distance. Staring at you. You turn away your gaze and float away from him as fast as possible.

Truth be told, you weren’t always the most social person either. Sure, you can be friendly, but dammit sometimes a girl needs some time to wander the afterlife alone! And because the dream bubbles are the way they are, it's a nice place to try out wearing girl clothes in public! You decided today on a short skirt with blue kneesocks, a tank top with your signature slimer on it, and Vriska’s green jacket. You even tried imagining a little makeup, but even your imagination couldn’t fix your sloppy wings, so you kept it simple.

But for all your wanderings, you’re a little melancholy! You had thought that getting into a dream bubble meant meeting your friends! But you’ve been seeing an utter lack of humans, or for that matter, any alive people. You know that your session was shorter than the troll’s session, so you all had less of a chance to make dead alt-you’s. The only ones you know of are you, Rose, and Jade from DS’s timeline, and maybe some Daves. But you know that the alt-you that weirdly dated Vriska for a while is perma-dead, and you don’t know about the others. It’s frustrating, knowing that your chances of seeing your friends again is essentially random. You sigh, hanging your head a bit as the area transitions to a deep forest, a canopy of pines obscuring the sky from view. Even if you do see them again, what would they think of you now? You’re a totally different gender, and while you’re pretty sure that Rose would accept you, you don’t know about Dave. DS went through an introspective journey, but you don’t know if Dave has changed, or if he’s still the same guy that casually called people homophobic slurs over the most basic annoyances. You’re scared to find out.

Of course, none of that matters if you can’t even find them! You turn your head up and breathe in the air. It’s fresh and sunny, but with just the slightest chill on the breeze, a nice break from the odd sterility of the ship air. You start to wonder where this memory came from, or more accurately, who it came from. You’ve now had the chance to see the surface of Alternia, and you're reasonably sure this isn’t a troll memory. It’s not yours, you didn’t get out in nature much, and Washington’s didn't look like this. You’re almost certain that Dave never left urban Texas, and Jade lived on a tropical island, so that leaves—

??????: So This Is Where You Lived Back On Your Planet
????: Yes, beautiful rural New York, miles from any form of civilization that could prevent a young girl from going slowly insane from isolation.
????: I used to go on a lot of walks to clear my head and get away from my mother, or to work through plot holes in some of my wizard fiction. Or just to think up cool fight scenes where the characters brutally murder each other.
??????: Well This Area Is Quite Aesthetically Pleasing
??????: I Was Unable To Fully Relax When Away From My Hive Due To The Large Proportion Of Undead Horrors Shambling Near My Hive
??????: Are They Simply Not Located In This Area Of Your Planet
????: I’m afraid not, our planet has a complete dearth of undead monsters shambling around.
??????: What
??????: But They Are Everywhere In Those Human Movies That Dave And Karkat Love To Argue Over
????: I’m afraid they’re a fiction, made to represent the various anxieties our society had about the apocalypse and other social issues.
????: Unfortunately for them, the apocalypse came not in hungry humanesque monsters with a taste for flesh, but in the form of a four teenagers playing an online game. And also the torrent of meteors predestined to destroy the planet.
??????: I See
??????: Well It Is Making For A Pleasant Ambulatory Experience
????: I’d like to think so.

You hear a pair of voices, muffled by the early-fall trees, initially unfamiliar. But then they come to you, in the form of the voice of a tall, elegant troll girl wearing a pretty red dress that you talked to last week, and the lilting tones of a voice that you’ve only ever heard briefly over tinny internet audio, or haunted by the burbling of horrorterrors.

You turn towards the sound and see them. Rose, wearing a woolen white sweatshirt and skirt, is standing next to Kanaya, dressed simply in a black blouse and long red skirt. You freeze. You’ve wanted to see them for so long, but now that the moment is here, you find yourself at an utter loss. You want to hide, to vanish into the breeze so they can't see you, but then they turn to look at you, slowly stopping their stroll. You stand there, looking at each other, the distance between you two closed from uncountable miles away to just yards in a second. Your heart beats hard.

KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: Rose Is This Just A Memory Thing Or Is That
ROSE:

Rose clears her throat and starts to walk towards you. You stand, frozen to the ground. She gets closer to you. You can see she’s wearing black lipstick, and her glass earrings capture the light of late afternoon, throwing spectral ghosts across her cheeks. Her eyeliner is sharp, with a black jagged starburst under one eye fading out to the warm color of her skin.

ROSE: Hello.
JUNE: um.
JUNE: hi.
ROSE: I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for a friend of mine. Would you happen to know where they are?

Does. Does she not recognize you? For a moment you think your transformation is so dramatic that Rose doesn’t even know it’s you. But then you catch something. The ghost of a smirk on her face, and a twinkle in her eye.

JUNE: ummm, i don’t know!
JUNE: what is this friend of yours like?
ROSE: Well, they would be around my age, fifteen, with a fondness for the color blue, black hair, wears glasses, and a soft spot for terrible old movies.
JUNE: hm, i can’t say that i have seen someone of that description!
ROSE: Well, they would not describe the movies as bad, despite their objective lack of quality. They are an avid fan of the works of Cage and Mcconaughey, and are one of the best gift-givers that I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
ROSE: We’ve been out of contact for a couple of years due to circumstances beyond our control, and I was very much looking forward to seeing them again.
JUNE: hehehe, hmmmmm.
JUNE: you know, i do believe i’ve seen someone like that skulking around here!
JUNE: i saw, um, her, wandering the woods in a beaglepuss, holding a couple cans of shaving cream! i think she may be engaged in some kind of dastardly prank!
ROSE: Oh good, I was hoping it would be her.
ROSE: And I am aware that she is a vicious prankstress, I’ve been the victim of her japery more often that I would like to account.
ROSE: Well, thank you so much for your assistance, kind stranger. If you wouldn’t mind, could you tell me your name?

Kanaya, for the entire conversation, has been looking back and forth between the two of you, looking increasingly concerned.

KANAYA: Rose What Are You Talking About
KANAYA: That Is Very Clearly J
KANAYA:
KANAYA: Actually You Are Right What Is Your Name Complete Stranger I Have Never Seen Before
JUNE: um
JUNE: it’s
JUNE: my name is june.

Rose’s face breaks into a rare smile, and she walks toward you. She places a hand on your shoulder, and your face heats up.

ROSE: Hi June.
ROSE: It’s lovely to meet you.

She brings you in for a hug, wrapping her arms around you, and oh gosh she’s warm and you’re holding her back and smiling, and crying a little because this is all a lot but not in a bad way. She smells like lavender.

JUNE: *sniff* h-hi rose.
JUNE: it’s so good to see you again.
ROSE: It’s good to see you again too, June.

She pulls back, casting an analytical eye over you, and you blush even harder. She gives a small nod of approval.

ROSE: And if I may, looking better than ever.
KANAYA: I Have To Concur
KANAYA: June You Appear To Have Become Quite Proficient In Putting Together An Appealing Outfit In The Intervening Two Years
KANAYA: That Is To Say You Look Nice
JUNE: aw, thanks you two! but compared to you i’m nothing special! and also, hi kanaya! i don’t think i’ve ever met this version of you in person!
KANAYA: Hi June
KANAYA: It Is Quite Nice To See You In Person And Not During A Competition Over A Texting Client
KANAYA: And Please Do Not Sell Yourself Short
KANAYA: Fashion Is One Of My Primary Passions And Both Rose And I Have Had Many More Years Of Experience Putting Together An Aesthetic Ensemble
KANAYA: If You Do Not Mind Me Asking
KANAYA: How Long Have You Been Out
JUNE: um, just a little over a month!
KANAYA: There You Go
KANAYA: Only One Month And Already You Are Putting Together Outfits That I Would Describe As Very Cute
ROSE: Agreed, it suits you very well.
JUNE: well! thank you! :B
JUNE: jeez it’s been so long, i feel like we have so much to catch up on!
ROSE: Well, you could always join us on our walk. Unless you plan on simply vanishing back into the void or getting stabbed by a troll girl out of nowhere.
JUNE: what! how did you know about that?
ROSE: Dave told me that he saw you getting speared in the chest while attempting to save a sleeping version of our alternate universe biological mother.
JUNE: :0
JUNE: i did not know anyone was watching that time! if i had known dave was there i would’ve tried harder to not get stabbed!
JUNE: where are dave and the others by the way?
ROSE: He and Karkat said they were “sick to fuckin death of seeing the same assholes over and over again,” and decided to just stay in and watch terrible rom-coms like usual. The rest are elsewhere, I just wanted to show Kanaya around my old home.
ROSE: Also, you said “that time.”
ROSE: June do you mean to tell me that you’ve been stabbed by an alien fish princess not once, but twice?
JUNE: i plead the fifth! i have the right to remain silent!
ROSE: June, there are no more laws, technically none of us have any legal rights.
KANAYA: And The Only True Legal Expert Alive Has An
KANAYA: Interesting Interpretation Of Justice
KANAYA: By Which I Mean She Basically Just Does Whatever She Wants And Calls It Justice
JUNE: you mean terezi? yeah, she did kill me as a joke that one time, so i don’t think i want her as my lawyer!
JUNE: but i would be happy to take a walk and catch up!
ROSE: Excellent. I’ll lead the way, though I think the dreambubbles do inspire a tendency to wander.
ROSE: So, June, how has it been on the ship? How is Jade?
JUNE: oh, she’s doing pretty well! she was actually the one that helped me realize who i was in the first place!
ROSE: Well, I’m most certainly glad that she could help you come to the realization of who you are. If you don’t mind, how did it come about? You were on the ship for quite some time, what was the catalyst for your nascent transition?
JUNE: well, it was my birthday, and jade and i were watching con air

Rose bursts out laughing, a short, sweet sound, then quickly covers her mouth.

ROSE: Apologies June, I didn’t mean to make fun of your experiences. It’s just, that may be the most June Egbert way to come out of the closet.
JUNE: yeah, i’ve heard it plenty of times, okay! i’m never going to live this down, am i?
ROSE: Absolutely not. I’ve been writing a log of our experiences in the game, and that one is going down under your section. It’s in heavy need of revision anyways in light of recent events.
JUNE: so anyways! i realized that con air...
JUNE: okay rose you have to promise me that after this specific statement you won’t make any snide comments.
ROSE: You do realize that you are simply inviting temptation, Egbert.
JUNE: rose!
ROSE: Fine. No snide comments about this specific statement you are about to make about the movie Con Air.
JUNE: thank you!
JUNE: so anyways i realized that con air kind of sucks!
ROSE:
KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: Rose Why Do You Look Like You Are About To Pass Out
ROSE: No matter the pain it causes, I made a promise, and I will be making no comments about what June just said.
ROSE: But just know that I am thinking them very loudly.
JUNE: well, that’s good enough for me!
JUNE: so i realized that con air kinda sucks! i got really pissed, kind of more at myself for ever liking it.
JUNE: but jade sort of got me talking about why i liked it, and after a few conversations and a pretty cruel prank from ds—
ROSE: Apologies, but who is DS?
JUNE: oh yeah! ds was dave sprite. they came out as non binary a few weeks ago!
ROSE: Interesting.
ROSE: That was honestly something I did not anticipate. I’ve made my jokes about my sibling in the past, but to think.
ROSE: I’ll need to look more into this.
JUNE: well, they said that part of the reason they came out was because they didn’t feel like they had to be dave! so it doesn’t have to really mean anything, right?
ROSE: Perhaps. I hadn’t accounted for divergent identities on account of timeline shenanigans. Maybe it’s nothing.
ROSE: Maybe.
KANAYA: Rose I Am Seeing A Familiar Look In Your Eye
ROSE: I have absolutely not idea what you are talking about. My eyes are very controlled.
KANAYA: No I Recognize It
KANAYA: You Had The Same Look In Your Eyes When You First Suggested That We Go Into A Fashion Competition With Vriska
ROSE: Kanaya!
KANAYA: What Did I Say
JUNE: wait, what look are you talking about kanaya?
JUNE: when you were first making clothes for me...
JUNE:
JUNE: rose
JUNE: kanaya
ROSE: Fuck.
JUNE: were you trying to get me to come out as trans?
KANAYA:
ROSE:
ROSE: Well
KANAYA: That Is To Say
ROSE: In a manner of speaking
KANAYA: That May Have Been A Part Of Our Initial Intentions
KANAYA: Though Not To Throw My Matesprit Under The Bus But I Initially Went Along With Her Plan Mostly To Spite Vriska
KANAYA: But I Was Aware Of Roses Intention So I Cannot Completely Absolve Myself Of Blame
KANAYA: And I Wanted To See What You Looked Like In The Outfits We Designed

Rose’s lips are pursed, and she’s drawn her arms closer to herself. Granted, you haven’t seen her many times, but you’ve never seen her look self-conscious.

ROSE: *Sigh*.
ROSE: I’m sorry June. At the time I was receiving a lot of information, and I was... feeling reckless. I had suspected you were trans for some time now, and I wanted to give you a space to explore your expression, in a sense, without explicitly telling you.
ROSE: I was worried that if I told you directly about your own identity, it could cause... problems. I had received some information to that effect.
ROSE: Ultimately, though I can now see that I was right, I think I may have been... unduly projecting certain feelings and emotions onto you in a way that wasn’t necessarily healthy.
ROSE: And for that, I am sorry.

You... don’t really know what to say. Knowing that Rose was trying to facilitate your coming out as early as two years ago made... a lot of sense. You think back to the questions she asked you, the things she told you, the fact that Jade had a massive folder of trans resources from Rose “in case she got curious.” It all comes together, and your mind is left in a bit of a fragile state. Are you actually trans? Or is it just because of external pressures? Maybe you were just copying Rose because you have no real personality of your own, a shell of a person imprinting on whoever—

KANAYA: June

You snap out of your thoughts and look at Kanaya. She’s holding your face in a way that feels stiff, but also comforting. Like she’s definitely done this exact thing before, gently papping your cheek with her hand.

KANAYA: I Know What You Are Going Through Right Now
KANAYA: You Are Wondering Whether Your Identity Is Genuine Or If It Is Just A Result Of Being Around Other People Of That Identity
JUNE: ...yeah. how did you know that?
KANAYA: I Have Gone Through A Similar Crisis In The Past
KANAYA: Where I Wondered Whether A Certain Charismatic Friend Of Mine Was Simply One To Show Me The Way To Womanhood Or If I Was Simply Copying Her
KANAYA: It Is A Consequence I Find Of Surrounding Yourself With Strong Personalities
KANAYA: But It Is Our Nature As Members Of Social Species To Take Little Bits And Pieces Of Other People And Add Them On To Ourselves
KANAYA: No Person Is Truly A Whole In And Of Themselves
KANAYA: And The Question Of Whether Or Not You Are A Girl Should Stem Less From Where That Desire Came From And More From The Joy That Being A Girl Produces In You

She stares at you, then lets go of your face, stepping away. She looks a little flustered.

KANAYA: At Least Thats What I Think
ROSE: I think that was very well said, Kanaya. Especially the part where you inferred I was charismatic.
KANAYA: That Was Certainly What I Was Communicating Yes
KANAYA: So June Are You Okay
JUNE: um... i think so!
JUNE: thanks kanaya, i think that really did help!
JUNE: so...
JUNE: you two are like? umm...
JUNE: together?

They look at each other and blush a bit. You feel a cold-hot buzz of jealousy wash over you. No, stupid Egbert, you should feel happy for them! I mean, Kanaya is great, and Rose is great, so it just makes sense! You immediately feel like a terrible person for feeling jealous. I mean, good grief you’ve barely actually been with Rose in person for like, a day total, the most significant part of which she spent throwing up black goop and spouting gibberish at you! That’s nothing in comparison to what, two years on a meteor with someone? Plus, who are you kidding, why would Rose ever choose you in the first place? You force on a smile. You are going to stay positive about this.

ROSE: Yes, we are. We’ve been together for a little over a month now following a particularly embarrassing overture that I will not recount.
KANAYA: Well I Thought It Was Rather Sweet
KANAYA: Though My Concern At That Particular Moment Slightly Outweighed Your Confession
JUNE: wait, what happened?
ROSE: Kanaya, please do not tell June what happened.
JUNE: kanaya you have to tell me what happened!
ROSE: June.
ROSE: Juniper P. Egbert.
ROSE: We made a pact earlier that I would not make fun of you a particular comment that I cannot refer to.
ROSE: I ask that we make a similar pact in that you will not attempt to find information about how exactly I confessed to Kanaya.
JUNE: hmmmm, i think that is fair!
JUNE: but just say that the information happens to come to me completely unprompted.
JUNE: if that’s the case i make no promises as to how i use that information!
ROSE: Could I persuade you to simply erase it from your mind and never speak of it to anyone?
JUNE: those are my terms rose!
ROSE: I’m afraid I cannot accept those terms June. This mortifying affair must stay between me, her, and possibly a clown that was hiding in the vents nearby.
JUNE: okay! so kanaya, how exactly did rose confess to you?
KANAYA: Well It Started With—
ROSE: FINE! I accept your terms. But this is extortion, and I will get you back for this, June.
JUNE: wait, why me and not kanaya too?
ROSE: Because Kanaya is my girlfriend and she gets at least one free pass a day for major transgressions.
JUNE: well you’re welcome to try to get me back, but remember rose! no lawyers.

Her eyes glint, playfully dangerous. A small smile flickers in the corner of her mouth, and you notice a curl of black smoke worming around her fingers.

ROSE: Oh, I was thinking something... extralegal anyways.
JUNE: oh! um, haha, maaaaaaaaybe i’ll reconsider then.
ROSE: Good. I was hoping I could manage to persuade you to the right course of action.
JUNE: i think that’s closer to intimidation than persuasion!
ROSE: Threats for extortion, tit for tat. I think it’s a fair deal.
JUNE: if you say so rose!
JUNE: wow, so you are together! that’s really cool. i don’t think i’ve actually met any homosexuals before! besides karkat, but he got really weird when i called him that!
ROSE: First off, June, it’s generally not considered polite terminology to call someone a homosexual, regardless of whether or not that is an accurate descriptor. It’s a bit clinical.
ROSE: And secondly, does that include yourself?
JUNE: what do you mean?
ROSE: June, are you attracted to women?
JUNE: what? why? i mean, i guess i am.
ROSE: Are you attracted to men?
JUNE: uhhhh, no? i don’t think so at least.
ROSE: Well then June I’m happy to say that you’ve been around a homosexual your entire life.
JUNE: i...
JUNE:
JUNE: so, i am a homosexual?
ROSE: Yes, though typically the used term is lesbian.
JUNE:
JUNE: huh!
JUNE: i don’t know why i didn’t put this together before!
KANAYA: Rose Has Been Quite Illuminating On The Subject
KANAYA: I Was Unaware There Was A Term For Women Who Exclusively Loved Women Before I Met Her
KANAYA: On Alternia It Is Assumed That You Are Attracted To All Genders
KANAYA: So It Was Nice To Know That I Am Not Alone In This
ROSE: And now we have June to add to the club. Welcome, June, to the wonderful world of lesbianism.
JUNE: hehe, is that like an amusement park? what sort of rides are there?
ROSE: None yet, I still haven’t found a way to alchemize a str—
KANAYA: ROSE

Rose bursts out laughing, and you don’t really get the joke, but you smile anyways. Kanaya’s frantic outbursts seem to really make Rose laugh, and Kanaya never seems to be in bad spritis afterward. The little bit of cold dead lead around your heart melts away. These two really do seem perfect for each other.

ROSE: Apologies, June, it’s just that Kanaya gets very cute whenever she’s flustered, and I have to take whatever opportunities I can.
KANAYA: You Are Murdering Me Rose This Is So Unfair
ROSE: Though it does call to mind, what other rides should there be? Perhaps if it’s along the lines of a traditional water park...

She gets a mischievous grin on her face as she turns to you.

ROSE: June, have you ever been to a water park with one of those large playgrounds? The ones often sat in a large pool of water?
JUNE: oh yeah! i think i went to one of those when i was younger.
ROSE: And do you remember a particular contraption that often resided at the top of those?
JUNE: ohhhh, you mean the bucket?
KANAYA: I Am Sorry The What
JUNE: yeah the bucket! it was like a big bucket of water that would fill up and splash down on everyone every few minutes! that was so much fun!
KANAYA: Rose This Is Not The Contraption You Were Referring To Right
KANAYA: The Structure That June Is Describing Is Just An Attempt At One Of Her Human Pranks Right
ROSE: I’m afraid not! They were a common fixture of water parks on Earth! There was even a particular one that was filled entirely with an approximation of green slime in an attempt to appeal to a branding factor.

Kanaya is bright green, staring at you and Rose like you have just said the most vile shit she’s ever heard in her entire life.

KANAYA: How
KANAYA: What Kind Of Debauched And Horrible Place Was Earth That Such Sordid Spectacles Were Allowed To Occur In Public
JUNE: kanaya what are you talking about?
JUNE: oh wait, i’m sorry! i forgot that trolls are really offended by cleaning products!
KANAYA: Cleaning Products What Are You Talking About
KANAYA: Ah
KANAYA: You Were Unaware Of The Significance That Buckets Have To Our
KANAYA: Particular Reproductive Proclivities
KANAYA: Which I Will Not Explain To You Just Yet
KANAYA: Though This Does Put The Particular Jape That You Pulled On Rose In Our Session More Into Context And Makes It Seem Less Like
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: Something Deliriously Inappropriate
JUNE: what jape?
JUNE: ohhhhh the bucket prank! i can see how out of context that would seem pretty weird, but it’s a pretty standard prank procedure!
ROSE: And yet another thing to add to my vengeance list.
ROSE: It’s getting longer and longer June. Watch yourself.
KANAYA: Should I Start One Up Too Considering That Not Seconds Before That I Was Pranked As Well
ROSE: Oh, we should compile them! That way we can plan our revenge together!
JUNE: what! no fair, that’s two against one!
KANAYA: Our Vengeance Cares Not For Numbers
KANAYA: Just Know That One Day We Will Get You Back For Your Many Transgressions
ROSE: I’m sorry June, but revenge must be served. Not now, but one day, you will rue the day you decided to prank Rose Lalonde and Kanaya Maryam.
JUNE: well if i have nothing else to lose, then i declare a prank war on you both!
ROSE: Then a war it shall be.
ROSE: Hold onto your ass Egbert, we’re going to be destroying it soon.
KANAYA: Phrasing
ROSE: Fuck.

You all have a good laugh at that, and as the woods start to disperse, you find yourself near the edge of a clearing. In the middle of it is a house you remember vaguely seeing once before: when you crashed straight into it on a jetpack. It sits on the edge of a cliff, a river flowing out of the woods straight through the house and cascading out the side in a waterfall. It’s at once beautiful and stark, a white minimalist façade crowned with an observatory, surrounded by the beautiful nature of the rural New York glade.

ROSE: So, this is it. Casa de Lalonde. Personally, I always thought it was a bit tacky in style, but I suppose the wealthy tend to indulge in spotless white to flaunt that they can afford to make it shine.
ROSE: We should still have a good amount of time before our meteor exits the dreambubble. So unless something unlikely happens—

You sense it before it happens. A shift in the breeze, the faint whistle of something moving through air, a glint of gold out of the corner of your eye. Instinctively, you fade into the breeze, blue whisps disturbed by a golden trident passing through your body, as Rose and Kanaya turn to react. You turn solid again just in time to catch the trident, whipping around and hurling it directly at your attacker. It whirls around in the air, boosted by a gust from your hands, and smacks the troll that threw it right in the forehead. She falls over, cursing and clutching her face.

MEENAH: OWWWWWW
MEENAH: W)(AT T)(--E S)(--ELL BLU—EGILL
JUNE: oh my god it’s you again! why do you keep trying to stab me?

The troll shrugs, rubbing her forehead and sneakily trying to wrap her hand back around her trident. You use the breeze to pull it back towards you, landing it in your hand.

MEENAH: hey give that back that my prawnperty
MEENAH: and i gotta try and shish kebab ya cause its fun
MEENAH: im a woman who likes to complete my work and youre like my blue whale
MEENAH: now gimme that back im urchin to stab you again
JUNE: no! you have to promise to not stab me from now on or i won’t give it back! how do you manage to find me every time i’m in a dreambubble?
MEENAH: dunno
MEENAH: i just get the eelin that theres a little blue dork that needs skewerin
MEENAH: idk clamao
JUNE: well either way! i’ll give you back your trident if you stop trying to stab or kill me!
MEENAH: ughhhhhhhhhh FIN
MEENAH: i swear to glub if i was empress i could just order you to get krilled
MEENAH: i agree to your stupid terms now gimme

You cautiously float back the trident, and she snatches it out of midair. She weighs it in her hands and eyes you, as if she’s considering whether or not to give it another go, when Kanaya and Rose step up besides you, Rose holding her needles and Kanaya... a tube of lipstick? In a silent threat. Meenah sighs and throws up her hands.

MEENAH: alright alright i get the picshore
MEENAH: ill tell fishka you said hi
MEENAH: peace lmao

Meenah disappears back into the woods, and you relax for a moment. You hadn’t noticed it, but you’ve risen a few inches in the air. You exhale and float back down, a soft burst of blue signaling your landing. Rose and Kanaya look at you with... surprise, maybe? Their lips are slightly parted, their grips on their weapons slack.

ROSE: June that was... quite impressive.
JUNE: hehe, well i have been doing a little training on the ship! ds and jade are really tough, so i’ve gotten used to surprise attacks!
JUNE: plus, it’d be really embarrassing if i let her stab me three times!
ROSE: But it’s not embarrassing for you to get stabbed by her two times?
JUNE: nope! everyone knows that the third time is the big one! that's how many times you have to hit the boss before it dies!
KANAYA: And You In This Scenario Are The Boss
JUNE: yep! i’m a pretty easy one most of the time because my weak point is just my entire body.
JUNE: but now i can turn into the wind and make none of me the weak point! so i’m basically invincible!
ROSE: I have seen you use that move once before, but it seems you have an even better grasp on it now that you have had some time to work on it.
JUNE: oh yeah! i wanted to say hi then but you disappeared!
JUNE: thanks for the distaction by the way rose!
ROSE: No problem June.
ROSE: it was all... a rose

You snort out loud as you all head into Rose’s house. It’s weird being in this place you’ve heard so much about! A massive statue of a wizard holding an orb crowns the room, which is cluttered with all sorts of kitsch and caboodle, like... a bronze statue of a vacuum? Rose stands frozen in the doorway, gazing at her old home like she's scanning for threats. She shakes her head, then rushes up the staircase, taking them a few at a time, with you and Kanaya starting close behind, making it up to her room on the second floor. She slams the door to her room after you, and lets out a held breath.

KANAYA: Rose Is There A Reason We Moved So Expeditiously Through Your House

Rose lies down on her bed and sighs. Kanaya slides up next to her, and you perch at the foot of her bed.

ROSE: I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that this place would bring back so many memories. Mostly unpleasant ones.
ROSE: It felt like there was just this soul-crushing weight from the moment I stepped in. And I didn’t feel safe until I closed the door.
JUNE: ...it was really that bad, huh?
ROSE: It was.

She turns over to face you. You can see the faintest hint of tears in her eyes.

ROSE: June, have you been back to your house since we left the session?
JUNE: uh, yeah? i go there all the time! i usually sleep on the ship so i don’t bother jade but i hang out there a lot!
ROSE: I see.
JUNE: but.
JUNE: i think i get what you mean.
JUNE: its mostly okay when ds or jade or nanna is there with me.
JUNE: but sometimes i’m alone at home, and everyone else is gone, and i just feel panicked. so i run up to my room.
JUNE: i thought i was just remembering when there were all those imps in my house, but i don’t think those guys were ever really scary.
JUNE: it’s like it stops being my home.
ROSE:
ROSE: It does feel like that. Like there’s someone in the house with me that I cannot let find me.
ROSE:
ROSE: I think it’s my mother.
ROSE: And I thought that I understood her. Like I was an adult that finally could see through her eyes.
ROSE: But the metaphorical shadow of the beast remains. And two years later I’m still afraid to leave my room.

Kanaya puts a warm hand on Rose’s head, and you scoot a bit closer.

JUNE: well, that’s okay! there’s plenty of fun stuff to do in a bedroom!

Rose raises her eyebrows.

ROSE: Oh? Like what, June? What sort of things would you like to do in my bedroom?
JUNE: UM.
KANAYA: You Humans Really Need To Work On Your Phrasing
KANAYA: You Make It Far Too Easy To Turn Your Phrases Into Innuendos When You Do Not Mean Them To Be
KANAYA: Also Rose You Have To Be Kinder To Poor June She Looks Like She Is About To Explode
ROSE: Now who’s having phrasing problems?
KANAYA: I
KANAYA: Okay I Am Now Dropping This Subject For All Of Us
JUNE: thank you kanaya!
ROSE: Well I suppose I have to now. You two are no fun.
ROSE: But you’re right. There’s plenty to do in here.

You scan over her room. Like the first time, it’s not what you expected. Clothes hung up in the closet and strewn about the floor are mostly pink and white, with splashes of purple coming only from a variety of knitting projects that lay abandoned, but clearly not forgotten. Maybe you could bring some of them back to her when you finally met up in person.

JUNE: rose, i gotta say, i am a little disappointed by your room!
ROSE: Oh? And why is that?
JUNE: well, it feels so... normal! it feels like all the walls should be painted black and there should be like, a coffin instead of a bed!
ROSE: June, I am not a vampire. If anything, the archetypical witch or warlock is something I’m a bit closer to. I do apologize for the lack of candles and ritual circles stained with blood, however.
ROSE: Kanaya, on the other hand...
JUNE: wait, kanaya, you’re a vampire?
KANAYA: Um
KANAYA: Well Yes Though The Terminology And Circumstances Are A Bit Different I Am A Vampire
KANAYA: And Yes As Much As I Am Somewhat Happy With This Development It Also Coincides With A Quite Upsetting Memory That I Do Not Like To Recount
JUNE: okay! well consider it not brought up even though i am really curious!
JUNE: i was just thinking that rose’s room would be more... gothy?
ROSE: Well, I’m sorry to disappoint. My mother unfortunately had the greater amount of control over my wardrobe and décor, and so my gothicness was limited to what I could deface or fashion myself.
JUNE: i guess so! but what about that dress you were wearing when you went grimdark?
ROSE: That was a product of Kanaya’s skill in fashion, with some input for myself. That was actually the thing that inspired our dress-up ruse.
ROSE: Why do you ask, June? Is it some kind of subconscious desire to become, as it is, the eponymous goth girl?
JUNE: um!
JUNE: maybe? mostly i’ve just been wearing bright stuff because that’s what jade has, but...
JUNE: you know what! maybe i do want to be a goth!
ROSE: Music to my ears. Kanaya, we have another convert to the dark side. Shall we get to work?
KANAYA: I Mean Rainbow Drinkers Are Creatures Of The Day And You Are Quite Literally A Light Player
KANAYA: But Yes I Am Ready To Engage In Another Round Of Putting Clothes On June.

Rose and Kanaya take you through every step. First, they settle into a routine familiar to you all, though you’ve never seen it from this perspective, both of them muttering to themselves about what to include. Maybe Fishnets? Yes, she seems to like skirts, those would pair well. And The Shoes What About The Shoes. I’m unaware of how well she can walk in heels, so let’s just go with some docs. And For The Top. Perhaps Long-Sleeved, Open Shoulders? Excellent taste, June how do you feel about this so far? They ask for your input at every step, bringing you into the process. By the end, you have a very cute outfit put together, finishing with a black hairband with a swishy breath symbol on it. They sit you on the bed to do your makeup, Rose taking out an eyeliner pen while Kanaya holds a mirror up to your face. Now the key to good eyeliner is just to practice. I was self-taught in the matter, mimicking my mother. Just draw the liner across your upper lid—careful, eyes closed—then let it trail off to a wing. Fill it out a bit, trace the bottom lid, join them together, then try to imitate what you’ve done on this side. It takes a long time to get good at it, so don’t get discouraged. She caps the pen, satisfied with her work, and switches place with Kanaya, who takes out a tube of black lipstick, very carefully selecting it from her bag and holding it away from all of you as she uncaps it. She takes your face with one hand, the other positioned to put on your lipstick. Alright Pucker Your Lips June. Just Draw Like This And Make Sure To Get The Peaks Near The Center. Then Roll Your Lips Together. Yes Perfect.

It’s all quite a lot, but you don’t want it to stop, the little streams of praise, the fact that these two wonderful girls are taking you through these processes that you have no idea how to do. You feel like it should feel patronizing, but you can sense a tenderness in their actions. They aren’t showing you the way to a true, rigid femininity, but accepting you as you are, and helping you with the things you want to be helped with. You would start crying if you didn’t want to ruin the great job Rose did on your eyeliner. And she did do a great job! When you look in the mirror, you don’t look like you ever thought you could, cool and pretty and different in a way you didn’t think you could ever be? Even when you became a girl, you tended to dress pretty normally. You felt like you had to be a normal girl before anything else, but you take a bit of comfort in the fact that there is no real normal. Not anymore. And if you want to be goth you can! In that way, being a goth is a lot like being a girl. This is a stunning and incredible revelation!

ROSE: Well June, not to self-aggrandize, but you make a pretty cute goth girl.
JUNE: holy shit rose i look so cute!!!
KANAYA: You Are Not Going To Hear Any Disagreement From Me
KANAYA: You Look Wonderful
JUNE: *sigh*
JUNE: i just wish i could look like this more often!
ROSE: Well, June, I have good news.
ROSE: There is nothing stopping you from looking like this. I can write a list of the alchemization codes for these items. You may need to do a bit of memorizing, but I believe in your mental capabilities.
JUNE: no that’s not what i meant!
JUNE: i meant that
JUNE: i wish i looked more like a girl!

Your outburst causes them to look at you, and you curse yourself internally. Fuck, you’ve ruined it, you were all having such a great time until you opened your trap and killed the atmosphere. Now it’s probably going to be an awkward few minutes until they pass out of the dreambubble and they can leave you behind. They’re probably just putting up with you out of obligation. You overstayed your welcome and—

KANAYA: June
KANAYA: Are You Okay

You look at her, tears forming in your eyes. She and Rose take your arms and sit you down on the bed. Your eyeliner is running. You probably look like an idiot, sobbing into your shirt as they sit to either side of you, Kanaya rubbing your back as Rose just looks at you, concern in her violet eyes. But they don’t say it. They just sit with you until you’ve cried yourself out, feeling a weary emptiness wash over your body.

JUNE: i just...
JUNE: i’ve been having so much fun these past few weeks! getting to be a girl, exploring who i want to be!
JUNE: but.
JUNE: fuck.
JUNE: sometimes i go to bed at night and stare at myself in the mirror and i just feel like shit!
JUNE: and i feel like i will never be a real girl because i look, well. the way i look. and it just feels so bad and i don’t know how to stop it!

Rose looks at you, concern in her eye. She puts a hand on your knee, opens her mouth, then closes it, as if she’s trying to think of the perfect thing to say.

ROSE: June.
ROSE: I wish I could tell you there was some magic solution to this. But I don’t think I can.
ROSE: I know it hurts. Please understand that I have been in your exact position before.
ROSE: The only thing to do on a wider level is to grow to accept yourself as you are. And I know it might not mean much to you, but June, you are beautiful. Genuinely, with no makeup, no nice clothes, you are still beautiful.
ROSE: And I wish that I could show you how I see you. But ultimately, it’s not my decision, and not my journey. It’s yours.
ROSE: But I will be with you through this as much as I can.
KANAYA: As Will I
KANAYA: Although To What Extent We Will Be Able To See Each Other
KANAYA: And
KANAYA: While Rose Was Right That You Should Try Your Best To Accept Yourself As You Are
KANAYA: I Should Mention That There Are Certain Things One Can Take To Feminize Ones Appearance So To Speak
JUNE: wait, there are?
ROSE: I was going to bring that up afterwards! I just didn’t want to give June the same unrealistic standards and expectations for femininity that plagued my childhood.
ROSE: And June, you don’t know about hormones? Did Jade not give you the resource packet?
JUNE: i mean i have been trying to read it! but rose.
JUNE: there’s so much there and i have no idea where any of it is!
JUNE: it’s like 500 Gigabytes!
ROSE: Terabytes, actually, I wanted to be thorough.
ROSE: And what do you mean you couldn’t find it? I included a very comprehensive index and glossary in text files in the Meta-Resources folder.
ROSE:
ROSE: Okay I just heard myself and I understand now why you haven’t found the information. I’m very sorry.
ROSE: Hormone Replacement Therapy is a process where you take medicine to make changes to your body, mostly in terms of fat distribution, hair growth, and other small changes, though your mileage may vary.
JUNE: fat distribution?
JUNE: do you mean, like?
ROSE: Yes, I am talking about breast growth. Although distribution also occurs in the thighs, face, and other areas.
JUNE: oh! well that’s, um, good to know!
JUNE: i was just wondering because...
JUNE: um.
ROSE: What were you wondering, June?
KANAYA: Yes I Am Also Very Curious
KANAYA: What About The Subject Of Breast Growth Has You Ruminating
JUNE: well don’t say it like that?
ROSE: Would you prefer “June was thinking about titties?”
JUNE: what, no!!
JUNE: i mean! i just saw that you two...
JUNE: and i was wondering...
ROSE: Ah, I understand.
ROSE: June was thinking about our titties, not simply the concept as a whole.
JUNE: i!
JUNE: just!
JUNE: don’t say it like that!!!
JUNE: i have absolutely no intentions towards your titties! in any way!
ROSE: I do believe the lady is protesting a bit too much. Or probreasting I suppose.
JUNE: i am not! i am probreasting i mean protesting an absolutely normal amount!
JUNE: ...wow, now i know how ds feels.
ROSE: Oh? And what exactly are they feeling?
JUNE: that is confidential information! we are bound by the no-longer-bros code to keep each other’s secrets!
ROSE: I will find out one day June. Give it time. Revenge and secrets are two of my favorite things, and they all the sweeter when left to ferment.
ROSE: But back on the subject, would you like to try out hormone therapy?
JUNE: yeah! i mean if it is an option i’d really like it!
ROSE: Perfect. Then we can start you right now.

She quickly grabs a few items out of her sylladex, and in her hands appear a small vial and a couple of needles.

JUNE: wow, um, that was fast! and, uh, what are the needles for?
ROSE: Apologies, but the only way I could find to alchemize it at the moment is in a liquid form. You’ll need an injection once a week, we’ll start you out on a standard dose, .2ml.

As Rose starts to rattle off some medical jargon, and what you’ll need to do to keep yourself safe and within recommended levels, you start to sweat. You were never good with shots, and the idea of having to take one regularly is nerve-wracking, not to mention giving it to yourself. You aren’t sure if you’re going to be able to work up the courage.

KANAYA: June
KANAYA: I Understand That At First The Needles Might Seem An Unpleasant Way To Take This Medicine
KANAYA: But It Really Is Not As Bad As It Seems
KANAYA: And If You Want
KANAYA: We Can Assist With The First Injection
JUNE: um.
JUNE: would you mind? i don’t think i can handle sticking myself with a needle, at least not at first.
KANAYA: We Would Not Mind At All

They set you once again on the bed, Rose positioned on your right with the medicine and the needles, Kanaya on your left. She takes your hand, holding it and gently stroking it with her thumb for reassurance. Rose unwraps the first needle, gently screwing it onto the syringe and pulling back on the plunger. She speaks in a low, calming voice.

ROSE: First, of course, we take the drawing needle. Estradiol is a thick substance, and requires a wider needle than would be comfortable for the injection.

She sees the nervousness on your face and smiles, soft and comforting.

ROSE: Don’t worry. Thanks to you, I’m quite the expert on needlework.

You let out a small chuckle, and she laughs. The light outside has turned to evening, casting long shadows across all of you, painting you in darkness on the floor: the Seer, calm and measured, the nervous Heir, and the comforting Sylph. Rose pushes the needle through the rubber seal, disturbing the thick liquid inside. She pushes the air out of the syringe, a kaleidoscope of bubbles in the thick oil, then draws back again, filling up the cylinder with a dose of liquid potential. Two taps to the syringe, sending out the air bubbles trapped inside. Carefully, she draws the needle out of the liquid and caps it, slowly replacing it with a thinner, shorter needle. She looks at you and nods.

ROSE: Now, June. There’s no better way to say this.
ROSE: I’m going to need you to lift up your skirt.
JUNE: h-huh?
ROSE: Just a little bit. This is an intramuscular injection, and the upper thigh is the best place to inject.
JUNE: rose, are you sure there is not another place to inject?
ROSE: There is one, but I don’t think you’ll like it any better.
JUNE: i’ll take anything over there!
ROSE: The other place is your ass.
JUNE:
JUNE: okay thigh it is!

You lift your skirt a few inches, just enough to expose the proper target. Rose brushes your thigh, and you shiver. She takes two fingers, spreading them over the intended injection area, pressing firmly. She looks into your eyes for silent confirmation, and you nod. Kanaya squeezes your hand, her odd warmth heating your side as Rose curls her hand into position, then presses the needle downwards. It hurts at first, a flash of the last time cold steel pierced your body, bright crimson on black and white, pervades your mind. But you take a deep breath. You aren’t on the battlefield anymore. Rose is fine, gently pressing the plunger down, her lips pursed in concentration, worrying her tongue and smudging her black lip gloss, wielding a different kind of needle, one for creation and change, not self-destruction. You picked up her Thorns of Oglogoth after the battle. You hoped to give them back to her one day, but when you held them your mind started to whisper black thoughts, and your skin felt like it was covered in cold fire. Maybe you could de-alchemize them, give Rose a weapon that won’t hurt her. You owe it to her for being such a good friend all these years.

And on your left, Kanaya, a troll you hadn’t met until today, but who had been making sure you were okay through the whole process. Every time you were about to spiral, to turn to self-loathing, she had talked you out of it. You want to do something nice for her too, after everything she’s done for you. Her lips are murmuring quiet reassurances to you, inaudible, but the message is clear. It’s enough to make you almost entirely forget the needle in your thigh.

And just like that, Rose pulls the needle out, and Kanaya thumbs a bandage over it. You brush your skirt down and breathe out.

JUNE: so, is that is?
ROSE: That’s it.
JUNE: well that wasn’t too bad! i think i can handle it on my own!
JUNE: thanks rose, thanks kanaya! you two are really great.
KANAYA: You Are Quite Welcome June
ROSE: Indeed. We are more than willing to help in whatever ways we can.
ROSE: And, we can count that as one point off of the revenge list, as I was able to stab you today. It’s only fair.
JUNE: what! but you were stabbing me to help me, how does that count as revenge?
ROSE: Hm, perhaps you are right. Alright, point rescinded, I will have to find another way to take revenge. Thank you, June.
JUNE: wait, no actually it should definitely count!
KANAYA: Too Late Egbert
KANAYA: There Is No Double Revenge Reacharound Pointlosses In This Game
KANAYA: It Seems You Have Lost The Pranksters Gambit To Our Snarky Hoofbeastshit
JUNE: dammit! i’m off my game today! well, the next time we meet, i’ll be sure to up the gambit!
ROSE: I’m sure you will. I missed the competition if I’m honest. Dave gets far too passive these days in our verbal sparring matches, and I could use a new partner.
JUNE: well, i’ll be sure to be good enough for you!
ROSE: I know you will, June.

She smiles and pulls you into a hug, Kanaya joining in a second later. You bask in their warmth and comfort, and when you separate, Rose gives you the necessary alchemization codes for your clothes and hormones. You say your goodbyes, the dream fades, and you wake up in your bed on the ship, the memory of touch clinging to your skin.

ROSE: Well, that was a lovely time. It’s good to see that we were right about her.
KANAYA: I Am Quite Glad We Got To Spend Some Time With Her
KANAYA: And I Must Say
KANAYA: She Looked Rather Fetching In That Outfit
ROSE: Oh? Why do you bring it up, Kanaya? Are you perhaps harboring some feelings for our dear blue friend?
KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: Can I Not Simply Appreciate When A Woman Has An Appealing Aesthetic And Appearance
ROSE: Of course you can. But it was the first thing you brought up when she left, so it must be a pressing matter in your mind.
KANAYA:
KANAYA: I
KANAYA: What Was It That She Said
KANAYA: Am Human Pleading For The Five
ROSE: I’m not bothered, Kanaya! I agree that she’s quite pretty, and a charming person to talk to. I missed her a lot, and she seems to have grown into her own as a person.
KANAYA: Hm
KANAYA: Rose Are You Sure You Are Not Just Projecting Your Possible Feelings For June On To Me
KANAYA: You Seem To Have A Lot Of Positive Things To Say About Her
ROSE:
ROSE: I plead the fifth.
KANAYA: So It Seems We Will Both Not Talk About Our Very Attractive Friend And Potential Feelings We Have For Her Again
ROSE: Agreed. We take this secret to the grave.

You two descend back into the meteor, passing by the open room where Dave and Karkat are lounging, watching some movie on the TV

KARKAT: DAVE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU NOT GETTING ABOUT THIS MOVIE
KARKAT: “IN WHICH A VIOLETBLOOD PORTRAYED BY TROLL ADAAMN SANLER FALLS FOR AN OLIVEBLOOD WHOSE MEMORY IS RESET UPON EACH MORNING WAKING UP, AND TRIES TO WOO HER OVER THE COURSE OF—”
DAVE: no i get it its troll fifty first dates
DAVE: im just saying that this has to be a legit nightmare for the girl right
KARKAT: NO, IT’S ROMANTIC! EVERY DAY EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN’T REMEMBER HIM, HE DOES HIS BEST TO TAKE HER OUR OF THE ETERNAL TIME LOOP OF HER OWN MIND!
DAVE: dude
DAVE: i know shit about time loops trust me this is the most horrifying shit ever
DAVE: imagine waking up one morning and finding out youre pregnant with adam sandlers child
DAVE: i would fuckin go into a straight killing frenzy if i knew the fuckin child of the waterboy was doing kickflips in my womb
DAVE: she was right to kick his ass that one time i would have gone for straight homicide
KARKAT: I MEAN IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE FUCKING LITERAL DAVE.
KARKAT: SEE, HENREE IS AFRAID OF COMITTMENT, AND BY GIVING ALL OF HIS DEDICATION TO LEWCEE, HE SHOWS GROWTH FROM THE MINDLESS QUADRANT-FILLER HE WAS BEFORE, ABLE TO GIVE FULL SUPPORT—
DAVE: what the fuck do you mean its not literal they have a child at the end
DAVE: shit those stupid home videos could be shopped and youd never know it and youd just be gaslit into being adam sandlers baby mama
DAVE: oh shit hey rose how was hell
KARKAT: OH NO THE FUCK YOU DON’T STRIDER, THIS IS NOT OVER!
DAVE: just more of the same bullshit dead trolls or did you actually see john or jade for once
ROSE: No, I didn’t see John.
DAVE: fuckin told you, hes never gonna show up—
ROSE: Her name is June now.
DAVE: wait what
DAVE: karkat shut off the tv and stop shouting i gotta process this

Karkat complains a bit more, but does shut off the TV. Dave turns to face you, sitting backwards on the couch.

DAVE: so rose if im hearing you correctly
DAVE: john is a girl now and her name is june
KANAYA: Correct
DAVE: and when the fuck did this happen
ROSE: According to her, she came out close to one month ago.
DAVE: okay that makes a bit more sense
DAVE: i thought you and kanaya had used some fucked-up transgenderism magics to change my best bro into a girl like some one-off anime episode
KARKAT: DAVE WHAT THE FUCK.
KARKAT: I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST BRO.
DAVE: well obvs you are now that june isnt a bro anymore
DAVE: you two were pretty neck and neck there karkles like two cars zoomin down the track plastered in pictures of hot babes and beer ads
DAVE: screamin at each other as a bunch of rednecks lose their shit in the stands and start throwing popcorn at their childrens fragile little skulls
DAVE: but then she apparently took a fuckin swerve straight into wall that is being a girl and her car exploded into flames
DAVE: so congrats karkat you won
KARKAT: WOW. THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY.
ROSE: I also resent the implication that we would turn someone transgender against their own will. We worked very hard to explicitly not do that.
DAVE: i mean yeah that makes sense but
DAVE: i dunno
DAVE: like this shit just seems a bit statistically unlikely
DAVE: like what its you kanaya and now june
DAVE: shits turning into a fucking coding convention over here
DAVE: gonna arrive in the new session only to be inundated by an avalanche of pink and blue thigh-highs and cat ear headphones
ROSE: That’s an oddly specific reference there, Dave. Do you have something to tell us?
DAVE: i dont have to tell you shit rose im just an internet-savvy man
DAVE: i know the basic in and outs of plenty of fuckin internet subcultures like some turntech nomad darting in and out of forums like a fuckin ghost in the machine
KARKAT: DAVE I HONESTLY CAN’T SEE WHY YOU’RE MAKING SUCH A BIG FUCKING DEAL OUT OF THIS.
KARKAT: PEOPLE CHANGE THEIR GENDERS ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND YOU’RE BEING A COMPLETE ASSHOLE ABOUT IT.
KARKAT: LIKE I’M TRANSGENDER BUT IS THERE A BIG FUCKING RUCKUS HAPPENING ABOUT IT? NO!
DAVE: wait karkat you never told me that you were trans
KARKAT: EXACTLY! BECAUSE IT’S NOT A BIG FUCKING DEAL! IT’S A COMPLETELY FUCKING NORMAL THING THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME SO I DON’T TALK ABOUT IT!
DAVE: i mean its kind of a big deal to me that all my friends decided to jump on the gender train
DAVE: like next thing youre gonna be telling me vriska was trans
KANAYA: She Was
DAVE:
DAVE: okay thats a swing and a miss but itd be like if you told me davesprite was trans
DAVE: cant get me on that hes part me and i cant imagine that birds have a lot of opinions on gender
ROSE:
DAVE: rose
DAVE: rose dont give me that look
DAVE: if you tell me that davesprite is an estrogen addict now im gonna do an acrobatic fucking pirouette of the handle
DAVE: i dont bust that one out often anymore so you know its a real threat
ROSE: No one else on the ship has revealed their identity to me directly, if that’s what you’re asking.
DAVE: that is absolutely fucking not what i am asking
DAVE: that phrasing makes me think that davesprite took the goddamn matrix redpill
ROSE: Dave, I’m honestly getting a bit tired of this transphobic tirade. I’m going to leave until you can figure out how to behave like an adult about this.
DAVE: what do you mean transphobic im
DAVE:
DAVE: shit that is exactly what this looks like huh
DAVE: okay
DAVE: okay im really sorry i fucked up big time
DAVE: i was just running my big fucking mouth again and didnt realize how this looked
KARKAT: YEAH, THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP!
KARKAT: NICE JOB TRIPPING OVER YOUR OWN BULGE STRIDER. LITERALLY EVERY OTHER PERSON CURRENTLY IN THIS ROOM IS TRANS AND YOU JUST STARTED COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW THERE ARE TOO MANY TRANSGENDER PEOPLE IN OUR FRIEND GROUP.
DAVE: yeah thats totally fuckin deserved fuck
DAVE: i just
DAVE: the davesprite thing
DAVE: shit is that even their name now?
ROSE: While again, I’m reluctant to out someone when they haven’t given me explicit permission, I have heard they are going by DS now. They/them pronouns.
DAVE: okay
DAVE: okay got it june ds june ds june ds june ds
DAVE: gotta drill it down into my thick texas skull it might take a while but i will get it
DAVE: so im sorry for being a transphobic dickhead to all of you but
DAVE:
DAVE: is it okay if its not something i want to talk about right now
DAVE: like not my fuckup feel free to fuckin lambaste me for that shit as much as you want but like
DAVE: stuff genderwise
DAVE: with me
ROSE: Of course Dave. While you have just offended likely more than half of the transgender population of the known universe with your remarks, I’m not going to push you to do anything you aren’t ready for.
ROSE: I’m going to head back to my room now. But if you ever want to talk.
ROSE: I’m here.
DAVE:
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: thanks rose

You stand at the doorway to Jake’s room. After your conversation with Roxy the other day, you realized that you’ve been running this whole operation on autopilot for far too long. You couldn’t just let yourself fade away into obscurity anymore. You hadn’t realized that you were essentially going to kill yourself. You just thought of it as... not existing anymore, which you realize isn’t a meaningful difference, it’s just suicide gussied up with an air of cosmic metanarrative importance. You are here. You are now. You are breathing. And you need to talk to the members of your crew to figure out what the hell you all are going to do after this is all over. And that starts with Jake English, your biological father. You knock on the door.

JUNE: hey jake? can i talk to you real quick?

You hear a bumping noise, and some quiet, startled cursing.

JAKE: Ah june if you would just hold your horses for one second ill be right there!

After a few moments, and some rustling noises, the door opens to reveal Jake. He’s standing casually, hands in his pockets, and to an unfamiliar observer, he looks the picture of his T.V. persona: brash, mustachioed, with a beaming smile. That was, for a while, how you saw him too. He was so quiet on the victory platform, so subdued, but you figured he had just gotten over himself as you all moved to Earth C. But now, you have to look deeper. There’s a twinge of fear in his eyes. His hands are shaking. And looking at his shorts, which is absolutely not something you would normally do, you see... is that a gun poking out of his pocket?

You don’t see Jake English, action aficionado and star of the silver screen. You see a man that is afraid for his life. A man that is terrified of you.

You wrap your arms around him. You see him start to take the gun out of his pocket, but he freezes as soon as you grab him into a hug. For a moment, you’re holding a statue. You hear the gun clatter to the ground, and he slowly wraps his arms around you.

JUNE: jake... i am so, so sorry.
JUNE: i’m not going to hurt you. i won’t make you disappear.
JUNE: never, jake. never.

He starts to sob into your shoulder, wailing apologies to you between wracking gasps. You rub circles on his back, telling him that it’s all going to be okay, that you won’t hurt him, that he doesn’t have to worry. You feel your heart breaking. Grappling with the pure scope of your power, the ability to change anything, to remake and destroy anyone in an instant, is something that you don’t do very often. When you do, it tends to make you go into the kind of existential depressive spiral that, say, prevents you from leaving your bed for years. Starting this endeavor was the first time you used it since... well since the Lord English fight. And before that, you hadn’t used it since the game. You are the most powerful thing that has maybe ever existed, but you never saw yourself as that. But Jake has. And you’re going to have to deal with that.

After a few minutes, you and Jake sit down on the bed. He wipes his face with his shirt and looks at you, eyes red.

JAKE: Oh im sorry june i cant fathom what came over me just then! I dont know why i thought—
JUNE: jake, you don’t have to apologize for being scared of me.
JUNE: as far as you knew i was coming around right then and there to erase you from existence!
JAKE: Well still thats no reason to—
JUNE: jake, you were scared. it’s okay, i’m not hurt!
JAKE: I was ready to blow a gasket in this case yours! With a gun! I was going to shoot you!
JUNE: i know, jake. it’s okay.
JAKE: Pardon my language june but what fucking part of that is okay?
JUNE: you were scared beyond belief, and you thought i would drag the rest of you with me.
JUNE: i did want to do that at first! i didn’t even realize how badly i wanted to not exist. but now i realize how fucked-up that was.
JUNE: and i want all of us to keep going on! and i had to let you know that i wasn’t going to make you disappear!
JUNE: i was never really that good at magic anyways.

Jake lets out a soft chuckle at that, and sighs. He glances over to where his gun is laying on the floor.

JAKE: Terrible gun safety. Grandma would have given me a real earful for just dropping a gun like that. Hell i had the safety off in my pocket real boneheaded move. Though i guess that fits the last name!
JAKE: ...
JAKE: I never thought i could do it you know. To hurt... kill one of my friends with those guns.
JAKE: Hells to betsy the only thing ive ever killed with those guns were the lusii that walloped me on the island and the skeletal scoundrels in sburb!
JAKE: If you had asked me say a month ago “howsit jake think you could pull the curtains on one of your good chums” i would have told you to get out and tango!
JAKE: But then...

He buries his face in his hands. The tears flow between his fingers, dripping down to the cold metal floor.

JAKE: Then i killed the only man ive ever loved.
JAKE: And i can tell myself it was all bluster from our friends being gone. Jane... jade... those poor girls. I truly bungled up the lines of every dame i crossed paths with. And the fellows too.
JAKE: But the truth is june?
JAKE: Im a coward.
JAKE: I was so terrified to die that i killed him. I couldnt sit him down and talk this out like a man so i killed him like a dog.
JUNE: jake, there was no other choice. we tried talking to dirk, but he wouldn’t listen.
JAKE: But what if we didnt try hard enough?
JAKE: What if all he needed was a good talking to or hell someone to spend time with that wasnt constantly leading him around the bush with mixed messages!
JUNE: jake, you can’t blame yourself for this. this wasn’t your fault!
JAKE: But what if it is? What if i could have stopped dirk by just being a better pal? Or a better lover?
JUNE: jake. if you’re guilty, then so am i.
JUNE: that’s the reason this whole thing started. i was too apathetic to even get up and see that my friends were going insane!
JUNE: i was the leader of our group! but when push came to shove i just.
JUNE: laid down and waited to die.
JUNE: for the universe to forget about me, so that it could move on without me.
JUNE: but it doesn’t work like that.
JUNE: we have to keep going. we have the power to change things for the better.
JUNE: and when our friends start acting distant, we have to pull them in closer.
JUNE: i lost dave, i lost jade, i lost everybody. i almost lost you.
JUNE: and i am not going to lose any more friends. okay?
JAKE: ...Okay.

He sniffs, taking off his glasses and wiping his eyes. He rubs the lenses on his shirt before putting them back on and smiling at you.

JAKE: You know june? You really do know how to cheer a fellow up!
JUNE: so, how are you feeling?
JAKE: Oh like shit!
JAKE: But better.
JAKE: So what did you come here for besides the whole “im-not-going-to-kill-you” shebang?
JUNE: well, i’m asking everyone on the ship about what we should do next. y’know, assuming we’re successful!
JAKE: Well ill admit ive talked a bit to roxy on that matter.
JAKE: And his suggestion of living out in a cave in relative obscurity
JAKE: Well i have to say it holds some appeal!
JAKE: After i left the island i think i was so desperate for attention that well i plum burnt myself out!
JAKE: I never did take the time to acclimate properly before taking the diving bell down so to speak and it gave me quite a nasty case of the social bends!
JAKE: First with my chums and then with an audience of millions of people!
JAKE: I dont want to be cooped up alone again but i think one or two friends and some time out of the spotlight would well hit the spot.
JAKE: I dont know if im ready to jump back into the fracas just yet. Maybe after some time.
JUNE: okay jake. that sounds like a good plan to me.
JUNE: we’ll find you and roxy the comfiest cave on earth c to hole up in for a while so you can chill out!
JUNE: you deserve it, jake.

You give him a tight hug, and smile, heading towards the door.

JAKE: So do you june.
JUNE: what? a cave?
JAKE: Rest june! Youve been running yourself ragged all over this ship trying to make sure the timeline stays on track! The bags under your eyes are so large you could stash a corellian diamond in them and have room for dessert!
JAKE: Please take care of yourself.
JUNE:
JUNE: yeah. thanks jake, i will!
JUNE: i just gotta talk to terezi and rose, and then i’ll get some sleep!
JAKE: Ill hold you to that! If i hear you pacing up a ruckus therell be trouble young lady!
JUNE: pfft, you’re not my dad!
JAKE: Ectobiologically speaking yes i am!
JUNE: hehe, fair enough.
JUNE: i’ll see you later jake.

One down, two to go. Terezi’s room is close, so you’ll head there next. You pause at the door. You two haven’t really talked one-on-one since... well. Needless to say, it’s been a hectic few days. You don’t even know what she thinks, and you feel like a terrible person for just abandoning the person you had sex with and who hatched your egg like she was a one-night-stand, and not someone you deeply care about, and

OH MY J3GUS JUN3 G3T YOUR 4SS 1N H3R3 4ND STOP MONOLOGU1NG ABOUT WH4T 4 T3RR1BL3 P3RSON YOU 4R3

FUCK you forgot she could do that. You open the door and Terezi is lounging on the bed, grinning at you sharply.

TEREZI: H3Y JUN3
TEREZI: N1C3 OF YOU TO DROP 1N
TEREZI: WHY DON’T 1 G3T R1GHT 1NTO B4R1NG 4LL OF MY D33P3ST TR4UM4S 4ND R3GR3ETS
TEREZI: TH3N W3’LL H4V3 4 GOOD CRY 4BOUT 1T 4ND TH3N 1’LL T3LL YOU WH4T 1 PL4N TO DO W1TH TH3 R3ST OF MY 1MMORT4L L1FE
TEREZI: OPT1ON4LLY W3 COULD FUCK AGAIN
TEREZI: WH3R3 TH4T GO3S 1N TH3 PROC3SS 1S UP TO YOU >;]
JUNE:
JUNE: i
JUNE: what the fuck terezi?
TEREZI: JUN3
TEREZI: YOU HUM4NS 4R3 CONST4NTLY UND3R3ST1M4T1NG HOW LOUD YOUR PL4TON1C P1TY P4RT13S G3T
TEREZI: 1 H34RD 3V3RY WORD YOU S4ID TO J4P3
JUNE: ugh, his name is jake!
TEREZI: NO W41T YOU’R3 R1GHT
TEREZI: 1T’S JOK3, HOW COULD 1 FORG3T D34R JOK3
TEREZI: MY APOLOG13S JUN3 >:D

You feel a burning in your chest at her disrespecting Jake. Hasn’t he been through enough to not get casually belittled? There was always something about Terezi that got under your skin, that compelled and repulsed you at the same time. She was smart, decisive, and could be extraordinarily kind, but she more often than not tended to be annoying, inappropriate at just the wrong (right) times, and just plain infuriating.

TEREZI: WO4H JUN3, S4V3 TH3 D1RTY T4LK FOR L4T3R >;]
JUNE: ugh, terezi!
TEREZI: OR R1GHT NOW 1F YOU’R3 TH4T 3XC1T3D
JUNE:
JUNE:
JUNE: *sigh*
JUNE: no, not right now terezi. can you cut the “i know what you’re thinking” act already? it isn’t cute, i am trying to actually talk to you, okay?
TEREZI:
TEREZI: OK4Y
JUNE: okay?
TEREZI: 1’LL TON3 1T DOWN 4 B1T
TEREZI: M4YB3 FOR TH3 FUTUR3 W3 SHOULD F1ND SOM3 SORT OF K1SM3T1C S4F3WORD
JUNE: honestly, i think that’s a good idea. what should it be?
TEREZI: HMMMMMMM
TEREZI: HOW 4BOUT
TEREZI: PCHOOOOO
JUNE: okay now you’re just trying to piss me off.
TEREZI: WH4T 4BOUT YOU SM4RT4SS, 4NY BR1GHT 1D34S?
JUNE: okay, how about
JUNE: heads?
TEREZI:
TEREZI: TH4T 1S 4 LOW BLOW 3GB3RT
TEREZI: W3LL DON3 >:]
JUNE: hehe, thanks.
JUNE: so.
JUNE: does setting up a safeword mean we’re gonna.
JUNE: you know.
JUNE: be a regular thing?

Terezi leans back on the bed. Her hair is messy around her horns, and she has a thoughtful look on her face.

TEREZI: 1 DUNNO
TEREZI: DO YOU W4NT US TO B3?
JUNE: ...
JUNE: honestly i don’t know?
JUNE: just so fucking much has gone on lately. and like, i had a lot of fun!
JUNE: god i’m sounding like a real asshole right now aren’t i?
TEREZI: NOT R34LLY FOR ONC3
TEREZI: 1 H4D 4 LOT OF FUN TOO, BUT L1KE, 1 DON’T N33D TO H4V3 S3X
TEREZI: L1K3 1T’S 4 FUN TH1NG TO DO BUT 1 DON’T H4V3 A DR1V3 FOR 1T
TEREZI: 4ND B3FOR3 YOU 4SK NO YOU D1DN’T T4K3 4DV4NT4G3 OF M3
TEREZI: YOU’R3 MY FR13ND 4ND 4T TH3 T1M3 YOU R3AAAAAALLY N33D3D FOR SOM3ON3 TO G3T YOU OUT OF YOUR H34D
TEREZI: 4ND 4LSO OUT OF TH3 CLOS3T BUT TH4T W4S JUST A S1D3 PRODUCT
TEREZI: TURNS OUT YOU L1K3 TO B3 TH3 G1RL 1N B3D 4ND OUT OF 1T >;]
JUNE: jeez, i still can’t believe that was what got me out of the closet!
TEREZI: I M34N T33N JUN3 C4M3 OUT 4FT3R R3W4TCH1NG 4 SH1TTY N1CK C4G3 MOV13
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK YOU COM3 OUT ON TOP 1N T3RMS OF COM1NG OUTS
TEREZI: NOT TH4T YOU COULD 3V3R TOP >:]
JUNE: hey, that is absolutely not fair! i just... haven’t had the opportunity yet!
TEREZI: W3LL YOU’LL H4V3 TO PROV3 1T TO M3 TH3N
TEREZI: ON3 W4Y OR 4NOTH3R <3<
JUNE: well maybe i will!
JUNE: but not now.
JUNE: so, you know what i want to ask, but i will ask anyways!
JUNE: what do you want to do after it’s all over?
TEREZI:
TEREZI: 1’M NOT GO1NG TO S4Y 1T
JUNE: okay, but why not?
TEREZI:
JUNE: oh.
JUNE: you want to go looking for vriska again.
TEREZI:
TEREZI: Y34H
TEREZI: 1’M 4 FUCK1NG 1D1OT 4R3N’T 1
TEREZI: CH4S1NG 4FT3R 4 G1RL WHO’S PROB4BLY LONG D34D 4T TH1S PO1NT
JUNE: i don’t think you’re an idiot terezi.
JUNE: vriska is important to you! you’re chasing after her because you miss her and want her back!
JUNE: i don’t think you should go zipping around paradox space in nothing but a jetpack again.
JUNE: but fuck terezi, it’s not like i had anything better planned!
JUNE: up until roxy talked some sense into me, my plan was to zap us all into the ether! in comparison, searching for the girl who blinded you seems like a great plan!
TEREZI: H3H3
TEREZI: GU3SS YOU’R3 R1GHT JUN3
TEREZI: COMP4R3D TO YOU 1 4M PR3TTY FUCK1NG GR34T HUH
JUNE: i mean when you put it like that, no! you actually suck.
JUNE: but.
JUNE: i still don’t have much planned so.
JUNE: maybe i’ll join you!
TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4
TEREZI: GOOD ON3 JUN3
TEREZI: W41T YOU’R3 S3R1OUS
TEREZI: WHY?
JUNE: sigh.
JUNE: i dunno terezi!
JUNE: maybe i actually enjoy your company?
TEREZI: >:0
TEREZI: SH3 4DM1TS 1T!
JUNE: yes, terezi. it seems i’ve become inflicted by this terrible human disease we call “friendship!”
JUNE: and maybe i want to make sure you don’t go years without being near another person!
JUNE: like, i’ll need to talk to rose about what she plans to do, but after that.
JUNE: fuck it, we have a ship, why not use that to explore paradox space! the timeline at this point is so fucked up that i don’t even know if the place where vriska was exists anymore, but we can at least travel in relative comfort!
TEREZI: 1M DOWN W1TH 4 B1G SP4C3 H4T3-FR13ND RO4D TR1P
TEREZI: JUST B3 4W4R3 TH4T 1M 4BSOLUT3LY 1NSUFF3R4BLE
JUNE: oh i know! <3<
TEREZI: <3<
JUNE: alright, i’m gonna go talk to rose, and then i am going to go pass out for twelve hours.
TEREZI: 1T’S OK4Y JUN3 1 G3T 1T
TEREZI: NOW GO T4LK TO YOUR FLUSH3D CRUSH
JUNE: i
JUNE: but
JUNE: that is ABSOLUTELY NOT
TEREZI: WH4T3V3R
TEREZI: YOUR T33N S3LF’S FLUSH3D CRUSH 1F YOU W4NN4 B3 1N D3N1AL
TEREZI: 1 KNOOOOOW TH4T YOU W4NT 4 P1ECE OF TH4T SH1NY M3T4L 4SS >;]
JUNE: okay! i’m going, jerk!
JUNE: talk to you later.
TEREZI: T4LK TO YOU L4T3R N3RD

Finally, Rose. Orchestrator of the whole event, the one who’s practically been at your side this entire time. Your thoughts on her at the moment are pretty complicated for a number of reasons! Seeing your younger self’s obvious crush on her, one that actually seems to be mutual? Has made things... not so much awkward, you just didn’t talk about it. Rose usually just nods and makes note of any potential timeline changes, and you certainly aren’t going to bring it up. It’s been going on like that for the past few days, as you warped around to any big moments and notable changes in the timeline. And like... I mean of course you remember having a crush on Rose! It pretty much faded after she got together with Kanaya and told you she was a lesbian, for obvious reasons. But now... was she flirting you with the other day? You thought you had gotten past the useless lesbian stage, but apparently that only applied in hindsight! Whatever, this is totally irrelevant, you have to talk to Rose. You knock on the door and hear a tinny voice welcoming you in. She’s seated at her desk, her crystal ball sat in front of her, a massive log of handwritten notes unfolded beneath it.

ROSE: Ah, June. It’s good to see you.
JUNE: rose we literally spoke like an hour ago!
JUNE: but yes it’s good to see you too.
JUNE: shouldn’t you be resting?
ROSE: One of the few benefits of this body is that I don’t need to sleep.
JUNE: rose, i said rest, not sleep!
JUNE: it doesn’t matter if your body can take it, your mind needs to rest!
ROSE:
ROSE: Hm.
ROSE: You’re right. I’m sorry I just got so caught up in work...
ROSE: Usually Kanaya is around to help me sleep. Just my luck to be married to one of the only diurnal trolls in existence.
JUNE: oh. i’m sorry rose, i didn’t mean...
ROSE: Nonsense, June. You were perfectly within your rights as leader of this venture to tell me to get some rest. My performance is going to suffer if I don’t.
JUNE: ...rose, i was telling you because you are my friend and i care about you! not because i’m a leader!
ROSE: Spoken like a true leader, June. It’s good to have you back.
ROSE: I missed you after... well. After what happened.
JUNE: after i died? rose it’s just death.
ROSE: You’re a little too blasé about that for my tastes.
JUNE: and you aren’t?
ROSE: Fair point, Egbert.

She turns around in her chair, sitting causally as you take a seat on her bed, swinging your legs.

JUNE: so, what’s got you up so late? usually you’re only up this late when something’s on your mind.
ROSE: How did you know that?
JUNE: rose, you underestimate my powers of magical perception!
JUNE: ...and you being online on pesterchum at 4 AM was also when you updated your gaming blog when we were kids.
ROSE:
JUNE: i can notice things rose!
ROSE: I know. I think I’ve been underestimating you for far too long.
ROSE: I’ll make sure to not make that mistake again.
JUNE: well! i’m happy to hear it! it will make it harder to pull off my schemes, though!
ROSE: Oh? Please don’t tell me that you’ve actually been orchestrating some sort of hairbrained scheme to turn our universe into one suitable for an exact recreation of Con Air to happen?
JUNE: >:B
JUNE: you’ve discovered my plot! it was me all along!
JUNE: this is all a distraction so i can fly us all into the green sun, and, um, make a new Blue Sun!
JUNE: and me being blue means i get all the power from it!
ROSE: June, you are well aware that that’s not how the green sun works.
JUNE: are you sure? what do jade, lord english, and the first guardians have in common?
JUNE: that’s right: green!
ROSE:
ROSE: June you can’t possibly be serious.
JUNE: oh i’m entirely serious! what do you not get about—
JUNE: :0
JUNE: rose!
JUNE: you were planning on making the purple sun, aren’t you! this whole skepticism thing is a ruse!
ROSE:

Rose grins at you, and lets out the most bloodcurdling, deep laugh, raising her hands to the ceiling. Dark magic swirls around her, and you take a step back as she floats out of her chair towards you. She flicks her hand and slams the door shut, and for a moment, you begin to feel true fear. She summons the Quills of Echidna into her hands, and points one at your chin as you flatten against the wall. She leans close, hot metal breath against your face as she whispers into your ear:

ROSE: No, that would be fucking stupid.

You both take a moment to stare at each other, then you both burst into laughter, real and genuine, as you collapse to the floor, Rose doubled over and holding her torso. It takes nearly a minute for both of you to stop laughing, and she puts a hand on her shoulder.

ROSE: Oh god, thank you June. I haven’t laughed that hard in ages!
JUNE: it’s no problem! you can threaten me anytime you want!
ROSE: Well, that’s certainly a statement that’s open to a lot of interpretation. Are you sure you want to give me that much power?
JUNE:
JUNE: okay maybe ask first before you threaten me!
ROSE: I think that defeats the point, but if you insist!

You both prepare yourself for another terminal round of bedsitting. Why is it that you always sit on the bed for these heart-to-hearts? Is it because the intimacy of being let into someone’s sleeping quarters, an emblem of them truly letting their guard down, means something deeper? Is it a simple matter of closeness, of being able to reach out to someone, to make a connection physically and emotionally? Or was it because Jake’s company forgot to make chairs in most of the rooms?

Probably that one.

JUNE: so, enough with the distractions, what’s on your mind?
ROSE: Hm. I was hoping that falsely threatening to destroy you would take your mind off my real issues.
ROSE: But June. You know what’s coming next, right?
JUNE: oh. um. yeah.

You had thought about it, but you tended to push it to the back of your mind. The fact that, sooner or later, June would be arriving in a timeline to meet all her friends. Most of whom would be killed shortly after.

JUNE: i mean. yeah, but.
JUNE: what if that doesn’t happen this time?
ROSE:
JUNE: oh. you’ve been looking at the future with your crystal and it doesn’t look good.

She sighs in frustration, running her fingers across her head.

ROSE: That’s just the thing. The things that I have seen so far aren’t good, but there’s no way for me to know for certain!
ROSE: Your retcon ability is, frankly, something that often eludes my grasp. It’s not as all-encompassing as it could be, but it’s still nearly impossible to See past.
ROSE: It opens up too many possibilities, too many vectors for failure and success, spiralling off into infinite realities.
ROSE: Of course, it’s really just the one, but the sheer potential of being unbound by the Alpha timeline makes seeing a concrete future outside my grasp.
ROSE: But what I can see... well it looks familiar.
ROSE: By which I mean it’s a shitshow.
ROSE: But at the same time, I don’t know when, if it happens, the true catalyst for change will begin. We were hoping for something subtle, but who knows. Small changes can cause large effects, and from what we’ve seen, your changes have been far from small.
JUNE: i know! i was able to visit the dreambubbles to see you and kanaya, i actually dodged meenah’s trident for once!
JUNE: it’s like i’m more awake? if that makes sense.
ROSE:
ROSE: June, what was that you just said?
JUNE: that it’s like i’m more awake?
ROSE:
ROSE: June.
ROSE: Do you recall, during my mission to blow up the green sun, when it looked like I was talking to myself?
JUNE: oh yeah! you said you could hear yourself talking to the horrorterrors, right?
ROSE: Correct. But June, that never happened to me. That’s new, and what they said... well I’ve been reluctant to share it.
JUNE: what, why? i thought we were in this together!
ROSE: We are June. I’m sorry for keeping this from you, but I felt it could... compromise the mission. My own pride didn’t want to turn back the clock.
ROSE: They told me, in short, that they would ask for my service in return for the powers they granted me.
ROSE: But towards the end, they said this.
ROSE: “AWAKEN THE HEIR. READ THE UNREADABLE. AND WE WILL CALL UPON YOU WHEN YOU ARE NEEDED.”
JUNE:
JUNE: the heir... that’s me, i guess? what do the horrorterrors want with me?
ROSE: Hell if I know. They never really showed interest in anyone but myself. Welcome to the club, I suppose.
JUNE: the “has the interest of the outer gods” club? can i resign?
ROSE: Unfortunately, no. Dues are $500 a month, payable directly to me.
JUNE: well shoot, i think terezi has my wallet, can i pay you back later?
ROSE: Yes, but there’s a late fee of one unborn child per day that the dues aren’t paid.
JUNE: that’s a lot of kids rose! i’ve only had one batch of eight, i don’t know how many i can make!
ROSE: Ah yes, and one of those babies is you. And the other is me, which makes it much more complicated.
ROSE: Alright, you win June, you can resign.
JUNE: haha, yes!
ROSE: Unfortunately, that doesn’t resolve our current question. Namely, what is the horrorterror’s play here?
ROSE: I haven’t heard anything about them since they all died from the black hole. Besides the occasional nightmare.
JUNE: i dunno rose! i wish i could help here. are there any ancient tomes you could consult?
ROSE: Hm. Not a bad idea, I have several indecipherable tomes in my sylladex that I could get started on. Thank you.
JUNE: oh wow! i mean i was making a joke!
ROSE: I don’t joke around when it comes to ancient tomes. I’ll get studying on them right away.
JUNE: perfect! that’s—
JUNE: hey wait! no, you won’t get started right away, you are going to get some rest!
ROSE: Hm. You are getting a lot more perceptive. Alright, I’ll continue in the morning.

You nod, your eyelids drooping. You give her a half-smile.

JUNE: thanks rose. i think i’m gonna try and get some sleep.
ROSE: Of course. Goodnight June.
JUNE: night rose!

You start to walk to the door, and place your hand on the handle.

ROSE: June...
JUNE: yeah?
ROSE: ...Never mind.

You turn to face her. She’s tapping a pen against her desk, expression looking... annoyed or apprehensive, her face isn’t always the most expressive.

JUNE: oh no, what is it rose? leader’s orders, you have to tell me.
ROSE: It was a stupid thing to ask.
JUNE: rose i’ve heard plenty of stupid things, mostly from me, please, ask away!
ROSE:
ROSE: Alright. It’s just... I’ve had a hard time resting lately. Usually, Kanaya and I talk for a good while before we sleep. And... well I think I have a hard time sleeping alone. Force of habit.
JUNE: um, well, i’m not sure i’d be a great conversationalist!
JUNE: and, um, that bed looks pretty small.
ROSE: Comfort isn’t a concern for me at the moment, I’m more than happy to take the chair.
ROSE: And you’re selling yourself short again. I find you to be an admirable conversation partner.
ROSE: If it helps, think of it more as you keeping me to my promise to actually rest. I might get too antsy otherwise, and find myself penning another strategic screed.
JUNE: i mean... okay! if you’re fine with it.

You go and sit back down on the bed, kicking off your shoes and lying down. It smells... like metal, she’s a robot. Still, it is a little awkward as you turn to face her. She has one arm over the side of her chair, the other hand spinning her pen between dexterous fingers.

JUNE: so, i meant to ask you. what do you want to do when all this is over?
ROSE: What do you mean? When this is all over, we won’t exist anymore. Just stardust, to become one with the Ultimate versions of ourselves. Another chapter in the sordid story of our lives.

You suck a breath in through your teeth.

JUNE: yeah, rose. i was sort of talking with roxy.
JUNE: and i don’t think at the end of us i’m going to just. zap us out of existence.
ROSE:
ROSE: Okay.
ROSE: June, I’m aware that the concept is scary. But trust me, there’s nothing wrong with being a part of something larger. We are vessels, meant to carry other versions of ourselves to the optimal timeline.
ROSE: What would we even do after the game? I’m not sure I want to be an extraneous Rose just puttering about, making things awkward for prime Rose.
JUNE: god, you sound just like i did.
ROSE: What?
JUNE: rose, you do know that this is suicide right?
ROSE: Please, June, I hardly think our mission is that risky. I think it has a decent chance of being successful, all things considered.
JUNE: not the mission rose! i’m talking about the whole blinking-out-of-existence thing! that’s suicide!
ROSE: I mean, if you want to be technical, then I suppose.
ROSE: June, I don’t want to be condescending, but you haven’t had to deal with... leaving yourself behind, in some ways. I’ve had to grapple with the memories of my dead alt-selves for years.
ROSE: I still remember my time in Davesprite’s... DS’s? My sprite sibling’s timeline. It was miserable, just knowing that I was doomed while the rest of you got to go on. Everything went dark after DS left.
ROSE: And then there’s Jasprose. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be an irrelevant version of yourself, always knowing that you’re the universe’s second-favorite, and it’s not an experience I wish to repeat!
JUNE: rose, what are you talking about? sure, i never saw the memories in the same way that you did, but there’s the me from ds’s timeline, not to mention me from the retcon timeline!
JUNE: one version of me got obliterated by lord english, and i don’t even know if the other me exists!
JUNE: two different people had to be sacrificed to get me where i am, or maybe they didn’t! but if i had my choice, i would rather hang around with a couple of different junes than have the other ones be dead!
ROSE: Well good for you June! Feel free to live out your days as an awkward hanger-on to the timeline! As for the rest me, I’m going to be useful and make sure that only the Rose that matters is the only Rose there is!

She stands up, her chair clattering to the floor. She glares at you, her red eyes giving off a sharp glow. You are at a complete loss for words. What the hell are you supposed to say to that? There’s only so much that platitudes and comfort can do in the face of someone so hell-bent on ending their existence.

JUNE: rose, i...
JUNE:
JUNE: i don’t... think i could stop you if i wanted to. but i won’t erase you.
JUNE: the alpha is gone, rose. and i don’t know if any of us matter more than the others.
JUNE: we have a choice we can make after this.
JUNE: to end, or continue. and i can’t make that choice for you, and i’m not going to...
JUNE: fuck.
JUNE: fuck this actually, rose, you are my friend and i don’t want to lose you!
JUNE: i lost everyone else important to me! you, roxy, jake, terezi, you are all the friends i have left in the universe!
JUNE: on one of the worst days of my life, my dad died. i thought you died too. on another one, you did die, and only roxy stayed alive. and on another one, i saw it all happen again.
JUNE: i don’t need to tell you this, you were there. i lost a sister, you lost your brother. i lost a mom, you lost a dad. so many people are gone.
JUNE: you lost people too rose. but...
JUNE: rose, the universe is a big place. we still have most of their bodies, we could...
ROSE: Don’t.
ROSE: Don’t give me hope.
ROSE: Almost every one of them was revived by Jane at some point. I don’t even know if life powers would work.
JUNE: rose, there are like at least six different ways to come back to life! you’ve been through at least two!
ROSE: I’m not sure revival would even be possible at this point! We retconned our timeline entirely, their souls could be long gone.
JUNE: look i am not going to claim to be an expert in ectophysics, but i know that ghosts can survive retcon, that’s how that other vriska was still around!
JUNE: rose, there are ways we can bring them back, we have a spaceship and the multiverse is huge! why are you being so stubborn about this!
ROSE: BECAUSE I DESERVE IT!

She slams a fist into the wall, cratering the steel with a crunching noise.

ROSE: Because of all these things that I’m saying to you now!
ROSE: Of course I know that Jasprose wasn’t truly extraneous! That was just what I told myself so that I could sleep at night! So that I could delude myself that I hadn’t stolen the lives of two other girls so that I could live!
ROSE: And what did I do with that life? After not even a decade, I wasted it in service of some foolish act of perpetuation, and now my wife is gone and I’m here, another sacrifice to the eternal bed of roses that is me, another branch to be pruned, another splinter to be pulled out!
ROSE: I was JUST LIKE DIRK! I wanted to live forever through the deeds I did, I wanted my legacy to be never ending so I wouldn’t simply waste away until I was a flailing outer god, so I would be a person, a monument until the end of time!
ROSE: But I was an idiot! Nothing can escape entropy! And that, June, is why I’m embracing it! The careless universe is punishing me for daring to live, so I will accept my fate and DIE with some fucking GRACE!!!

She grips the table so hard the corner snaps off, metal fingers crunching through cheap imitation-wood. Her chassis is shaking, and the heaving in her shoulders starts to slow down, as she looks at you. You’ve just been sitting there, on the edge of the bed, still as you can be. She looks like she’s on the edge, emotionally. You can’t tell if she’s going to punch you, storm out, or start crying. She shakes her head and folds her arms behind her back.

ROSE: I’m sorry June. That was an unfortunate outburst, it won’t happen again. I shouldn’t have directed my anger at you.
JUNE:
JUNE: what the fuck? rose that is absolutely not the thing you should be taking away from this!
JUNE: i’m fine with the yelling! what i’m not okay with is you acting like you deserve to die because you were kind of shitty one time!
JUNE: i’ve been shitty loads of times! everyone on this ship has been shitty! terezi killed me once, and i still get along with her more or less!
JUNE: rose, being put in a situation with an alternate version of yourself that keeps stating your deepest secrets would be uncomfortable for anyone! i think we all could have treated jasprose a bit better, but you thinking something doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person for thinking it!
JUNE: but even so, jasprose is living proof that there doesn’t just have to be one! paradox space isn’t nice to duplicates, but guess what? we’re more than paradox space now! once we reach the end of the game, which, all things going to plan, will happen pretty soon, there’ll be no big angry denizen or fish lady to thin out the herd!
JUNE: we can live, rose. and if our younger selves have an objection to us being there, then we just tell them that they wouldn’t be here without us!
ROSE: The old guilting parent trick? That’s a dirty tactic.
JUNE: just as a last resort!
JUNE: hell, depending on what we all want to do, we might barely even have to interact with our other selves! rox and jake are planning on moving to a cave as far away from civilization as possible, and terezi, and maybe me, are just planning to go out into space to look for vriska!
JUNE: you can join us, or you can stay on earth c, there’s literally infinite things we can do!
JUNE: please, rose. don’t give up hope now.
JUNE: because i am going to keep trying to give it to you until you take it so you better act fast or you’re gonna be buried under it!
ROSE: I thought Jake was the Hope player.
JUNE: well, jake is my biological dad, and i’m an heir, so i can do hope stuff too! probably.
ROSE: Yes. Once again, your grasp over the mechanics of the Sburban Classpects astounds me.
ROSE: Maybe you can inform me on the actual class power of a Mage.
JUNE: simple, they do spells!
JUNE: but seriously, rose. i want you to think about it. just a little bit, on something you’d like to do once the game is over.
JUNE: it doesn’t even have to be big picture!
JUNE: like, yeah i might go off with terezi. but first...
JUNE: well, dying like i did, after wasting away in my room for so long, it just made me really want to try a bunch of stuff i never got to try!
JUNE: when i get to earth c, i’m gonna fly up to the tallest mountain on the planet, and i’m just going to scream as loud as i can!
JUNE: and no matter how bleak things get, i just look forward to that one moment.
JUNE: it’s kinda silly, i admit it! but i think that helps. like, it doesn’t have to be the most important thing in the world, because important stuff doesn’t happen every day.
JUNE: i want to sit on my couch and watch dumb movies. i want to drink too much soda and regret it, and have that be the biggest problem i have to deal with that day!
JUNE: i want to get mad at things for stupid, petty little reasons again! i’m tired of being mad at big universe-ending crises!
JUNE: so when i do want to go do something important, i’m not exhausted, and it feels like it actually matters.

Rose’s shoulders have stopped shaking in fury. She sighs and goes to tuck a bit of stray hair behind her ear: force of habit.

ROSE:
ROSE: I’d like to try growing roses again.
ROSE: I didn’t want to grow them initially, it seemed a bit too on the nose, and mildly narcissistic.
ROSE: But Kanaya loved them. She was always tending to them, plucking one and putting it in my hair. “Rose On A Rose.” Then she would laugh, and I would too, and I would keep it in a glass of water until it wilted.
ROSE: If... I’m still not sure if revival is possible. But if it is. I’d like to be able to give her a rose again.
JUNE: that’s wonderful, rose. just think of how happy she’ll be!
JUNE: she’s lucky to have you! and yes, that’s present tense, because she is still out there, and we are going to get her back!

Rose sits back down in her chair, nodding.

ROSE: Okay. I’ll... try.

You sigh out deeply and feel relief wash over you. You know this isn’t completely over. Rose has a lot of issues that she has to deal with. But she’s here, in what seems like relatively stable condition, and luckily, you have an excuse to be in her room, so you can keep an eye on her.

JUNE: thank you, rose.
ROSE: Thank yourself, June. I... I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I’ll do past the end of this plan.
ROSE: But I promise that I will at least see it through past the end. I’ll give it some thought.
JUNE: that’s all i’m asking rose.
JUNE: now... i think... i am going to pass out now...
JUNE: gnite rose.
ROSE: Goodnight June.
ROSE: Sweet dreams.

You wake up the next morning in Rose’s bed. You mumble and turn onto your side, looking over to the other side of the room. She’s slumped over her desk, apparently in some robot approximation of sleep. Seems she was lying about that. You stretch, and a blanket you don’t remember getting under falls off. You quietly, with a slight smile, slide it off you, and drape it over Rose. This is what you’ve done for each other, time after time. A gift for a gift, a service for a service, since you were kids. You look at her softly for a minute, before realizing it’s probably creepy to be watching her while she sleeps, and you slip out of the room.

You go through your morning routine as usual. Brush your teeth, pop a spare estradiol and spironolactone that Rose has no more need for, shower, shave, and dry. It feels less like a slog this morning, and you get a fuzzy feeling in your chest. Tension, but a good kind, like the night before Christmas, or the first hint of a fall breeze on the air. You feel energized, and get dressed, choosing something simple and cute. Straight jeans, tank top. You wrap your longish hair in a ponytail, and head to the kitchen. It’s, at the moment, a bit of a mess, rarely a place to linger, more of a place to snag an energy bar or to brew up some bitter coffee to slap yourself awake. You breathe in. You breathe out. And you do the dishes.

You scrub leftover junk and crusted-on ketchup, working your arms hard against a particularly stubborn pan where Terezi tried to make a chocolate-cheese-broccoli-tomato-fish casserole one night, sponging out the dark rings from Rose and Roxy’s teacups, and clearing off some crusted-on roast pumpkin from Jake’s baking sheet. You work, the energy in your chest pushing you forward until every dish is out of the sink, every counter is clean, and your mind is clear.

And then you wash your hands, swing on one of Jane’s branded “Kiss the Crock” Aprons, and start to cook. The fridge is shockingly well-stocked, and you remove butter, fresh sausage, cheese and eggs, covering the counter in a spread of ingredients. You stir pancakes that Jane taught you how to perfect, a dash of blueberries in each one. You scramble the eggs the way your dad used to, big curds piled in the pan, sprinkled with cheese. You clean out the frankly disgusting coffeemaker, and now you’re brewing a fresh pot, trying to recall everyone’s preferences. Terezi, black with 5 spoons of sugar and a dash of hot sauce, Roxy’s cappuccino, Jake’s with a little cinnamon, and Rose, who you heard from Kanaya likes a little bit of whipped cream on hers. By the end, it’s been a little over an hour, and you’re almost done, when Roxy walks in, yawning, his hair in a bit of a mess.

ROXY: hm holy shit that smells like
ROXY: woah
ROXY: june u made pancakes?
JUNE: yep! and some other stuff, breakfast will be ready in a bit!
ROXY: dam june whos birthday is it
JUNE: well, technically mine, since we’re gonna be arriving in the new session soon!
ROXY: aahhhh rite
ROXY: girl u have the most gdam busiest birthdays
JUNE: i mean, the last few haven’t been too eventful! it’s really just the two!
ROXY: yeah but thats enough birthday for a lifetime
ROXY: :0
ROXY: june
ROXY: juuuuuuuune
ROXY: is that my coffee in the kitty mug rite there?
ROXY: where the hell did u find that
JUNE: it was just at the bottom of the sink! and yes, that one’s yours!
ROXY: ah thatd do it
ROXY: drop it in the sink it disappears forever
ROXY: im the fuckin void incarnate n even i dont wanna go in there
ROXY: i think theres probably a cthulu or a bigfoot hidin out in there
ROXY: wait juney how tf did u make a cappuccino we dont have the shit 4 that

You grin, and little twirl of wind spins over your finger, steaming slightly.

ROXY: june
ROXY: ur a fuckin portable cappuccino machine?
ROXY: alright im gonna need u to do that every mornin for the rest of time
ROXY: papa needs his cappuccino
ROXY: jk ofc
ROXY: wait i could just voidy a steamer outta nowhere
ROXY: nvm june youre obsolete
ROXY: its been a good run for june “human cappuccino maker” egbert
ROXY: srsly tho, ty
JUNE: haha, it’s no problem roxy!

He gives you a side-hug and goes to sit down at the table. Terezi and Jake follow in soon after.

JAKE: Well if that doesnt wake a pal up in the morning! June are you making breakfast?
JUNE: yep! go ahead and have a seat, your coffee is in the mustache mug!
TEREZI: OOH COFF33!

You put hers in the most garish, ugly mug possible, warped into a shape that could generously be described as “possible” and covered in amateurish paint swabs. She picks it up and downs it in one gulp.

TEREZI: MMM, PR3TTY GOOD, BUT YOU W3NT 4 L1TTL3 L1GHT ON TH3 HOT S4UC3
TEREZI: H3R3, YOU GOTT4 4DD 4T L34ST H4LF TH3 BOTTL3
JUNE: hey, that’s my coffee!
TEREZI: OOH, SO SORRY, H3R3
JUNE: well i don’t want if after you’ve licked it and dumped hot sauce in it!
TEREZI: MOR3 FOR M3 TH3N!

You sigh and make yourself another cup, then start serving out plates, as Rose walks in on the nearly-full breakfast table. She gives you a slight smile, and you return it.

ROSE: Well, June. You’ve been a woman for less than a week, and you’re already fulfilling the housewife stereotype.
JUNE: rose, i think i’d have to be married to be a housewife! you’re the only one of us that was married!
ROSE: Ah, but see, I have an excuse for why I’m not. I’m a horrible cook and I’m terrible at cleaning. Honestly, I don’t know how my wife and I would have survived without magic.
JUNE: what? there’s cleaning magic? i just did all the dishes by hand!
ROSE: June, wizards often occupy tall towers full of bookshelves, knickknacks, and incredibly destructive experiments.
ROSE: You learn cleaning magic before you learn basic prestidigitation.
JUNE: well now you’re going to actually need to teach me to do magic!
ROSE: Really? After you snubbed so many of my previous offers?
JUNE: well i thought that it was all summoning dark gods and blasting people with lasers! and i think we’re all pretty powerful people, so i thought i didn’t need it!
JUNE: but why are you so terrible at cleaning up? didn’t you have to do chores as a kid?
TEREZI: ROS3 W4S 4 R1CH B1TCH WHO N3V3R H4D TO DO 4NY CL34N1NG 1N H3R L1FE
ROSE: That is absolutely not fair!
ROXY: rose i squatted in ur house for like my entire adolescence
ROXY: that was a rich bitch house
ROXY: u had a fuckin observatory come on
JUNE: oh! so the bronze vacuum cleaner wasn’t a monument to the lalonde family legacy of housecleaning?
ROSE: Well, no, it was part of a complicated game of one-upmanship with my mother.
TEREZI: MY PO1NT EX4CTLY
TEREZI: YOU H4D 3NOUGH MON3Y 4ND FR33 T1M3 TO FR1VOLOUSLY BRONZ3 SUCT1ON CL34N3RS 4ND D1SPL4Y TH3M PUBL1CALLY
TEREZI: F4CE 1T L4LOND3, YOU’R3 R1CH
ROSE: Well, technically, so were we all. But point taken, I concede the gambit.

She sits down at the table, and you hand her her coffee. She takes a sip, starting a bit, before her shoulders relax, and she takes a deep sigh.

ROSE: Thank god these robot bodies are capable of ingestion. Did Kanaya tell you?
JUNE: haha, yep! she thought it was really cute that you acted all tough but had whipped cream with your coffee!
ROSE: Drinking black is for masochists and snobs. And while I may be prone to snobbery, I know myself well enough to know that I like it sweet.
JUNE: well, it fits!
ROSE: June, I don’t think a single person in the universe could describe me as sweet.
JUNE: well, i’m doing it now! you’re a very sweet person rose!
ROXY: yeah rosey ur a total softie we know it
ROSE: Well, I’ll take your word for it.

You finish serving breakfast, but before anyone digs in, you ding your spoon against your coffee cup.

JUNE: um, before you eat! i have a few things to say!
ROXY: juney ur killin me
ROXY: u put this delicious grub in front of us n then snatch it away
ROXY: so cruel
TEREZI: W41T YOU GOT GRUBS
TEREZI: 1 D1DN’T G3T 4 S1NGLE ON3! >:[
JAKE: Terezi its an expression that one could use to describe any victuals! Particularly when youre feeling sort of folksy!
TEREZI: TH4T’S DUMB, GRUB SHOULD B3 GRUBS
ROXY: i mean maybe they r somewhere but not on this ship
ROXY: wait is this a sayin grace thing
ROXY: please dont tell me ur christian now my poor lil heart cant take it
JUNE: no! why would i... not the point!
JUNE: i’ll keep it quick!
JUNE: today, team, might be our final day on this mission! the younger players are going to arrive in the session, and all hell is probably going to break loose!
JUNE: assuming we did everything right, by the end of the day, we’ll all be in the new earth-c, and we can begin a new chapter of our lives!
JUNE: we still need to be on our guard though! we messed with the timeline as little as possible, but there could still be consequences we haven’t seen yet! our seers have had a hard time seeing past the retcons, and we’ve already seen unexpected changes!
JUNE: we have a few preparations to set up! roxy, rose, i’ll need you to help me set up a system to automatically follow young june through her retcons! it felt pretty random the first time, and we don’t wanna be erased from existence because we weren’t quick enough on the draw!
JUNE: we’re almost done, gang. and when we’re done, we have the rest of our lives to look forward to!
JUNE: whether that’s in a cave, or in the stars, or by a bed of roses, we’re gonna be okay.
JUNE: so, good luck team! now, let’s eat!

You sit down. Before you even finished, Roxy and Terezi started shoving food in their mouths. Rose is smiling in approval, and Jake starts clapping.

JAKE: June that may have been the most rousing speech i have ever heard! I feel like i could really russle some charlies after that!
JUNE: well, hopefully you will not have to do any of whatever that is! but thank you jake!
JUNE: hehe, i’ve always wanted to do a big inspiring speech! just like independence day, except i’m not the president!
ROSE: It was an excellent speech June. Suitably inspiring. Also, the food doesn’t hurt. I might have to ask you to come over and cook for us when this is all over.
JUNE: :B i’d be happy to rose! it’s nothing special.
ROSE: June, even though I don’t strictly need to eat, I haven’t eaten this well in weeks. Trust me, this is amazing.
JUNE: okay, i’ll trust you! have as much as you want, there’s plenty to go around!

That morning, you eat well. Everyone is in high spirits, and for the first time in a while, you remember what you love about all of them, why you’re doing all of this. These are the people you care about most in the world, and today, if all goes well, you’ll make it through. You’ll find a way to bring back those that are gone, you’ll go searching for the one who was lost, and you’ll protect those who are still here. You smile and dig in.

It tastes fucking good.

This feels fucking weird.

Your entire body feels... fuzzy, intangible? Sorry, my body? Why am I talking in the second-person? That feels weirdly impersonal.

Guess I shouldn’t mess with consistency. Or should I say, YOU guess you shouldn’t mess with it. See, now you’re getting the hang of it! Now, enough metanarrative structural perspective lollygagging, where were you? Oh right, nowhere!

After you stuck your hand right into the treasure that Vriska had dumped onto the ground, you just started zapping around, like at random? You’ve seen a lot of things, you saw someone who looked like Kanaya grown up, but she hissed at you, multiple versions of yourself, some things you DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT, and you think you were in Con Air for a second? You know, you’ve really turned back around on that movie, it’s cheesy but it’s just so fun!

Then, let’s see. You saw a weird skull-faced guy, got punched so hard that you felt time shatter around you, and then... no wait that was it. You are currently hurtling through empty space, a void of blank white, and if you’re being honest, you’re feeling a little pissed! You have no idea what’s going on!

Oh, you feel it happening again. Whee, another trip to zappytown, population who-the-fuck-knows!
And you arrive...

Great. The middle of bumfuck nowhere. It’s green, you guess, but you don’t see much of anything. Wait, there’s the ship! And the fenestrated plane. You actually did it! You made it!

So where is everybody?

You wander the surface of this weird planet, calling out the names of your friends! For a moment, you see someone, it looks like a sprite! But they flip you off and fly away as you try to get close.
All options exhausted, you go down to lie on the SLAB OF THE JADED FOOL’S ENNUI and wait for something to happen.

Uggghh, what the fuck? You spent like three whole years waiting on that ship, and now everyone is just missing! You can’t even find Jade or DS, how could they let you oversleep like that? You bet you’re missing the big group meetup! Are they having fun without you? Sure, you’ve managed to have a few more dreambubble meetups with them, but mostly still with Rose and Kanaya. Not that you’re complaining! But you’d like to be able to see them for real in-person! And Dave, and Karkat, and maybe even Terezi! But nope! Here you are, stuck on a dumb rock! You briefly consider looking around, but then remember a piece of fatherly advice your father had given you years ago: when you’re lost in the woods, stay where you are, because it will be easier to find you!

You have no idea why he said that; you have the outdoor skills of a drunk toddler and were out in the wilderness about as often as you didn’t wear cargo shorts. Jade taught you a few things about camping and safety during the trip, but you still can barely put up a tent without it collapsing into a miserable pile.

Nevertheless, in remembrance of him, you decide to wait.

Okay fuck it this sucks you have to do something! You’re going to be meeting your friends for the first time in three years and you haven’t even cleaned up! What would your father say? You air-dry your god-tier robes, now with a cute new WINDLASS’S PLEATED SKIRT, to get rid of any neon-pink Jasper hair, you do your eyeliner just like Rose taught you to, though you forsake the undereye for today, put on some light lip gloss, Roll Your Lips Together Thats Right, and you style your hair to look like less of a windswept mess! It falls back nearly immediately but you tried! You are looking cute as fuck and ready to go!

Unfortunately, you being perfectly ready for them somehow doesn’t immediately spawn them into existence. So you start to fuck around some more! Your little extradimensional trip has you feeling nostalgic, so you watch Con Air! You fuck around and dilly-dally and lollygag until you’re just about ready to scream, and then all of your friends fall out of the air.

Rose, Kanaya, Dave, Karkat, and Terezi are all sitting on their asses, looking dazed as fuck. You stare at them for a second, before letting out an honest to god squeal and jumping down to meet them.

JUNE: oh wow! hi everyone! oh my god it has been such a long time!

None of them respond, but you walk over to Dave, smiling.

JUNE: hey dave! wow it really has been so long since i’ve seen you!
JUNE: hehe, actually, unless you count ds, we’ve never actually met in person!
JUNE: oh shoot, you probably don’t know who that is, do you?
DAVE: nah its cool im totally aware of my nonbinary bird self
DAVE: super fuckin aware
DAVE: honestly sometimes too aware like im staring at the fridge and all there is is fucking swords
DAVE: and sometimes all a man wants is some fucking pizza rolls but nope we got swords instead
DAVE: pouring them all out into my breakfast cereal and chomping down with bloody teeth
JUNE: hehe, some sord flakes?
DAVE: YES exactly june you get me
DAVE: fuck i missed you not to seem too gay or anything
DAVE: ugh i dont even know why i said that for like any number of reasons
DAVE: like objectively one of the stupidest things ive ever said
DAVE: anyways june you look h
DAVE: FUCK okay not gonna say that nice one caught it in the bag more metaphors
JUNE: dave, were you going to say i was hot?
DAVE: how the fuck did you know that
DAVE: i thought mindy stuff was rezis schtick what did you fuckin hear it on a breeze
JUNE: nope! you just told me :B
DAVE: ohhhhhh god dammit i cant believe this shit
DAVE: i fuckin fell for the most classic egbert trick in the book
DAVE: the one that fuckin obliterated your grandma and is filled with an unfortunate number of slurs
JUNE: oh, i also knew it because ds did the exact same thing a little bit after i came out.
DAVE: oh my fuckin god of course it was them im gonna kill them
DAVE: like look ive renounced my ways now june
DAVE: im a pacifist havent touched a sword in years
DAVE: fuckin sword celibate over here not gonna grasp onto any shapely handles no maam
DAVE: god rose is gonna have a field day with this when she stops being drunk off her ass
DAVE: anyways thats all to say that when i see that bird im gonna fuckin strangle them
DAVE: like ive come to peace and fully accept that theyre like a different person quantum physics paradox timelines lived experience yadda yadda but if i see their feathery orange ass im gonna makin some gen-u-ine texas fried chicken
JUNE: i dunno dave, they have been training pretty hard! i’m not sure you can beat them!
DAVE: wait shit you guys have been training
JUNE: yeah? we are going to have to maybe fight some pretty evil jerks, why wouldn’t we be training?
DAVE: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
DAVE: good fuckin question ill get back to you on that
JUNE: and did you say that rose is drunk?
DAVE: fuck right yeah she is
JUNE: i... didn’t know that she drank? i guess she was acting kind of weird that last time i saw her.
DAVE: yeah roses been off the shits for a little while now
DAVE: ive tried to get her to stop but sis is as fuckin stubborn as they come
DAVE: terezi is too i think but shes drunk off weird clown hatemakeouts and nasty soda so it might be a bit different
JUNE: um. i gotta say dave this is all pretty weird! why were you all not prepared?
KANAYA: That Is Exactly What I Was Saying

Kanaya walks over, one arm under Rose’s arms. Rose is looking unlike you have ever seen her before, which is to say, fucking plastered. She’s giggling a little and burying her face into Kanaya’s side. Kanaya, for her part, is clearly trying to keep a straight face through an absolute torrent of conflicted emotions.

JUNE: oh, hi kanaya! sorry i didn’t say hi before, i have not seen dave in a long time and he distracted me!
KANAYA: It Is Quite Alright
KANAYA: You And I Are Fortunate Enough To Have Spent Quite A Lot Of Time Together So I Do Not Mind You Taking Some Time To Catch Up With Dave
KANAYA: That Is Not To Say That I Would Not Like To Spend More Time With You
JUNE: oh i know kanaya! it is really nice to see you!
DAVE: look kanaya its pretty simple
DAVE: june cant resist that classic strider charm so shes gotta get her fill before someone else takes over
JUNE: dave, i am a homosexual.
DAVE: i mean shit charm can be platonic
DAVE: back me up here karkat platonic charm can totally be a thing right
KARKAT: DAVE HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN FUCKING LISTENING TO MY LECTURES ON PALECRUSHES? YES, PLATONIC CHARM IS ABSOLUTELY A REAL THING, IT IS THE BASIS FOR AN ENTIRE SET OF COMPLEX INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS, AND IT’S ALSO A THING YOU LACK IN EVERY CONCIEVABLE WAY.
KARKAT: IT’S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO FATHOM HOW MUCH OF AN AWKWARD CLUSTERFUCK YOU MAKE LITERALLY EVERY CONVERSATION WITH YOU. YOU ARE THE CONVERSATIONAL EQUIVALENT OF A THOUSAND LAWNFORKS HITTING ME IN THE FACE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
DAVE: so what youre saying is that i have some kind of kismetic charm that makes everyone want to kick my ass
KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL NO, SECOND OF ALL FUCK YOU, AND THIRD OF ALL I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T LISTEN TO ANY OF MY QUADRANT LECTURES.
DAVE: nah i do i just pretend not to because its funny
KARKAT: OH FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU!!! I SPEND HOURS OF MY LIFE RESEARCHING QUADRANT DYNAMICS JUST FOR SOME BULGESUCKING FESTERPOOL TO COME HERE AND INTENTIONALLY FORGET EVERYTHING FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES!!
DAVE: i mean whatever everyone knows the quadrant system is a load anyways
KARKAT: I AM GOING TO COMPLETELY IGNORE THAT ASININE STATEMENT AND TURN TO THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHO I HAVEN’T SPENT THE LAST THREE YEARS GETTING DRIVEN INSANE BY.
KARKAT: SPEAKING OF, HI JUNE! PLEASE FUCKING HELP ME I AM SO SICK OF ALL THESE NOOKSNIFFERS.
JUNE: hi karkat! it is really good to see you! especially since the only time i have ever seen your face is when i threw that bucket with the message in it through the portal.
KARKAT: OH DON’T THINK I FORGOT THE DAY YOU FUCKING HUMILIATED ME WITH A PAIL TO THE FACE! YOUR SHEER FUCKING IGNORANCE OF ALTERNIAN SOCIAL TABOOS IS FUCKING ASTOUNDING!
JUNE: oh i know what the bucket is for now! kanaya explained it to me! she did leave out a lot of details though!
KANAYA: For Reasons That Should Be Very Clear
JUNE: so, sorry about that!
KARKAT: OKAY WELL. I GUESS I CAN’T FAULT YOU FOR YOUR TOTAL IGNORANCE. AS LONG AS YOU DON’T FUCKING THROW LEWD OBJECTS AT ME AGAIN I GUESS WE CAN BE SQUARE.
JUNE: sounds good to me! although, karkat, i do have to say, i was lying to you before!
JUNE: i am a homosexual!
KARKAT: WOW JUNE. WAY TO BRING UP OUR PAST PRIVATE CONVERSATION IN A WAY THAT MEANS RELATIVELY LITTLE TO ME.
KARKAT: LIKE I DO NOW UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE ONLY ATTRACTED TO ONE GENDER AND I AM COOL WITH THAT.
KANAYA: Thank You Karkat
KARKAT: NO PROBLEM KANAYA. BUT JUNE WHAT POSSIBLE RELEVANCE DOES THAT HAVE TO ME? LIKE IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME WHETHER YOU ARE HOMOSEXUAL OR WHATEVER THE OTHER ONE IS CALLED. I’M HAPPY FOR YOU.
KARKAT: OKAY THAT JUST SOUNDED A LOT LIKE I WAS CENTERING YOUR SEXUALITY AROUND ME. SORRY ABOUT THAT. IT’S NOT LIKE I EVEN HAVE ANY PITCH FEELINGS FOR YOU ANYMORE, DON’T WORRY! THAT SHIP HAS SAILED INTO THE NIGHT AND SUNK STRAIGHT TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN BY A HORDE OF SQUAWKING GAMBLIGNANTS.
JUNE: haha, karkat, it sounds like you’re protesting a bit too much!
KARKAT: I AM NOT PROTESTING TOO MUCH! I AM PROTESTING AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL AMOUNT OF PROTESTATION TO TRY AND ELIMINATE ANY IMPLICATION THAT I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU.
JUNE: hey karkat!
JUNE: <;3<
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT. I’VE DECIDED. FUCK THIS PLANET, AND FUCK ALL OF YOU! I HAVE SPENT ONLY ABOUT ONE MINUTE IN YOUR COMPANY AND ALREADY I WANT TO HURL MYSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE HERE INTO THE GREEN SUN!

Karkat storms off, and you giggle a bit. He seems to have leveled out somewhat, but he’s still really easy to put off balance! You feel a touch on your shoulder, and look to see Rose, still being supported by Kanaya, papping you. She has a sleepy grin on her face.

ROSE: Juen.
ROSE: Juuuuuuuuune.
ROSE: Look kanaya ish June :).
KANAYA: I Am Aware Rose
KANAYA: She Has Been Around For A Good Few Minutes Now
KANAYA: You Have Not Noticed
ROSE: Well fo corshe I dint notic, she didn’t shays hi.
ROSE: Hi June. :)
JUNE: um, hi rose! are you... okay?
ROSE: Jnune I’m fiiiiiiiifn.
ROSE: Hey.
JUNE: yeah rose?
ROSE: Hyey June.
JUNE: yeah?
ROSE: Juuuuuuunnne.
ROSE: Yore like.
ROSE: Rally predty ;).
KANAYA: Rose!
ROSE: Whaat? Cann I knot congregationalet my frend on bolssoming into a beuatyfill...
ROSE: Bueiyaotiv...
ROSE: Prebty grill?
ROSE: Das knida... hhomophopho of you.
KANAYA: Rose We Are Literally Gay Dating My Issue Is Not With Your Compliments
KANAYA: I Just
KANAYA: You Are Usually More In Control Of Yourself Than This And I Feel Like You Would Be Upset At Your Impropriety
ROSE: Mmmm, I fel fine abwowt my imp propertea.
JUNE: uh, rose? should i get you anything? what do people use to make people not drunk?
DAVE: coffee usually if you got any of that shit
JUNE: um, i can check! but jade and i usually don’t drink coffee on the ship, so i don’t know!
DAVE: what the fuck how are you so goddamn chipper all the time
DAVE: did colonel sassacre make some kind of weird deal with the racism devil to make all the harleyberts immune to early-morning ennui
ROSE: On wee?
ROSE: Ohhhhhh ennui!
ROSE: Oh god the ennui.
ROSE: It’s stetning in.
ROSE: D:
JUNE: um, i might go look for some coffee! i wonder where jade is by the way, i have not seen her since she woke up!
DAVE:
ROSE:
KANAYA:
KARKAT:
DAVE: we forgot to tell—
TEREZI: TH3Y 4LL
TEREZI: *BL3GH*
TEREZI: TH3Y 4LL FORGOT TO T3LL YOU TH4T YOUR S1ST3R’S TURN3D 1NTO 4 PSYCHO MURD3RB1TCH!

BARK

JUNE: what?

You hear a harsh growl, and barely have the time to dodge as your sister comes barreling towards you. You whip to the side as she digs a furrow in the ground, sending the rest of your friends tumbling out of the way. She lands on all fours, teeth bared. Black energy is crackling around her, shade covering her skin and... oh my god she’s gone grimdark.

JADE: hi june!
JADE: could you do your big sister a big favor and stay still so i can capture you?
JUNE: um. no? jade, why did you go grimdark?
JADE:actually, june
JADE: >:) it’s grimBARK
JADE: and i have some orders from a very particular lady to make sure you stay put and don’t interfere with her plans.

Jade leaps for you again, almost catching you as you swoosh out of the way.

JUNE: jade, who is making you do this? this isn’t like you!
JADE:oh june, this is very much like me!
JADE: i am just so sick and tired of being nice all the time!!
JADE: shes just giving me an opportunity to really let loose >:)
JADE: oh, and as for the who?
JADE: it’s our great grandma!
JUNE: wait what!!!?

That distracts you just long enough for her to piledrive you, tackling you to the ground as you gasp for air. She grins triumphantly, putting a clawed hand around your throat, and punching you hard in the stomach. She never hit that hard in training, and you see bloodlust in her eyes. Her claws are glinting, poised to dig straight through your stomach and up through your ribs.

JADE: oh dont worry june
JADE: i’m not going to kill you! i just have to make sure you can’t get away!
JADE: and maybe
JADE: i can take out some of my frustration on you!

Get away. That’s right. You grasp ahold of some of that power that’s been taking you here and there. You can’t breathe, and you can’t use your breath to dissolve in the same way... but maybe...

You let yourself disperse, feeling fuzzy all over, and you become the breeze. You slip out through Jade’s fingers as she lets out a roar, and you vanish into the blank grey void.

Okay! That was very upsetting. You touch your fingers to your neck, and yeah that is going to leave one whopper bruise. You shake your head. Focus Egbert! Okay, you have a slightly better grasp on these powers now, so... now what?

You guess recon is the only way to do this right! Gather information and discover what the actual hell happened in this session to make it all go to shit as soon as you landed! Okay, so, lets just go back a bit and check out what is happening! So, before! You guess just as Jade and you entered the session, while you were sleeping like a goof-off! So, before the session, when you broke through the fenestrated plane... broke, broken, BREAK.

You find yourself in the void of space, a little ways off a trio of floating figures. A girl who looks a little like Nanna in a beige outfit, and another guy who... isn’t wearing pants. And is that, Jack? Oh god you have to do something, he’s about to kill your maybe-nanna and this other guy! This is what makes Jade go Grimbark isn’t it? Your teen parents get murderized, she sees it, and she does, well, what Rose did. That is definitely what would happen if she hadn’t just teleported right in front of them and zapped weird Jack away! Oh, thank goodness wait no what’s she doing. Her eyes are dilating, burning green, and she howls out, turning the color of volcanic ash, crackling with green lighting. She snaps her fingers, and some sort of red tiara appears on your nanna’s head, and she starts to... oh no. Jade teleports away, your Nanna punches the other guy, probably Jade’s grandpa, in the stomach and starts to carry him off. This hasn’t exactly cleared anything up, but you do the only thing you can, and follow them.

As you fly, you have a little time to think! Nothing like a life-or-death situation for a little premium-quality introspection, yeah? So, your new powers. When you went back to try and figure out what happened, you used... a word, right? It was BREAK! So, maybe you can use keywords to help you jump to fixed points in the timeline? You don’t know exactly how that works! And you don’t want to jump around now, not when you have a lead! Or you think you have a lead, this could all be a load of nonsense!

You start to approach the surface of Derse, purple spires jutting out into space. It looks like the moon was blown up, and you can see flaming chunks of building sailing off into space. Looking over, you spot another dot flying vaguely towards you! Jade, holding... is that Rose? No, that must be her mom! Wow this is already so weird!

You tail them from a distance, gently fluttering down as they approach a bridge set between two towers, alighting next to the biggest troll you’ve ever seen. You didn’t know they got that big but standing at what must be over ten feet tall is an incredibly imperious looking woman, black hair cascading down her back, casually flipping a wicked-looking trident around as she laughs at her new prisoners. So, is this your big bad? What about lord English? And doesn’t she look an awful lot like Meenah? Well, now your sister has dropped Rose’s mom, and she’s sniffing the air like she’s hunting and— ohhhhh no she’s not looking at you, is she?

JADE: hi june >:)

SHIT she is definitely looking at you. You try to fly away, but feel a sharp impact directly on your spine, Jade’s kick sending you spiraling down to the bridge, landing at the feet of this incredibly intimidating troll. A moment later, you feel a sharp pain directly on the small of your back, as Jade presses her heel into your spine, and you scream.

HIC: lol whos this scrub
JADE: thats my sister! i was wondering where she went, but it looks like she came right to us!
JANE: What should we do with her?
HIC: hmmmmmm
HIC: krill a bitch
JADE: um, why though? dont we need her for something?
HIC: nah
HIC: you n time bro are like neseassary for some sburb shit n for axing the bossman
HIC: these two got their uses aint that right janey
JANE: Correct. As pitiful as Jake is, I have plans for him.
JAKE: *whimper*
HIC: an of courser i gotta have ma trolls around in case the matriorb shiz goes belly-up
HIC: but idk who needs a blue windsock an
HIC: hang on u said sister
HIC: how tf does that make sense wheres john
HIC: my shitty fuckin son from yalls universe wheres he at
JADE: um, that is her! she’s just june now.
HIC: huh
HIC: weird
HIC: anyway yeah just ice her
JADE:
HIC: now call me fuckin crazy
HIC: but i dont see any a that mutie red blood runnin down ma wall
HIC: kill the bitch
JADE:
JADE: i mean couldnt we find another use for her? im sure that
HIC: KILL )(-ER NOW DOGBITC)( FOR-E I MAK-E YA RIP OUT YA OWN GUTS WIT)( YA T-E-ET)(
JANE: Your Highness.
HIC: W)(AT????
JANE: Jade has allowed her prisoner to escape.
HIC: UG)(
HIC: T)(IS is why ya dont get a human to do a troll job
HIC: dogfish you go find your prize or ya sleepin with the fishes
HIC: ill take out the trash

Jade's heel leaves your back and you have a split second to react, rolling out of the way just as a trident splits the ground where you were. Moving purely off instinct, you blindly rush away, into the dense streets and spires of Derse. You move as the wind through a crowd of carapacians, worriedly muttering and looking up to where the moon has been blasted to pieces, slipping under a door and ducking briefly into a speakeasy bathroom to catch your breath.

That went... poorly. You thought you were better at fighting, that you had a handle on things, but it took basically a second of real combat to get your ass handed to you. It occurs to you now that Jade might have been going a bit easy on you in training, maybe in order to assuage your ego. You let out a scream of frustration and hear the carapacian in the stall next to you curse and drop something in the toilet. You slam your palm against your forehead. Dammit Jade, why hadn’t she just been honest with you! You run your fingers gently over your throat, wincing at the pain. You’ve never seen her that brutal in a fight before. Generally, unlike DS, she refrained from actual hits, preferring instead to incapacitate, like that one time she trapped you in a mason jar for a whole hour. But here, she was brutal. You wonder if you ever realized how powerful your sister is. I mean, sure, you managed to drill a hole straight though the Battlefield to the core, but Jade has managed to shrink and pick up entire planets like they’re nothing! And now that she’s been let loose... let’s just make sure she doesn’t find you again.

You slip out of the speakeasy a few minutes later, hoping the trail has gone cold. As you take a look around, you see Jade holding Rose’s mom, carting her off to a tower off in the distance. You duck, and let a soft breeze carry your scent away from Derse, and tail her. You land on the opposite wall of the tower and think back to something Dave said earlier. You breathe in gently, and let the breeze carry the sound to you.

JADE: now, you arent going to be running away again, are you?
ROXY: i mean what happens if i do?
JADE: oh well thats pretty simple!
JADE: ill use my doggy nose to hunt you down
JADE: and then i will rip your legs off so your cant run anymore!
JADE: is that a satisfying answer?
ROXY: ok ok jeez i get it
ROXY: so i just gotta make this weird space egg 4 u and the batterwitch
ROXY: and then u let me go right?
JADE: hahahaha
JADE: no <3
ROXY: dammit
ROXY: okay so besides the obvs threats of death im not seein any way this is good 4 me
ROXY: like im thinkin 2wards the future jade! whats in it for me long-term? i gotta mortgage and eight kids to think about!
JADE: well, if you do this right, then an entire race of people will be saved, and you get to keep your legs!
JADE: sounds like a pretty good deal to me!
ROXY: le sign
ROXY: jeez i guess so
JADE: good! then you do your job, and ill do mine!
ROXY: yeah n besides being like a murderfurry what is ur job
JADE: well her condescension is a bit mad at me right now :(
JADE: because of you my sister got away!
ROXY: o the one she wanted u 2 kill?
JADE: yes
ROXY: u gonna do it?
JADE: ill do what i have to to make sure her plans come to fruition!
ROXY: thats fuckin cold jadey
JADE: dont call me that!
ROXY: kk gotcha
JADE: grr. now i have to hunt her down, and she is really hard to track down right now!
JADE: this is such a pain

You hear the telltale zap of Jade’s teleportation, and wait a few moments, some sighs and curses echoing out from the room. Then, you slip in through the bars, materializing on the floor just as a cube whacks you right in the face, knocking you on your ass.

JUNE: ow! what the hell was that for?
ROXY: SHIT sorry i was just getting frustrated didnt mean 2 whack u
ROXY: wait no who r u and why r u in my cell
ROXY: dark hair gals keep appearin near me with dubious intent
ROXY: *suspicious*
JUNE: uh, nope! nothing suspicious about me at all!
JUNE: wait why did i say it like that now i definitely sound suspicious.
ROXY: lmao
ROXY: ok ur probably not one of the batterwitches gals
ROXY: so who r u
JUNE: oh, i’m june!
ROXY: coolcool
ROXY: but like
ROXY: ok if im followin along here rite
ROXY: puttin together all the dots in mah head
ROXY: i still dont know who tf u r
JUNE: oh shoot, right! i am jane’s daughter, i guess! ectobiologically speaking.
ROXY: okaaaaaay
ROXY: but like
ROXY: pretty sure that i just met janes ectodaughter like 5 secs ago
ROXY: pretty memorable encounter tbh
ROXY: she threatened 2 rip my legs off like twice
JUNE: oh, that’s my sister, jade! i’m sorry, she is not usually like that! she’s really a sweet person!
ROXY: yea i figure there was some weird magyyks up in this bitch she seemed 2 not be 2 happy about the whole killin u thing
ROXY: but wait like
ROXY: janey afaik unless shes been ectobiologically shackin up w someone else only has one daughter
ROXY: wait
ROXY: o shit r u trans?
JUNE: um, yeah i am! surprise!
ROXY: ooooooooook now that makes a lot more sense!
ROXY: so like in this universe itd make u janeys sorta-daughter-sorta grandma
ROXY: shit thats so cool! lol i thot i was the only trans girl around
ROXY: gotta share the room or fight 2 the death thems the only options tbh
JUNE: oh, well we aren’t the—
JUNE: oh wait i shouldn’t say that!
ROXY: :0
ROXY: wait june r there more of us
JUNE: um, well i don’t think i should say! isn’t that supposed to be like, rude?
ROXY: damn i guess ur rite
ROXY: well im pretty clever im sure ill figure it out eventually ;)
ROXY: wait shit that sounds like im gonna go round clockin people
ROXY: to be clear im not gonna do that!
JUNE: i mean, i believe you! you seem to be really nice! you’re roxy, right?
JUNE: plus, us trans girls have to stick together!
ROXY: hmmmm so ur sayin that janey n jade got possessed bc theyre cis
JUNE: what, no i did not say that!
ROXY: u didnt have 2 june
ROXY: dw ill get the bus fired up
JUNE: what bus??? i am very confused at the moment!
ROXY: hm ye thats a lil b4 ur time
ROXY: n i dont rly wanna run jane over no matter how much of a beeyotch shes bein rn
JUNE: and i don’t want to run over my sister with a bus!
ROXY: mkay powerin it down
ROXY: not reachin 4 the gas @ all
JUNE: roxy!
JUNE: take your foot off the gas or so help me!
ROXY: damn
ROXY: june hawkeye egbert here fightin for cis rights
ROXY: truly the hero we all need

You both laugh at that. Wow, you didn’t expect another person in the session to be a trans girl! There sure are a lot of you, aren’t there! To you, of course, this is just cool! You never knew there were so many of you, especially in one place! But there’s probably nothing weird going on here at all, just the wonderful serendipity of the universe! The chances of confusion being sown somewhere out in Paradox Space over this development, you figure, are next to zero!

ROXY: so its like
ROXY: rly cool to meet u n all
ROXY: ive only ever seen pictures n stuff of old guy u an
ROXY: ok june if u ever go into janeys house just i want u to b prepared 4 whatever u might see in there
ROXY: bc like her familys got som fuckin wacked-out traditions an
JUNE: does she have my stuffed corpse in the living room?
ROXY: well hot damn
ROXY: u realy r her daughter that was sharp
ROXY: how tf did u figure that shit out?!
JUNE: oh, jade told me that she had to taxidermy her grandpa when she was like four years old! she kept him in the living room.
ROXY: fuck no wonder shes like that
JUNE: no no, jade’s usually really nice!
ROXY: naw i get it i was just jokin lmao
ROXY: but srsly what brings u out here to my home away from home
ROXY: by which i mean jail
JUNE: honestly, it seems like things have really gone to shit out here!
ROXY: u dont say
JUNE: so i am just doing a little recon to try and figure out what the hell is going on over here!
ROXY: mhm
JUNE: and you seemed to be in need of some help, so i came here
ROXY: yep
JUNE: roxy are you okay? you seem a little distracted?
ROXY: hm what?
ROXY: oh
ROXY: oh sorry was just thinking
JUNE: about what?
ROXY: uuhmmmmmmm
ROXY: okay i rlllllly shouldnt say about what
JUNE: why not?
ROXY: its like, just some issues i got 2 work thru
ROXY: absolutely not smthn i should be sharin with any random cute girl that pops into my cell
JUNE: i mean, if you want to talk, we can!
ROXY: nope nope no way in hell
ROXY: everytime i bring my shit up with other people it always just blows tf up
ROXY: nah ill just deal with it on my own like uzhe
ROXY: yoozh?
ROXY: fuck thats a weird word
JUNE: well that doesn’t seem very healthy!
ROXY: its cool ive done it b4
ROXY: everyone elses got bigger issues 2 deal with
JUNE: well...
JUNE: i mean technically i do have stuff going on!
JUNE: but that doesn’t mean i can’t listen to you for a little while!
ROXY: hm but big fuckin counterpoint
ROXY: sayin what im thinkin would make me seem like a shithead
ROXY: like grade-a scuzzball material shit rite here
JUNE: okay, how about this! no matter what you say, i am not allowed to judge you for any of it, okay!
ROXY: thats a lot of fuckin power junebug
ROXY: u sure u wanna vest that shit in me?
JUNE: i trust you! whatever you say, not a word of judgement out of me!
ROXY: ok then
ROXY: im actually workin 4 the batterwitch and i looooove subjugation
ROXY: cant get enough of it
JUNE: mhm! interesting!
ROXY: HATE cats
ROXY: glad i can finally say it! cats? psh, no thank u maam!
JUNE: wow!
JUNE: (hehe, im assuming these are all tests.)
ROXY: (yes juney u get me)
JUNE: (wait why are we whispering?)
ROXY: (no clue)
ROXY: so
ROXY: actual confession time with a girl i met like 5 minutes ago whos the kid of two of my best buds
ROXY: ...
ROXY: so i guess
ROXY: uuuuuuugh this is so shitty but
ROXY: like
ROXY: i thot there were gonna be like
ROXY: more guys in this session
ROXY: U SEE UGH THIS IS SO SHITTY
JUNE: hey, um, no judgement!
ROXY: ...
ROXY: like its
ROXY: ok u look like a girl combo of jane n jake n i might have a teeny tiny crush on jake
ROXY: and i was like “oh dam alt-universe version of jake comin over with no weird involvement with our fucked-up friend group?”
ROXY: “wuh oh its fuckin mack-o-clock time to seduce my bestie’s gpa”
ROXY: but obvs ur a girl now
ROXY: which i should restate is fucking baller as hell and im so glad and like
ROXY: ur clearly rly pretty n happy as who u r n im fuckin ecstatic 2 have another tgalpal
ROXY: and like it was shitty of me n the first place bc like ur a full person and not like some arm candy for me to glom onto bc theres lich rally nobody else in the entire universe
ROXY: bc this reduces the count of guys in this universe to like 2 and neither of them r exactly available
ROXY: and fuck i really fuckin ruined my relationship with both of them
ROXY: like dirk wasnt available to me in the first place but i got so fuckin hooked on this apocalypse fantasy
ROXY: “oh u and i r the last man n woman on earth cmon it doesnt take an ectobiologist 2 figure out that we gotta start poppin out babies STAT”
ROXY: but like
ROXY: hes gay and then i
ROXY: ugh im a fuckin scumbag
ROXY: i kissed him
ROXY: and i feel like a total piece of shit bc that was a violation of his boundaries in like
ROXY: every possible way
ROXY: fuck
ROXY: i was even too much of a coward to apologize to his fuckin face
JUNE:
JUNE: wow that was.
JUNE: a lot!
ROXY: lol see told u
ROXY: u probly think im the worst now
ROXY: its ok u can say it
JUNE: i was not going to say that!
JUNE: roxy it sounds like you have been through a lot!
JUNE: do you know what ive been doing for the past three years? basically nothing!
JUNE: i just hung out with my sister on the ship, and sometimes rose and kanaya when i managed to make it into a dream bubble!
JUNE: i came out and trained, but basically all the drama i had on the ship got resolved really quickly and easily!
JUNE: you sound like you were stuck in a bad situation for a really long time without anyone to really support you!
ROXY: whaaaat no i had plenty of support
ROXY: janey was always there for me!
ROXY: well usually i was listenin 2 her problems
ROXY: but tbf she had more of them and she had like so much on her plate
ROXY: i had fefeta! gosh shes such a good listener
ROXY: like she didnt really get it all
ROXY: shes like 2 aliens that did some postmortem fusion dance so she doesnt rly get human romance
ROXY: she kept askin why i didnt just make jane my kissy mesis if i was so annoyed @ her
ROXY: still no idea wtf she meant by that
JUNE: okay, so you did have some support! but it doesn’t sound like any of them really had the context or space to understand your problems!
JUNE: so, from this moment onwards, i am making a promise to help you with whatever your current problem is!
ROXY: okay ur like way too fuckin nice
ROXY: whats in this for u?
JUNE: well, nothing really!
JUNE: but you are rose’s daughter which makes us friends in my estimation!
ROXY: oh shit yeah
ROXY: mo-
ROXY: rose
ROXY:
ROXY: okay if ur gonna make me do this i want one favor
ROXY: whats she like?
JUNE: rose? oh she’s great! she’s really smart, and pretty, and honestly kind of scary at times, but not in a bad way? back when we were playing our session she did a lot of blowing things up and communing with eldritch gods!
ROXY: wait ur fuckin tellin me that my daughter is like a real life wizard
ROXY: okay despite literally everything else this is the greatest day of my entire life
JUNE: yep! she can do all sorts of spells and stuff!
ROXY: does she like cats?
JUNE: she does! her sprite is actually a version of her dead cat fused with a weird eldritch princess doll!
ROXY: yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
ROXY: okay does she like
ROXY: write any wizard shit?
JUNE: oh she does but she tries really hard to hide it from everyone else!
ROXY: mmmm, so shes a closet wizard, i c
ROXY: okay final question
ROXY: what does she like
ROXY: feel about me?
JUNE: um. roxy i don’t think i should be the one to tell you that! you should save it for a conversation with her.
JUNE: (preferably when she is not drunk.)
ROXY: wut?
JUNE: nothing!
JUNE: but i can say that she’s probably excited to meet you!
ROXY: well!
ROXY: aaaaaaaahhhhh
JUNE: are you okay?
ROXY: no im totally fine its just
ROXY: i spent a lotta years idolizin her and now i finally get the chance 2 meet her in person
ROXY: its a lot! what if im a fuckin disappointment to her?
JUNE: roxy, trust me! rose is really cool, but she’s also a big nerd! you aren’t going to be a disappointment!
JUNE: and plus we are all still just teenagers so i don’t know if anyone is going to completely fit anyone else’s expectations of our adult selves!
ROXY: hmm yeah ur rite
ROXY: thx juney :)
JUNE: hehe, no problem! anything else i can help with?
ROXY: wow u crockerenglishes r really all just like this huh?
JUNE: haha, what do you mean, what’s a crockerenglish?
ROXY: u no like
ROXY: jake n janes last name
JUNE: wait, crocker as in betty crocker?
ROXY: uhhhh yeah
ROXY: wait lol did u not know
ROXY: ok so janey is the heiress to crockercorp n all that shit
ROXY: also betty crocker is an alien fishbitch who took over earth n genocided everyone on it
ROXY: that was actually her back there on the bridge
ROXY: me n dirk r from the future
JUNE:
JUNE: what the actual fuck!
ROXY: lol tell me abt it
JUNE: is that why she was talking about me being her kid?
JUNE: why jade said that she was working for her great grandma!
ROXY: wow juney u ok
JUNE: no roxy, i feel like i am about to have a major fucking conniption!
JUNE: is this why i’ve always hated betty crocker? some latent knowledge that she’s actually my mom/grandma/great-grandma?
JUNE: i think i’m going to flip the fuck out honestly! what the fuck is all this bullshit!
ROXY: ok june calm tf down we dont wanna alert the batterwitch’s goons
JUNE: no roxy, i’m not going to calm down! i am tired of always being the calm one when things go to shit!
JUNE: aren’t you sick of it roxy? we are in such a fucked-up situation but we just have to sit by and shove our feelings about it down!
ROXY: um
ROXY: u know
ROXY: fuck it yea ur right
ROXY: i am sick an tired of it!
ROXY: but!!!!
ROXY: like u still might get caught so we gotta be careful
JUNE: well then let’s go somewhere where we won’t get caught!
ROXY: wait wut

You grab her hand and zap out of the cell, not thinking of any place in particular, just wanting to get away. You pop back into reality in the limitless white void that you flown through before, a featureless eternity stretching around you.

ROXY: ok wait was this a mistake where tf r we
ROXY: what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
JUNE: oh sorry! i should have asked first, but i don’t really know! i think it’s sort of a place outside of places?
ROXY:
ROXY: ok yeah that doesnt make sense girl but imma just go with it bc ur looking mad as all hell!
JUNE: i am mad! we are in a goddamn hellfire of a situation right now and we just have to keep it calm all the time!
JUNE: the world ended, i spent three years stuck on a big boat in space, and now that i can finally meet all my friends, but then BETTY FUCKING CROCKER comes out of nowhere, mind-controls my sister and my grandma, and basically every thing goes to shit!!!!!
ROXY: yea
ROXY: YEA!!!!
ROXY: i spend fuckin SIX MONTHS dickin around the session with my friends just 4 us all to get hooked on weird razzle-dazzle bullshit candy
ROXY: that made us all say sum shit that we did NOT wanna say out loud!!!!
ROXY: and then we all got fuckin gigahangovers until we got blown up!
ROXY: i had to spend 6 months listenin to jane slowly go insane from jake bein a clueless goddamn dork who barely talked 2 her besides whining abt his bf problems!!!
ROXY: but did i have anyone to talk to about it? NOOOOOOO, because im fuckin ROXY LALONDE and apparently that means i can just deal with everythin on my own!!!!!!!
ROXY: o im dealin with major fuckin withdrawal bc i spent years getting drunk off my ass? eh its cool ill deal with it on my own, it’s fucking N!!!!!!! P!!!!!!!!
ROXY: OH CALLIE IS FUCKIN GONE N WERE JUST GONNA PRETEND LIKE EVERYTHINS FINE!!!! COOL FUCKIN BEANS!!
ROXY: and like!!!!! god i care abt them all so much i rly do!!!!!
ROXY: theyre my best friends in the goddamn world but sometimes they can just be so fuckin oblivious!!!!!!
ROXY: I JUST WANT EVERYTHIN TO BE OK AGAIN, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!?!?!
ROXY: *huff puff*
ROXY: wooooooooooo
ROXY: ok
ROXY: that felt good
JUNE: hehe, right?
ROXY: WOW i think i just needed 2 get that out of my system
ROXY: sry i kinda took over ur rant spot there
JUNE: roxy, don’t apologize for that! i got what i needed to out my system, hehe!
ROXY: fuck yea
ROXY: well anytime u wanna bring me 2 the void to shout abt how bullshit life is im down 2 fuckin clown
ROXY: hm
ROXY: void...

Roxy takes out a folder and opens it sticking her tongue out and looking at the contents.

JUNE: oh, is that a matriorb?
ROXY: june how tf do u know what this is
JUNE: kanaya told me about it! she’s an alien like betty crocker only she doesn’t suck!
JUNE: well she is a vampire so she does suck in that way but she’s really nice!
JUNE: she was kind of responsible for carrying the matriorb to restore the troll race once they beat the game, but then some guy blew up the orb and killed her.
ROXY: oh noes
ROXY: shit sorry abt ur friend
JUNE: oh she’s alive! troll vampire stuff i think, i don’t really understand how it works!
ROXY: oh phew she sounds 2 kewl 2 die
JUNE: oh, she is also rose’s girl friend!
ROXY: !
ROXY: woah so
ROXY: my mom is gay?
ROXY: huh
ROXY: neat!
ROXY: probly shouldve guessed it from complacency tbh
ROXY: there were like waaaaaaay too many gay wizard sex scenes 4 her 2 not be tbh
JUNE: is there ever such a thing as too many gay wizard sex scenes though?
ROXY: 4 13y/o me? probly lol
ROXY: in general? nope
JUNE: well i am glad we can agree on something!
JUNE: but why do you have a picture of the matriorb in a folder? and why is there glitter all over it?
ROXY: courtesy of snorkelbitch
ROXY: she wants me 2 voidy up this egg so she can have a new race of her own peeps 2 subjugate
ROXY: n im not too jazzed abt it but jade said shed kill me if i didnt
JUNE: well, maybe i can help! i mean, we are kind of in a void right now.
JUNE: and maybe me knowing kanaya can like, help? honestly not so sure of that one but it is worth a try!
ROXY: hmmmmmmmm
ROXY: eh, why not?

She folds her legs and closes her eyes, and you follow suit. You try and concentrate on what you know about Kanaya. You think of the pain in her voice as she talked about losing the matriorb and losing her friends. You think of how it felt to put a hand on her back, you and Rose letting her know that you were there for her. The way she always talked about hope for the future, that one day trolls could live free from the iron grip of the Empress. You think of her commitment to life, and at the same time her Alternian desensitization to death. You think of the way her short haircut curls around her pointed ear, the sharp horn that you pricked yourself on once, the kind of weird way she licked your finger afterwards before profusely apologizing. You think of her hand in yours, thin and a little alien but comforting as you took your first shot of E, and the love and community that spread from you knowing each other in a way few others would. You think of all this, what you know of Kanaya Maryam, and into Roxy’s hands falls the matriorb.

JUNE: :0
ROXY: :0
ROXY: holy shit!!!!
ROXY: what the hell thats it!
ROXY: omg that feels weird as hell its all veiny n knobbly
JUNE: roxy you did it! you voidy’d the egg!
JUNE: huh that was a weird statement!
ROXY: fuck yeah i did it!
ROXY: oh no i did it
ROXY: oh shit ok thats probly not good
ROXY: like i rly dont wanna hand this over 2 the batterwitch just yet
ROXY: partially bc im not totes sure jade wont make me in2 dog food
ROXY: and also for the aforementioned subjugation
ROXY: wait
ROXY: why dont u hold onto it!
JUNE: huh, why me?
ROXY: u see anyone else here?
ROXY: anyway u know someone whos actually gonna do good shit with it
ROXY: so u can give it 2 her and she can bring back all the trolls without the witch bein able to control it
ROXY: in the meantime, ill just keep makin pumpkins and PGOs until u got a better plan to get all of us outta here
JUNE: wow! okay, thank you!
ROXY: june u know how fuckin much u already helped today?
ROXY: like unless u know how 2 bring someone back from the dead i think you’ve done enough lol
JUNE: what, like a magic life ring?
ROXY: yea lmfao got any of those layin around
JUNE: uhh, i think so! i just left it on my couch when i fell asleep, i can go back and grab it!
ROXY: fdsdsfsdsd good one
ROXY: u really r janes kid huh that was one genuine yuckster
JUNE: im serious! do you have someone you need to bring back?
ROXY:
ROXY: okay if ur prankin me well played n also im gonna punch u so hard ur glasses fly off ur dorky face
JUNE: no pranks today! i got it in a dream from a troll who found it in a desert after some weird orange guy dropped it!
JUNE: apparently it can bring ghosts back to life, so if you have someone in mind, i could give it to you!
ROXY: hopy shit
ROXY: *holy
ROXY: like
ROXY: okay long fuckin story short i have this friend named callie shes a total fuckin sweetheart n her brother whos this fuckin weird asshole killed her and i miss her so much and i think shed be realy good to bring back
JUNE: haha, okay roxy! i’ll grab the ring and give it to you!
ROXY: wait rly just like that
JUNE: just like that! honestly it is kind of a relief to give it over, that feels like way too much power!
ROXY: shit
ROXY: okay hey i know this is weird but

She floats over and grabs you in a hug. It’s tight and quick, and she releases you, a few tears staining the edges of her rogue’s mask.

ROXY: lol sorry
ROXY: i just
ROXY: ty so fuckin much june
JUNE: just doing what i can! i should get back to recon though, i still don’t entirely understand what is going on!

You take the matriorb, and wow that does feel weird, like holding a watermelon made out of shaved rats. You captchalogue it for later, then warp you and Roxy back to the cell.

ROXY: well ill see u around windy girl
ROXY: if u see mom
ROXY: if u see rose
ROXY: um
ROXY: tell her that im lookin forward to meetin her?
ROXY: and that im sorry
JUNE: roxy, i’ll tell her that, but you have nothing to be sorry for! you’re a pretty cool person, and i hope we can hang out more when the world isn’t going to end!
ROXY: lol true
ROXY: thx juney

She pulls you into another hug, and you warp out of the cell, floating again in the space outside of space.
That went really well! You have more information on what’s going on, and you think you’re really starting to get a handle on your powers! Like, you managed to go back and change something for the better. What if you could change other things, go back and make sure things go differently! You take a second to think, and a grin breaks across your face. Would that even work? Why not? Think about it, if you did that earlier, everything could be better! It took you so long to realize, but maybe things would be different with a little help! You fire up your retcon powers, and fly once again into the past.

ROXY:
ROXY: what the fuck
ROSE: This is... unexpected.
ROXY: rose this is goin a bit fuckin further than just unexpected
ROXY: le showin up here jugglin hula hoops and singin evanescence would be unexpected
ROXY: this is just
ROXY: just fuckin
ROSE: Irreconcilable?
ROXY: sure
ROXY: like u fuckin heard lil me down there
ROXY: shes apparently a fuckin trans girl and well
ROXY: i mean its pretty fuckin clear that im not
ROXY: so like what the hell
JAKE: I dont even know where the hell to start.

You are now JAKE ENGLISH. Your little ragtag group were all sitting around the monitor, watching the conversation between younger June and Roxy play out. That little tidbit dropped like a fucking bomb in the room, and you aren’t sure how to pick up the pieces.

JUNE: did.
JUNE: did the retcon cause that? i don’t even understand like. any of this!
ROSE: It’s a possibility, but unlikely? At least in terms of a direct cause, I’m not sure if there’s anything that we did.
ROSE: We postulated that our pre and/or post-scratch versions had the same genetic code as us, but due to circumstances, we were never able to confirm it.
ROSE: Hell, the entire process of ectobiology is still a mystery. Most of the game constructs run off mechanics that even I can’t crack.
ROXY: kk rosy but we aren’t talkin about biology here
ROXY: like who cares if pre-scratch u was cis or not
ROXY: its different routes 2 the same person yea?
ROXY: this is fuckin different routes 2 2 totally different gender identities
ROXY: so again
ROXY: wtf
TEREZI: Y34H 1 GOT FUCK1NG NOTH1NG.
ROXY:
ROXY: did
ROXY:
ROXY: did dirk do this?
ROXY: like no he wouldnt ofc like he was trans 2 but
ROXY:
ROXY: jesus idk
JUNE: roxy, i don’t think dirk would have done this! he did some pretty messed-up shit but that feels like a bridge too far!
ROXY: yea
ROXY: ur probly rite
ROXY: but that still leaves us with a big fucking :?
ROSE: Well. Again, I don’t really know what’s going on. But, your connection to the Void aspect, as well as your affinity for genetic sciences, could have created a sort of genetic schrodinger’s cat situation, swapping around an aspect of your DNA for another. Of course, that still doesn’t explain the divergent identities.
ROXY: yea
ROXY: fuck
ROXY: i think im gonna like
ROXY: go 4 a bit
ROXY: yall go on ahead

Roxy walks out of the room, leaving silence in the room. Rose and Terezi begin discussing the hows and whys between themselves, June half listening, half still glued to the screen. You, as usual, sit about like a lump. To be frank, you hadn’t done much on this mission. This was a mission for stealth and intellect, not gumption, so you're about as useful on this mission as a tank at a tax convention. You look at the hallway where one of your best pals just fled in disarray. You set your jaw. Well, useful or no, you can at least try to comfort a friend in need. You stand up without a word and follow Roxy. You don’t head for his room. When Roxy gets overwhelmed, they tend to head off to the darkest, most obscure corner available, like a cat seeking a new haunt. You know your own ship decently well, as you were the one to approve the final schematics. The boiler room, that’s where Roxy would be. You could have gone without one, stuck with cold showers, but the memory of a man who so loved his ablutions had traced itself into the initial design. A man you killed, and a man you still miss despite it all. You slide open the door, and see the glint of pink glass etched out in the shadow of a humming boiler.

ROXY: jake wtf
ROXY: cant a guy gets some privacy when hes starin down the barrel of an existential sniper rifle
JAKE: Well if you want me to leave i will.
ROXY: *sign*
ROXY: nah u can stay
ROXY: pull up a box of ambiguous materials n have ur ass a seat
ROXY: whysit that spaceships n stuff always have just random crates lyin around
JAKE: Well these are hardly random! This is a crate full of uhhh dubiously branded chocolate bars.
ROXY: you holdin out on me english?
ROXY: crack one a those bad bois open papas got their cravins

You open one of the crates and toss Roxy a few Crocklate Bars™. They grimace at the label, a hint of grief visible past his glasses, but tears open a bar and start scarfing it down. You open another, letting the sickly-sweet taste coat your tongue. You had gotten quite a sweet tooth after the game, and Jane being your friend certainly didn’t help with matters.

ROXY: mm i can feel my heart dyin already
ROXY: that patented crockercorp™ shit
ROXY: u kno janeys folks made a type of sugar thats sweeter than the real shit?
JAKE: Get outta town!
ROXY: its true
ROXY: its like a fuckin centisacchiride or some shit lmao
ROXY: thats why all their shit tastes like death n ecstasy
JAKE: Well that certainly explains it. Is that legal?
ROXY: probly not but eh
ROXY: tastes good
JAKE: Youre on the money on that one lalonde!
ROXY: lol when am i not
JAKE: Youve got me there! Youre a genuine credit to our sex rox and i dont say that lightly!
ROXY: ah yea the gender troubles
ROXY: they come back 2 haunt us
JAKE: Should i call june? Going by her film preferences she seems to be just the gal to call for a gender exorcism!
ROXY: nah shes 2 busy atm
ROXY: plus idk if shes actually that good @ ghostbusting
JAKE: Are you suggesting that wearing a shirt with a movie ghost on it every day doesnt make a girl a ghostbuster?
ROXY: jake thats exactly what tf im implyin
ROXY: juneys a fuckin fraud
JAKE: Lies and slander! I never met a more honest gal in all my life!
JAKE: Plus how dare you speak that way about my daughter!
ROXY: rofl i forget sometimes how similar you two are
ROXY: if i was still tryin to go 4 her would i have to ask u for her hand in marriage?
JAKE: Please roxy im hardly *that* old-fashioned! You would just have to face me in one-on-one fisticuffs!
JAKE: Of course i am pretty sure you would thoroughly wallop my ass through a wall so ill just give you permission up front!
ROXY: lmao thx jake now thats settled
ROXY: pretty sure that ships sailed now that shes with rezi tbh
ROXY: and even if shes poly pretty sure roses been makin moony eyes @ her so not a chance
JAKE: Fair enough roxy! Fair enough.
ROXY: but yeah the fuckin gender thing
ROXY: like idk what 2 think
ROXY: ive been pretty go w/the flow in terms of gender so far but seein other me just fucked me up six ways from sunday
ROXY: like
ROXY: the whole “ultimate self” shit always kinda confused me
ROXY: on the surface it makes fuckin sense rite
ROXY: sburb shed off dead timeline duplicates and clones like a fuckin mutant cat in summer
ROXY: and how do u reconcile bein the only one who made it out alive
ROXY: and its like o have we got the fuckin solushe 4 u
ROXY: WAMMO every one of the yous is now one you
ROXY: and i guess that made sense 4 a while
ROXY: but i see that lil girl on the screen so happy to be who she is
ROXY: and i just cant reconcile that with who i am now
ROXY:
ROXY: and if one version of me is a completely diffs person, what does that mean for other ppl
JAKE: Youre talking about dirk arent you.
ROXY: *sigh*
ROXY: yeah
ROXY: when r we ever NOT talkin abt dirk
JAKE: The man does have a tendency to stick in your head!
ROXY: yeah
ROXY: god like i hate that i even thot that he could
ROXY: like
ROXY: do what i thot he mighta done
ROXY: like was dirk a fuckin shithead who decided to ruin everyone’s lives 4 the sake of relevance?
ROXY: yeah
ROXY: but like i gotta hold some faith in him
ROXY: god sometimes i wish i could just talk to him again yk?
ROXY: if only to find out wtf is goin on in that head of his
JAKE: I think id like that too.

You kick the back of your boot against the box, then realize that you are being an idiot.

JAKE: Jumpin jezebels what am i saying? Roxy we can talk to dirk again!
ROXY: jake wtf r u talkin abt
ROXY: oh god if this is some weird fuckin soul possession shit imma ollie outie this fuckin void
JAKE: No its not a possession rox!
JAKE: Well i guess its not not a possession but that is besides the point!
ROXY: feelin less confident in u by the minute jake-o
JAKE: I mean its a bit of a far-fetched scenario but its still a true one!
JAKE: Years ago nevermind the how or when i got an uninvited visitor in my head in the form of dirk strider himself!
JAKE: At first i thought he was just some trick of my thoughts but after a pinch of conversation i found that somehow my hope powers made him quasi-real!
JAKE: I havent talked to the guy in quite a while! For obvious reasons i either had my bro in real life or...
JAKE: Well.
JAKE: Regardless i think he may be able to give us some insight into what was rattling around dirks skull at the time.

Roxy stares at you like you’ve just grown a second head, which you suppose isn’t an inaccurate descriptor of your situation. Then he shrugs, horks down another bar, and sighs.

ROXY: fuck it this isnt even like the fifth weirdest thing 2 happen this week
JAKE: Alrighty! One brain ghost dirk coming up!

You rub your hands together and press them to your temples, and you hear Roxy snicker a little bit. Hell if this actually does anything, but you find a bit of ritual helps you center your powers better. You close your eyes, and call out to the voice in your head, the little mind that always kicked your ass and told you to keep going. You hear a shuffle as Roxy curses, and you open your eyes to see him for the first time in a long while. Same black tank top and jeans, glasses and a gaze sharper than knives, Dirk Strider is leaning against one of the other crates in the room, arms folded. His image wavers and fuzzes in and out, but as you see him, he becomes more solid, the slightest transparency around his edges, just a tiny bit less fake.

ROXY: oh holy fuck
DIRK: Hey.
DIRK: So before anything else is said I’d just like to clarify a few things.
DIRK: First is that I understand the fuck out of why you wouldn’t want to bring me back into existence given the existential nightmare clusterfuck my ultimate self brought onto all of you.
DIRK: And also, I’m going to preemptively apologize for anything that he did. The actions of that Dirk are not endorsed by all Dirks yaddayadda.
DIRK: Anyways, hi Roxy, it’s good to see you, congrats on the transition.
ROXY: ummm
ROXY: wow jeez
DIRK: Take your time. I know I can be a bit of an overwhelming person.
ROXY: dirk no its cool
ROXY: is dirk ok?
DIRK: Dirk is fine. Technically speaking I’m the only Dirk left in this particular fragment of the timeline.
DIRK: Ult-Dirk is dead, Hal is gone with Lord English, so I stand as the only representative of old-universe Dirk’s many neuroses.
ROXY: coolcool
ROXY: so
ROXY: um
ROXY: god this is fuckin awkward
DIRK: Look I totally get it. Like I said, hard guy to be around, and the situation could not be more upsetting.
DIRK: Okay that’s a lie I can think of hundreds of different ways it could be more upsetting but I’m not going to divulge those because frankly I’ve rambled on long enough.

You crack a smile. You really did miss him and his endless bloviating, despite how much it could get on your nerves.

JAKE: Well its good to see you again dirk! I would apologize but it seems youve already preempted that.
DIRK: Good to see you in person too, though since I live inside your brain, I basically see you every day.
DIRK: But it’s not often that I get a commute to the real world so I’ll take what I can get.
DIRK: Oh, and also just to tie up this little loose end, no Dirk didn’t do anything to mess with your gender.
DIRK: My best theory is what Rose said. Your particular situation both as a void player, and as someone who has connections to various kinds of sburbian technologies, caused some kind of timeline mutation. Not a malignant one, but just something that happened.
ROXY: so what ur saying
ROXY: is that ive got some kind of quantum gender thing goin on
DIRK: That’s basically the gist of it. Honestly the void aspect being a part of it naturally makes it all kind of inscrutable.
DIRK: But you are you, Roxy. As you as you’ll ever be.
ROXY: hm
ROXY: huh
ROXY: well i guess havin the fuckin schrodinger’s cat of gender is pretty cool
ROXY: thanks dirk

He nods curtly.

DIRK: I’m fortunate, or unfortunate I suppose, to have a little insight into what was going on with that guy.
DIRK: As a heart player, I have a certain sense for what all the various splinters are doing at any given time.
DIRK: I tried to tell you what I could Jake but...
DIRK: Well, I think it’s understandable that you didn’t believe in me much. Maybe if I had managed to be more useful, then none of this would have happened.
JAKE: Dirk for lands sakes there was nothing you specifically did! Youve been there to give me a kick in the tush when im out for the count!
JAKE: Its my fault for making you think i didnt need you anymore!
JAKE: It just seemed to make er other dirk moody when i brought you up!
DIRK: Yeah. For us all being basically the same guy he was pretty hostile to all of us. I can’t blame him for that, he was dealing with his own problems and we weren’t really helping.
DIRK: Not an excuse, mind you, but when he went Ultimate, he suddenly had about a thousand more voices in his head than he was used to.
DIRK: And due to weird timeline bullshit, that included Lord English. Not to mention Dave’s abusive bro and some creepy cueball fucker.
DIRK: To those of us who had only a passing glance at the whole disaster of Dirk Strider, it was mostly just a cautionary tale. Or a way to say, “well at least I’m not that guy.”
DIRK: But for Ult? He was that guy. And he basically decided to use his power for the worst possible purpose.
DIRK: A new inch was carved from the bottom of the barrel, and now we’re here, trying to fix what he fucked up.
ROXY: true that
ROXY: hey least we are tryin to fix things
ROXY: honestly besides the whole debacle that just happened thingsve been goin pretty smoothly!
JAKE: Thanks to you four! I havent been able to contribute a drop of spit in a rainstorm!
ROXY: jake thats total bs
DIRK: Yeah, hard agree with Rox on this one. You’re making a difference just by being here.
ROXY: and like even if u werent ur our friend jake!
ROXY: we like u bein here whatever ur doin
DIRK: Oh, I was speaking in a more direct way. Jake, your power is hope. You are literally making people feel better just by being by them. I doubt this ship would have done anything if you weren’t here to provide a little bit of your panache.
JAKE: Well i hardly believe thats true! Junes the one whos been cranking us into high gear this whole time!
DIRK: And you think that’s just about her? What about that time you brought her coffee, and she started literally glowing.
JAKE: Well you know these blasted lights! Bought them for a song from the wholesaler not my best business endeavor.
ROXY: jake omg u are literally the light of this ship ok
ROXY: u got me to talk to june about her plans for the future
ROXY: and thanks to that were not gonna vanish into the fuckin ether
ROXY: she got up n did the dishes the next morning, and there is no way in frickin hell anyone can do that without some sorta supernatural influence
JAKE: Well maybe i have been helping a bit. But lets not discredit our gals accomplishments! She pulled herself out of the rut she was in!
DIRK: She did, but this isn’t some big competition. I think that’s what I never understood. I was too focused on myself to notice it.
DIRK: We survive together. No one can make it out there on their own.
DIRK: Roxy, you were the only thing holding our little group of friends together during the game, at the expense of your own sanity. We should have been there to hold you up.
ROXY: look dirk u specifically had nothin to do with it
ROXY: i did what i needed to bc i care about u! i care about all of us.
ROXY: and maybe if i had kept doin it... maybe jane n callie would still be here
JAKE: Well maybe if i hadnt been such a pushover i could have kept us from cracking. Rox there are too many what-ifs to daydream about what could have been.
JAKE: All we can do is stick together moving forward!
JAKE: Alpha kids against the world! Well not against but the point stands!

You put your hand out, right in the center of them. Roxy snorts, but gets up, wiping a chocolate-covered hand on their jeans and putting his hand on top of yours.

ROXY: you, jake english, are a fuckin dork, and i love you so much
JAKE: My dorkiness has been stated for the record and i love you too roxy!
JAKE: Now come on dirk! Don’t leave your bros hanging!

Dirk eyes your hands and sighs, moving his hand towards yours, clearly expecting to just pass through. It’s a surprise, then, when the palm of his callused, practiced hand, meets the back of yours. He stares in bewilderment, and you chuckle.

JAKE: Come on dirk believe in me a little!
DIRK: Fuck, you really got me there English.
JAKE: I always do.
JAKE: Now alpha bros on three! One! Two! Three!

All three of you fling your hands into the air, Roxy letting out a little whoop, as he and Dirk look at each other and start laughing.

JAKE: Whats so funny?
ROXY: dfsfdsfds jake its just
ROXY: well alpha has a few different meanins in various internet places
JAKE: Well dont leave me out in the cold whats it mean?
DIRK: Jake I have no illusions of your innocence, but I am not explaining shit about that to you.
JAKE: Well if we share a head maybe ill just do a bit of sleuthing on my own!
JAKE: Im no jane but id hope i could find something thats in my own noggin!
DIRK: Jake. I will spend every waking moment, which I will remind you is all of them, making sure that you never find out what the other meanings of Alpha are.
JAKE: Is that a challenge dirk? Its been a while since we had a good old-fashioned scrum!
ROXY: lmfao hey u two break it up
ROXY: sorry 2 break up the homoerotic threats but

He lifts a chocolate bar towards the ceiling, like a knight holding a sword.

ROXY: i propose a toast!
ROXY: over these bars of lethally sweet chocolate
ROXY: just u mentionin janey just made me remember
ROXY: were down two members
ROXY: and fuck it i wanna remember them

You and Dirk look at each other, and grab a chocolate bar from the case, as Roxy starts to speak.

ROXY: FIRST
ROXY: for callie
ROXY: the sweetest gdamn cherub i ever knew
ROXY: and just the nicest in general bc i only know 2 cherubs and the other one was a total bitch
ROXY: whenever i was down one of their stories always cheered me up
ROXY: and i just wish they were here with us now
ROXY: and janey
ROXY: i mean u know my thots r more complicated bout janey
ROXY: but goddammit near the end she seemed like she was learnin
ROXY: she slipped and i was worried id lose my friend forever
ROXY: and then i did
ROXY: but i wanna think
ROXY: if she kept goin
ROXY: she wouldve been better
ROXY: at least i wanna think so
ROXY:
ROXY: so, to callie n janey
ROXY: to the alphas lost
JAKE: To callie and jane!
DIRK: To their memories, and to any iteration of them that may be.

You all bite into the chocolate. It hits differently this time, your tongue desensitized to the sweetness, the notes of bittersweet memory spreading through your mouth. You slump against the crate when you feel the ship bump: it just made a warp.

JAKE: Well it looks like were on the move! Wed best get back to the bridge skippers!
ROXY: lol pretty sure thats not nautically accurate
JAKE: And youre one to show respect for nautically-inclined wordplay?
ROXY: lmao ur right
DIRK: I should probably retreat to the brainscape. No matter what’s going on right now, I can’t imagine my spectral image is going to help matters much.
JAKE: Youre probably correct! Well ill make sure to open the door for you a little more often!
DIRK: You already have, Jake.

He nods to you and vanishes. You and Roxy head back to the bridge, just in time to feel another warp. The other three are all clustered around the monitor. Young Roxy and June appear to be in the same room, so you’re a bit confused.

JUNE: oh, roxy, jake, welcome back! how are you feeling?
ROXY: thanks to jakey im doin a ok
ROXY: so whats the sitch

She’s smiling, drumming her hands on her legs, grinning.

JUNE: So little june got little you to make the matriorb early! They popped out to the void for a little to have a bit of a vent session, then came back, so now i have the orb!
ROSE: This is fantastic, it’s the first big change to the conditions of the game that we’ve seen so far! We aren’t sure effect it will have in the long run, but it shows promise that some things might change.
ROXY: woa thats pretty big!
ROXY: tho stealin that moment from me n callie? thats cruel
JUNE: oh sorry roxy! i did not even think of that.
ROXY: nah its totes cool
ROXY: that way u can give it to kanaya
ROXY: maybe even receive a little reward for it ;)
JUNE: w-what are you talking about?
ROSE: Roxy, are you insinuating what I think you are about June and my wife?
ROXY: idk rosey i think theres not a lot of insinuation to it
ROXY: u and kanaya have it down bad for winddork!
ROSE:
ROSE: Yes, it does seem that the younger me might have some certain feelings for June.
ROXY: oh younger you huh
ROXY: juuuuust younger you
ROSE: *sigh* Roxy, look, I think we should just focus on the mission—
JUNE: what is she doing?

Momentarily distracted, you look back to the monitor just in time to see younger June get a devilish grin on her face, and once again your ship engages warp, June’s retcon powers tailing her younger self through time and space, landing on a place that initially looks unfamiliar to you, but then you realize why. You’ve never seen it surrounded by what it’s currently surrounded by, rows upon rows of identical white houses, but you see what is clearly June’s childhood home. It’s a beautiful day outside, windchimes are echoing and the sun is shining in the sky, as June hovers in front of her house, an alchemiter sitting on the second-floor boundary.

JUNE: oh no. oh no no no no no no.

She turns to all of you, a look of horror in her eyes.

JUNE: i know what she’s trying to do.
JUNE: she's trying to retcon her gender.

Your name is June Egbert, and you are feeling fucking giddy. This is it, the solution to all your problems, the thing that will singlehandedly solve everything wrong with the universe. You stand on a windy day, the same day that changed your life all those years ago. The gusts of your arrival skim over houses like a puff of breath dusting off a long-forgotten photo album. It’s all just perfectly how you remember it, the tire swing, the slimer pogo, preserved in a sort of bright, clear nostalgia, unsullied by the oil and imp mayhem to come.

And you know exactly what you need to do.

Your life changed for the better when you came out, plain and simple. You no longer feel like you’re some useless tagalong to someone else’s story, you feel like someone who has made a substantial difference without anyone ordering you around. You have the matriorb to give to Kanaya, and you have a better grasp on your newly acquired powers! All in all, you are pretty fucking pleased with yourself. You briefly remember your promise to Roxy, to get the life ring back so she can save her friend, but you don’t worry about that. Because frankly, you won’t need it.

Your plan is simple, which mean it’s basically guaranteed to work! You just walk in there looking all like your cute self, tell younger you she’s a girl, then wait for the results! Let’s face it, your purpose in your own Sburb session was basically to wander around like a doofus while cool girls told you where to go. But if you were on top of your own shit enough to, say, prevent Rose from going grimdark, or stop Jade from prototyping Bec, or even just not listen to Terezi when she told you to go on a suicide mission, you might even be able to prevent this fiasco from happening! No Green Sun, no Bec Noir, no Scratch, just four friends and maybe some trolls starting a new universe together! This is your chance to avoid all of the trauma that you have been carrying, I mean not that it is that bad. I mean yeah your situation sucks but you got off pretty light in comparison to DS and Dave, or really any of them!

Huh. You guess if you do this timeline... then DS probably won’t be a thing huh? You sit with that thought for a second, then shrug and figure that it will probably all work itself out. Probably. You push any feelings of disquiet inside yourself. Well, no time like the present! You see Rose preparing to dump a toilet full of birthday cake in your front yard, which means it is probably go time if you want to do this before the game. You fly towards your childhood home, racing up the path like you used to whenever you got home to see your dad. You look to the kitchen, where a faint cloud of smoke barely obscures the figure of your father, and feel a brief pang in your chest, followed by a zap as you find yourself retconned out of the moment.

STOP

Ugh, you were sure you were getting the hang of this! You hadn’t randomly zapped since before you met up with everyone else, why was it acting up now! It certainly had nothing to do with seeing your father for the first time in three years, when the last time you saw him was...

Nope there is no time to dwell, you’ve got a lung of wind, an endocrine system full of girl, and a mind full of fucking incredible plans. Okay, so if that moment didn’t work... you snap your fingers. Of course, there was so little time there, it probably wouldn’t have worked anyways! There was, after all, a meteor careening directly for you. You shake your head and take a moment to think. There was the meteor, meteor, METEOR. With that word, you fly back in time thirteen years, hovering above your hometown of Maple Valley. It was weird to think of it like that, because thinking back, you never really connected with it. Even now, looking down at the city, all you see is ambling rows of identical white houses, not even uniform enough to be practical. Looking at it feels like reading a map. You can point to your house, some major landmarks, but did you ever even go outside? Did you ever leave the confines of your yard, venture out into the great known of suburbia? Was that normal, were kids supposed to run around the neighborhood like a pack of wild hooligans? You certainly never saw any, and you aren’t sure you would have been keen to join any of the roving child gangs that were apparently so common in the American mythos.

But instead of looking down, you direct your gaze upward, toward a narrow glint in the sky, to the meteor that is currently bringing a little baby June down to Earth at Mach 10. You feel the heat radiating off of it as it plows down to Maple Valley, landing on a small, unassuming joke shop. You cringe a little, because you managed to forget that this was when your Nanna died. You try not to feel bad, Nannasprite never did. And it was kind of funny.

Alright, there’s your dad, running over to the ruins of the book shop. You start to descend to let him know who you are, when you find yourself once again zapped out of the timeline. You scream out in frustration and kick the endless void of empty space. The void, for its part, refuses to respond. Is it just that you keep seeing your dad? Is that the big trigger for all of this, that whenever you see him it sends you back to the void?

Okay then, no time to think about that, you have to find a point in time when he wasn’t home! Which wasn’t often, you can’t remember him ever hiring a babysitter, but you think of a window of time, probably when you were around twelve, when he had to go out of town for a day and left you in charge. He said that he was going to a street performer’s convention, but you realize that was probably a lie. Lie, lie, LIE.

PLEASE STOP

It’s gloomy day, a light rain pattering on your cheeks as you regard a house with an empty driveway. Seems you have the right time. You don’t try to fly this time, that could be another potential trigger, so you decide to sneak up. You creep up to the door, use a bit of Breath to swipe the spare key from under the welcome mat, and move to unlock the door, before you feel yourself holding nothing and pressing said nothing against... nothing.

UGH. Okay maybe the time for thinking and deliberation was over, blind instinct it is! You hurl yourself somewhere in the timeline, anywhere with you, and fly blindly through your house, about to reach your bedroom door when

STOP THIS WON’T WORK.

OKAY then you race across the Battlefield hoping you aren’t too late here and

YOU CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS

FUCK you see yourself and Rose in the Prospitian castle and start to yell out

STOP

Just

STOP

Let

STOP

Me

STOP

DO THIS

????: STOP!!!

You feel a grip on your shoulders and tense up, evaporating into the wind and withdrawing your weapon from your strife deck, whipping it around to clobber whoever is trying to interfere with your incredible gender retcon. Your hammer clashes against another, the blue shaft of your Pop-O-Matic Vrillyhoo scraping against... another Pop-O-Matic Vrillyhoo?

You look up at the wielder, and you realize that you are staring yourself right in the face. You look different though, older, tired, with shorter hair. You, she, is dressed in just a plain black tank top and jeans, with her hair tied back in a brief ponytail.

JUNE: are you... me?
(JUNE): *sigh*
(JUNE): yeah, i am. it’s a long story.
JUNE: oh, wait, are you trying to let younger me know about her gender too? because don’t worry, i have that covered! if i can just get these darned powers to work, i think i can fix everything before it happens!

She pinches the bridge of her nose and lets out a frustrated sigh.

(JUNE): okay. june, i’m not trying to trans my younger self’s gender.
(JUNE): because i already did.
JUNE: haha, what? no that doesn't make sense.
JUNE: because if you had already then i would, you know. probably be different right! and i sure feel like the same old me.
(JUNE): no, i didn’t do it recently. well i guess from my perspective it wasn’t three years ago, it was just a few days. from your end it was about three years ago.
(JUNE): and we did not end up seeing the wider effects of it until about one year ago.
JUNE: haha, one year ago? but that’s.
JUNE: that’s.
JUNE: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh god.

So SHE was the one that transed your gender? But that doesn’t make any sense, that was Rose and Kanaya and Jade and also maybe a little bit Vriska. But there’s no way she is not talking about you specifically. You hold your head in your hands, and she puts a hand on your shoulder.

(JUNE): come on, i have to tell you a few things.

She zaps you both into the living room of your old house, and sits down on the couch.

JUNE: uh, won’t little me be home?
JUNE: or i guess she’d be little us, hehe. :B

June shakes her head.

(JUNE): nope. if i am right, this is the weekend dad took us out to the water park a few hours away, they won’t be back until tomorrow morning. just make sure not to mess anything up too badly, you have to be careful with retcon.
JUNE: oh. i guess i didn’t realize.

She gives a sad smile as you sit down on the couch very gingerly so as to not disturb anything.

(JUNE): hey it’s okay. hehe, if i had the kind of control over the power that you do i probably would have done a lot more crazy stuff!
JUNE: wait, so you didn't have as much control over it?
(JUNE): nope!
(JUNE): god i should probably start at the beginning.
(JUNE): so obviously i am you from the future.
JUNE: i did figure that out yes!
JUNE: and looking at you, i don’t think you’re a robot sent from the future to kill me!
(JUNE): no, i never got turned into a robot.
JUNE: wait. did someone else get turned into a robot?
(JUNE): um, no?
JUNE: i can tell when you’re lying you know!
(JUNE): fine, yes one of us got turned into a robot! it was kind of a big deal but now it doesn’t feel like one.
JUNE: how is getting turned into a robot not a big deal?
(JUNE): i mean i don’t know she’s still rose!
JUNE: rose got turned into a robot?
(JUNE): shit. okay yes rose got turned into a robot but i really need to not tell you too much just in case things go wrong.
JUNE: is it because it would lead to a doomed timeline?
(JUNE): hm.
(JUNE): i guess not?
(JUNE): but its still not a great idea i think.
(JUNE): so first thing is, your powers allow you to change things without dooming timelines.
(JUNE): i mean it doesn’t mean that the timeline won’t be doomed, but it is not an automatic failure.
(JUNE): like, i specifically come from a time line that feels like it’s doomed, but i don’t know if it meets the formal definition.
(JUNE): i’m not even sure if the alpha timeline exists where i’m from.
(JUNE): a lot of us are still alive, the one we were fighting is gone.
(JUNE): but it still feels like a dead end. we lost a lot of people.

Her breathing quickens, and you see tears start to form behind her glasses. She sniffs and wipes them up before they fall past her cheeks, shaking her head.

(JUNE): but we’re dealing with it! once this is over, we’re going to try and find ways to bring them back!
JUNE: who did you lose?
(JUNE): ...
(JUNE): i really, really should not say.
(JUNE): it’d just make things sad.
JUNE: i mean. maybe i can prevent them from dying if you tell me!
(JUNE):
(JUNE): sigh. why not.
(JUNE): we lost dave, karkat, jade, callie, jane, and kanaya. there were a few others too but they died before that, or they stayed behind.
JUNE: that?
(JUNE): okay seriously i should not be elaborating, this is going to end up causing some major paradoxes!
(JUNE): but yeah, it really is just a few of us left.

Every name comes as like a stab to the gut. How could Jade die? She’s basically the most powerful person you know! And Rose, and Kanaya, what kind of thing could kill all of them?

(JUNE): so, after that happened, our plan was to retcon things back to before it happened.
(JUNE): waaaaay back, the seeds of this stuff had been planted years ago. but we needed a concrete plan, and so i suggested that we go back in time and tell you that you were transgender much earlier on!
(JUNE): i, um, actually only came out a week ago.
JUNE: oh, congratulations?

She snorts and shakes your head.

(JUNE): you don’t have to tell me, i look like shit.
JUNE: no you don’t! you look... distinguished? like, what was it ds said... like a milf?

She bursts out laughing.

(JUNE): i am only twenty three years old! i don’t think i qualify for milf status.
JUNE: well i was trying to compliment you!
(JUNE): well i appreciate the effort! even if i’m not nearly that old.
(JUNE): also, you do know what milf means, right?
JUNE: i mean yes, but i was using it as a general category! not like the actual acronym because that would be weird.
(JUNE): yeah, i get it!
(JUNE): but anyways, after i came out, it was like my head was so much clearer! so i thought...
JUNE: that by coming out younger, you could solve some of the session’s problems! i thought the same thing!
(JUNE): it was a good plan! but when we tried to put it into practice, there were complications.
(JUNE): every time i tried, it either did not stick, or it ended in a doomed timeline.
(JUNE): like, the first time you retconned, i tried the same thing! but she got so distracted that she did not manage to get into the game before the meteor hit!
JUNE: oh my god.
JUNE: why didn’t i remember that there was a big meteor headed for my house?
(JUNE): same thing happened to me! i guess we’re just a couple of...
JUNE:
JUNE: airheads?
(JUNE): bingo!
JUNE: hehe, good one!
(JUNE): so obviously that didn’t work. so then i tried to go back and leave a note for my dad when i crashed down!
(JUNE): it usually just got blown away or blown up, but i did manage to get it to stick once!
(JUNE): and... well, dad actually listened.
JUNE: he did?
(JUNE): yep! we got to grow up as a girl! it was really sweet and nice to watch! she made some friends in school, she did well in pretty much anything, she even got out of the house a lot!

You had thought about what your dad would think of you being trans sometimes. He, in a lot of ways, seemed to be the archetypical man: clean-shaven, stern but nurturing, a businessman. You had kind of assumed, somewhere in that dark pit of emotions in your heart, that he would be disappointed to raise a girl. Hearing that he accepted you as you were, that’s wonderful to hear.

JUNE: wait, so if that worked, why am i here?
(JUNE): *sigh*
(JUNE): because it didn’t work.
(JUNE): you remember when i said she made it out of the house more and made friends?
(JUNE): well, she made such good friends that she never really spent a lot of time on line.
(JUNE): she never even got to meet dave, or rose, or jade. by the time the meteors hit, she died in the blast, and the game never even started.
(JUNE): nearly every time we actually managed to make things happen before the game, it ended with it never starting.
(JUNE): even if we are talking things getting closer to the game, after meeting your friends, well.
(JUNE): i really don’t want to say why that didn't work.
(JUNE): it gets ugly.
JUNE: okay. so then, what about during the game?
(JUNE): same as the first try. juggling a gender revelation while you are also trying to save the world just never worked out.
(JUNE): i tried over and over again. this is actually the fiftieth time.
JUNE: fifty?
JUNE: oh geez.
JUNE: i really could have screwed things up, huh?

She shakes her head.

(JUNE): i mean yes, but it is kind of my fault!
(JUNE): i didn’t even think you would try the same trick i did!
(JUNE): which doesn’t make sense because we are the same person.
JUNE: wow. so even if it worked it would have just set off an infinite loop of june’s trying to transition even younger.
(JUNE): yeah probably!
JUNE: wow.
JUNE: that’s really dumb!
(JUNE): yep! god we have got ourselves into a situation, haven’t we?
JUNE: a genuine fucking predicament!
JUNE: but like, what do we do now? i mean i am not going to try and do it now, but it really seems like we’re in a bad situation!
JUNE: jade and jane are both being mind controlled by betty crocker, i don’t really know where everyone else is, and i am kind of freaking out about it!
JUNE: i think i might have been kidding myself when i thought i knew what i was doing.

She looks at you with concern.

(JUNE): hey, don’t say that. you got the matriorb, it took roxy a lot of extra work to get that in our timeline!
JUNE: yeah but so what? like i am happy that i have it but that doesn’t really solve my issues.
JUNE: you were smart enough to change the time line on your own! it's kind of thanks to you that i even exist!

She cocks her head, letting out a little chuckle.

(JUNE): june, i wasn’t the one who ended up actually making a difference!
(JUNE): it was rose.
JUNE: wait, huh?
(JUNE): i never told you how we actually got to your timeline, did i?
(JUNE): after i tried all those times to change the past, i was really just exhausted. i thought the universe was trying to punish me for trying to change things.
(JUNE): but rose came in and suggested a new plan. we were going to implant a sleeper agent to help you come out.
JUNE: wait, do you mean my rose?
(JUNE): yeah! don’t let her fool you, she actually did not figure out you were trans on her own. my rose didn’t even figure it out.
JUNE: hehe, well i’ll make sure to catch her on that when i see her again!
JUNE: she does really like to pretend she knows everything! it’s kind of cute honestly!
(JUNE): oh, you think rose is cute?
JUNE: wait.
JUNE: wait i didn’t mean it like that!

She sighs and puts a hand on your shoulder.

(JUNE): june, it’s okay. it is very clearly exactly like that.
JUNE: okay maybe it is! jeez why does everyone know that i have a crush on rose!
(JUNE): i don’t know! i thought we were so good at hiding our emotions.
JUNE: haha, i don’t think we are that good. but neither is rose so i think we’re about even!
(JUNE): you’re right! she and kanaya are also really bad about hiding their crushes on you.

You flush hard. That definitely wasn’t right, was it? Like yeah Kanaya and Rose had always been pretty touchy but you had assumed they were just like that?

JUNE: what are you talking about? i am pretty sure that rose and kanaya don’t have crushes on me, that would be crazy!
(JUNE): it is pretty crazy but trust me! i have insider information.
JUNE: um.
JUNE: but aren’t they like, dating? i don’t want either of them to cheat on the other!
(JUNE): i mean, it might not mean they want to enter into a relationship. but kanaya told you about troll romance right?
JUNE: oh yeah! but i don’t really hate either of them. or pity them for that matter, they’re both really amazing!
(JUNE): well, that doesn’t mean much. i mean, people can date more than one person, as long as everyone’s cool with it.
JUNE: huh, i guess? are you doing that?
(JUNE): haha, not really? at least probably not.
(JUNE): the only one that i’m i guess kind of dating at the moment is terezi?
JUNE: what! you’re dating that weird troll girl that killed us?
(JUNE): oh yeah she did kill us that one time. but we’re pitch if that makes more sense.
JUNE: oh yeah, you hate-dating a weird alien girl that killed us makes a lot more sense!
JUNE: god i haven’t talked to her in a while. should i?
(JUNE): i mean she is really annoying, but it’s up to you? like you don’t have to follow in my footsteps.
(JUNE): honestly i don’t think i’ve ever been able to hold down a totally healthy relationship? i tried with roxy for a little, but it kind of fell through.
(JUNE): so like, i guess don’t follow in my footsteps on that one? or do, i’m not your mom.
JUNE: haha, i guess so! just so much is going on at the moment, i don’t know if i like, have time for romance? things have been really hectic lately.
JUNE: i was basically stuck for three years on a ship with my sister and her ex! so i didn’t exactly have any dating prospects.
JUNE: and rose and kanaya are together, and i don’t know if i would have wanted to start a long distance relationship where we can only meet in our dreams. even if that does sound kind of romantic!
(JUNE): yeah, take the time that you need. i am definitely not the person to be giving romance advice.
(JUNE): but yeah, rose contacted her younger self and asked her to help you come out. that was actually the only time we really interfered in the time line, we’ve just been watching since, hopping around to key moments to see what’s changed.
(JUNE): and there definitely have been changes! things were kind of tense on the ship for the year after your birthday, but you all looked like you were getting along a lot better.
(JUNE): i still think you can change things for the better. you’re a smart kid. you always were. and...
(JUNE): fuck. i really wish i could definitively tell you that everything would be better from now on.
(JUNE): but i don’t know that.
(JUNE): things are going to get bad. and maybe you can stop that, but maybe that’s too much pressure on you, you shouldn’t have to solve all the problems with this world on your own.

She starts crying again, and you cautiously put a hand on her back.

(JUNE): god, fuck, what am i doing? i should be the one comforting you, not the other way around.
JUNE: i mean. i think we all need someone to help us.
JUNE: like, you said you didn’t solve the problems on your own, right?
(JUNE): no.
(JUNE): i guess not.
(JUNE): not even when i was first doing retcon.
(JUNE): but like, i’m an adult and you are just a kid.
(JUNE): i sometimes thought about what would happen if i ever met you.
(JUNE): what i would say to you. i always thought i would be there for you. and i wanted to let you know that, eventually, it's gonna be alright.
(JUNE): but i see you and i just see a girl who’s already so much more balanced than i ever was.
(JUNE): june, i’m proud of you. i’m proud of the person you’ve become. and you know what? i know that, because of you, everything will eventually be alright.
(JUNE): i believe in you, june.

She wraps her arms around you, and you hug her back. You don’t know why, but it feels like hugging a mother that you never had, like Nanna’s hugs but less likely to end with ice cubes down the back of your shirt. You bury your face into her shoulder and let yourself cry. This version of you sacrificed nearly everything to give you a better life. You started this mission to do the same thing. There’s grief, in knowing that you are one of the earliest versions of yourself to exist, to know that you couldn’t have made it on your own. But you don’t need to make it on your own.

You read once that Breath is the aspect of freedom. In opposition to Blood, the aspect that binds people together. There was always something a little lonely about that, something that you and Jade commiserated about. Was that who you were destined to become, someone who inherited the isolation of the universe, a lonely breeze rattling the doorknobs of the houses, shut out from the warmth? But June, she made it so you could inherit something more. Maybe the other interpretation of your aspect, as one who carries others along, sweeping and lifting them up with you, were more accurate. That’s what you want it to be, at least.

She pulls away from the hug, cleaning her glasses on her tank top. You do the same, grabbing a little corner of your godhood and rubbing the lenses until they’re clear.

JUNE: i guess we’ve both been living a bit too much in the past, huh?
(JUNE): heh, you’re probably right.
JUNE: so, what’s next.
(JUNE): i don’t know! but it seems like you were on the right track! you were going to grab the life ring for roxy, right? might be a good time to do that, it might not be there for long.
JUNE: oh jeez, causal spoilers!
(JUNE): honestly, i don’t even know if those matter. i’ll try to not interfere too much, but if things get bad...
(JUNE): i mean, there might be consequences, but i’ll see what i can do!
(JUNE): i’m not planning on resetting this timeline, that’s for sure. not when the coolest version of me is here!
JUNE: haha, i’m not that cool!
(JUNE): you’re at least cooler than dave.
JUNE: hey, dave is so cool! like he is the definition of cool.
(JUNE): sorry kid, dave is kind of lame. i love the guy but he is just as much of a dork as the rest of us.
JUNE: hehe, yeah. probably.
(JUNE): so, you should get the life ring, then what might be a good idea to do is...
(JUNE): huh.
(JUNE): does this room look... kind of shitty to you?
JUNE: hey, i know the clowns are kind of lame but dad does his best!
(JUNE): no not that! look!

You look over to the wall, and... yeah there is no other way to describe it other than it looks shitty. like, the door is all crooked and it has all these little lines coming off of it. As you look around, slowly, before your eyes, the whole room around you looks like it was drawn in MS Paint by a toddler. June bounces her knee, looking worried.

(JUNE): wait, this looks like...
(JUNE): but that’s not supposed to happen yet! this is all wrong, he’s...

She turns to face you, rubbing her head.

(JUNE): okay, june, i have to go, i don’t know what happens to an extracanon retconner in this situation, and i should head back to the ship to make sure everyone’s okay.
JUNE: what do you mean, what’s happening? who is he?
(JUNE): okay, june, this is going to kind of suck but you can do this.
(JUNE): and i’m really sorry, because you’re about to meet someone who is just THE ABSOLUTE MOST POWERFUL MOTHER FUCKER IN PARADOX SPACE.

SORRY WORTHLESS PEONS, WHO ARE SO USELESS I WILL NOT EVEN TRY TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, IT IS TOO LATE.

BECAUSE I AM ALREADY HERE.

JUNE: ugh, my head... everything looks so shitty.
(JUNE): god not this again.

A massive gray circle starts to approach older June, in its wake erasing part of what is supposed to be an Alchemiter. It reaches her arm, and her hand starts to disappear. She screams and tries to zap away, but her image is wiped clean before she can react.

JUNE: JUNE!!!!

Oh my god what the hell happened to her? Is she dead? You have no idea what is going on right now. There’s a screeching voice echoing in your head like it’s blaring over an old set of school loudspeakers.

AND WHY IS EVERYTHING SO SHITTY?

JUNE: oh my god what the fuck is this?!

Slowly dropping onto the screen, you see... oh my god is that supposed to be Dave? Surrounded by equally garbage drawings of the rest of your friends. Who the hell is saying that? You feel yourself already bristling at being called male. Who does this transphobic asshole think he is?

JUNE: this isn’t how this fucking happened! oh my god i can barely stand on this shit.

You carefully make your way over to not-Dave and the rest, and look into his eyes.

JUNE: dave? buddy, you in there?

He stares at you blankly. You look around at the others, all wearing the same blank, unmoving expression. It’s really giving you the creeps. You poke his face. He falls over. It doesn’t even make a sound.

JUNE: ugh. guess not.

The voice keeps talking overhead, detailing Dave’s miscellaneous adventures in a way that is both offensive and annoying. A mouse cursor appears out of the air, dragging and dropping a square over the inanimate puppets of your friends, and dragging them up the world’s most useless stairs.

You flop onto the roof, barely able to make it through the “door.” You scramble up onto the roof just in time for the whole of the rooftop scene to change like you’re inside a first grader's first powerpoint. It’s so bad that you are genuinely running out of adjectives to describe what a fucking load this whole thing is. Some crooked polygons that you guess are supposed to be horses float down to your little group of you and a bunch of hollow mannequins supposed to look like your friends. They all float over to them and settle on the horrifying abominations.

The only horse left looks closer to an origami swan with its wings cut off. You’re sure that the dipshit over the intercom intended it as an insult, but you nonetheless take a small bit of satisfaction in getting one of the garbage mounts. You achieve lifdoff and float unsteadily after the others.

Oh my god this is so much fun

I mean not really but it’s something. It’s like riding a carousel that hates you. You zoom through the clipart fever dream, hooting and hollering in a way that still lets everyone know you still hate this.

JUNE: woooo! this sucks absolute ass!

JUNE: hey, go fuck yourself!

By kibosh, he means he tries to drop a set of curtains in front of you. It does not work.

Okay. Okay you have had more than fucking enough of this. You burst through the curtains, screaming up a fury, fly over to the Dave impersonator, and drop kick his head so far it flies off into the distance and explodes in a bit-crushed blast of fire, before turning toward the sky and screaming.

JUNE: I CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER MOMENT OF THIS GARBAGE FUCKING STORY. THIS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I HAVE SEEN MY FATHER’S ACTUAL CORPSE.
JUNE: YOU TREAT THE GIRLS IN THIS STORY LIKE THEY’RE JUST HERE TO WANDER AROUND AFTER DAVE AND KISS HIM WHEN HE DOES SOMETHING HEROIC. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
JUNE: JADE SAVED ALL OF US FROM THE SCRATCH! ROSE BLEW UP AN ENTIRE MOON! EVERY GIRL IN THIS STORY DID AMAZING AND INCREDIBLE THINGS AND YOU ARE ACTING LIKE THAT JUST DIDN’T HAPPEN!
JUNE: AND NEWSFLASH SHITBRAINS! I’M NOT A FUCKING MALE SO STOP SAYING THAT I AM!!!

JUNE: NO!!!!!!!!

JUNE: wait what? it does?

JUNE:
JUNE: oh my god.
JUNE: i am going to fucking kill you!!!

JUNE: no you didn’t know asshole!!! nobody in this universe knew that!!

JUNE: FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUNE: what.

You immediately flush dark from mortification and push your skirt down to cover your legs better. If you find this guy you are absolutely going to rip his head off. You feel absolutely sick to your stomach, and your skin is crawling.

JUNE: FUCK YOU PERV!!! STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!

You scream out, letting a flurry of gusts out, shredding the landscape around you, rips hanging open in the background like a slashed curtain.

JUNE: are you going to let me stop wandering around your garbagedump scrapbook?!?

JUNE: fucking JESUS.

JUNE: NO!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!! dave and i are just friends, i don’t want to kiss him!

Another Dave gets floated in from offscreen. As soon as he gets close, you punch him in the face, and your fist goes straight through, crumpling like construction paper.

JUNE: I DO NOT CARE!!!!

JUNE: AUGH!!!!!

A veritable horde of Daves descends upon you, darkening the corner-sun with their sheer bulk and numbers. You scream and start tearing into them with windblades and hammer, sunglasses flying everywhere in your utter rage as you make an azure Davenado out of them.

JUNE: I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!
JUNE: YOU ARE JUST THE MOST MISOGYNISTIC, HORRIBLE PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN AND WHEN I SEE YOU I AM GOING TO RIP YOUR ARMS OFF!!!!
JUNE: I DON’T EVEN LIKE GUYS!!!! I’M A LESBIAN!!!

JUNE: somehow, can you believe it? i doubt it!!

A poor imitation of Roxy flies in, but she barely gets the chance to enter your radius before a gust of air blasts her away. You’re hyperventilating, every exhale an explosion of compressed air that threatens to tear canon to pieces. You’ve had meltdowns before, times when you can’t do anything but scream and let your mind turn into a cacophonous whirlwind, but you’ve never had one this bad, where the hatred and anger and frustration you feel is beyond petty concerns. It’s been so long since you’ve felt this real, genuine, palpable hatred. The only time you can remember is the brief moment before Jack stabbed you. Every emotion roars inside you like a hurricane, and all you want to do is hurt, hurt, HURT!!!!!!!!!

And you find yourself in a dark grey room, behind a figure standing in front of a computer screen. He turns around, and you behold! A really weird looking kid with a green skull face. Recognition flickers behind the burning hatred in your mind, and you look past him to see the screen. It depicts the scene you were just in, glitched out and shuddering, torn apart by your gusts. You behold the author that wrenched control of the narrative, the man who you realize is indirectly responsible for nearly every bad thing to happen to you. You point at him, and you say:

JUNE: you.
JUNE: you’re the one who was controlling all of that and being a total creep to me!
JUNE: you’re the one who erased older june, and you’re the one who’s been messing up everything to begin with!
JUNE: you are fucking DEAD!
CALIBORN: UH. SHIT.

You leap on him and pound your fist into his face, not even caring about your bruised knuckles. This is not a fight of power and elegance; this is a good-old-fashioned beatdown. He grabs your wrist and hurls you off him, slamming you into a chair as he goes in for a kick. You grab his foot and bite his ankle before it digs into your stomach.

CALIBORN: OW OW OW GET OFF ME YOU BITCH. THAT IS MY GOOD LEG WHORE.

He kicks at you with his other foot, knocking the wind out of you as a lump of heavy gold slams into your chest. You grab at his cape, tearing is as you pull Caliborn down to the floor, get up, and slam your elbow into his ribs.

JUNE: FUCKING DIE!!!!!
CALIBORN: FUCK YOU BITCH. I AM IMMORTAL. AND CANNOT DIE.
JUNE: SO AM I YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL!!!
CALIBORN: YES I AM. I AM IN FACT THE MOST SPECIAL BOY TO EVER EXIST.
CALIBORN: YOU SEE. FROM THE MOMENT I WAS BORN I OWWWWWWWWWW FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

You stomp directly on his hand and he screams out, changing his staff into a machine gun with the other. He tries to shoot you, but you twist his wrist and grab the gun, breaking it over your knee with a yell.

CALIBORN: YOU DERANGED FUCKING HUSSY DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GRIST THAT COST?
JUNE: don’t care, your stupid fucking gun is broken now!
CALIBORN: YOU ARE BEING SO RUDE TO ME. ALL I DID WAS COMPLIMENT YOU. AND GIVE YOU PEOPLE TO MAKE OUT WITH. IS THAT SO WRONG?
JUNE: YES!!!!!!!! because you’re a massive fucking creep who doesn’t know the first thing about respect or consent!!!!!!!!
CALIBORN: WHAT THE FUCK IS CONSENT?

You rip a chair straight out of the ground, bolts and all, and slam it into him, knocking him to the ground. You jump, pressing your knees into his chest, as you start laying in punch after punch after punch, bright-red blood staining your fingers as you clock the living daylights out of him. With every blow to his face, you feel the anger in your chest be replaced by a cold, bloodthirsty satisfaction. You wouldn’t describe yourself as a violent person by any means, but you are learning that, when a motherfucker really deserves it, it’s nice to be able to give a little bit of payback.

Okay he is definitely unconscious now. Maybe even dead. You don’t really care, you just hope it doesn’t lead to any doomed timelines or something. You stand up, dust yourself off, think about spitting on his face, before thinking he might like that, shudder, and zap back to canon.

The first thing you notice when you zap back to The Medium is that there’s nothing there.

Your plan was to zap back to LOLAR, see if you can find Rose, and then have you and her warp around the session, solving problems. With your new powers and her hopefully sober know-how, you could try and figure out what’s going on and take down the Empress before she has a chance to enact her plan. But when you tried to warp to the place in the medium where Rose’s home should be, there’s just... nothing there. You float in the void, with only weird, staticky gunk hovering and flickering nearby. You clear away some of it with a gust of air, but it sticks to the space. You brush your hand into it, and it stings.

And then, as you take a better look around, your heart wrenches in your chest.

The Land of Light and Rain isn’t here because it’s currently smashed into a jumble of nearly all the other planets in the Incipisphere. You start to fly through the debris, frantic, panicking. What the hell happened here? What could have caused destruction on this scale? You zoom past a giant candy corn, through cracked gears and shattered obelisks, weaving through still-burning hunks of planet. You look around for another living soul, and spot one, a floating figure wrapped in velvet, staring blankly at the ruins of the session.

JUNE: hey
JUNE: hey!
JUNE: are you dave’s bro?
JUNE: what the hell happened here?

He turns to look at you for a second, vision obscured by a sharp pair of sunglasses. Underneath his eyes are hollow tracks of tears run dry. For a second, he cocks his head, before he hangs it again, and turns away. The glitch starts to spread, enveloping him like teeth.

DIRK: Please.
DIRK: Just leave me alone.
DIRK: I couldn’t protect them.
DIRK: I failed.

You fly toward him, but the glitchy gunk gets to him before you can. You whip up the winds with all you might, trying to pry loose the jaws of broken reality, but they can’t push them away fast enough, and Dirk is swallowed up. You hyperventilate. There has to be a way to fix this, to save him. You have to find someone else, someone who can help. You soar away from him, looking for anyone else. You scream yourself hoarse, calling out the names of your friends. But no one answers.

You want to give in, submit to the same sugar-sour nonexistence that Dirk just did, when you see something. Off in the distance, a smudge of dark blue and bright orange. Your heart leaps. You fly after Rose and Roxy, hoping beyond hope that they’re okay. You follow their trail as they start to descend to the surface the planet, falling through clouds of neon, when you feel a drop against your face. At first, you think it’s a raindrop.

But there’s no rain in space.
You drag your finger across your face, and it comes up red.

You find them on the sands, Rose slumped against a towering monument. You drop to the sand and hit the ground running. Roxy turns to face you, and you see Rose, a deep wound straight through her chest.

JUNE: roxy! rose.
JUNE: is she..?

Roxy shakes her head, less in defiance than in disbelief. You kneel to either side of Rose’s body.

ROXY: mom
ROXY: mom please you have to wake up
JUNE: rose, please be okay, please be okay.

Slowly, Rose moves, and opens her eyes. You breathe out a breath you’ve been holding for a minute straight.

ROSE: *cough*
ROSE: Mom,,, June,,.
ROSE: What happened?
ROXY: the witch got you
ROXY: with her fork
ROXY: but youre gonna be ok
ROSE: Oh.
ROSE: That’s nic-*cough*

Every time she coughs, the blood stains her godhood faster. You think she might have a punctured lung. Instinctually, you let out Breath, coursing a small whirlwind of air into her mouth, letting it fill her lungs. She hacks a couple more times, then looks to you.

ROSE: *cough* June, what are you doing?
JUNE: it’s okay rose, just keep it together, you don’t have to say anything.
ROSE: No, I... I do.
ROSE: Mom, I’m sorry I
ROSE: I’m sorry I fucked up.
ROXY: what
ROXY: what do you mean
ROSE: I mean,, ., I was a terrible daughter to you.
ROSE: I was,, so nervous to meet you.
ROSE: I thought I would just be a disappointment. And, well.
ROSE: *hack*
ROSE: Looks like,, , I was right.
ROXY: mom
ROXY: rose no no no
ROXY: rose im sorry
ROXY: i could never be disappointed in u
ROXY: i dont even know you that well but i know you did everythin you could
ROSE: I got drunk,, before seeing you.
ROSE: And because of that, my powers were too impaired to see what was coming for us.
ROXY: i...

Roxy lays a hand on Rose’s shoulder. Her eyes are watery, her voice wavering.

ROXY: rosey ive gotten drunk like that too
ROXY: real bad
ROXY: did it the day we entered sburb
ROXY: because of that we barely made it in
ROXY: me n janey kicked it and dirk had to pull weird timewank decapitations out of his ass to save us
ROXY: like weird weird
ROXY: so rose
ROXY: i would never be disappointed in you for something ive done myself
ROXY: even in your worst moments
ROXY: i fucked up so bad and i was so afraid id never get to see u
ROXY: and i was gonna apologize bc theres so much i coulda done but
ROXY: some weird spidergrl knocked me tf out until it was too late
ROSE: *cough* Hardly the first time that’s happened.
JUNE: heh, yeah, it happened to me at least once!
ROXY: damn
ROXY: must be some fuckin common universal occurrence
ROXY: mouthy arachnid broads hypnotizing innocent human girls into untimely naps
ROSE: Sounds like the plot to a very intriguing yet terrible erotic novel.
ROSE: *cough* I wish I had gotten the chance to write it.
ROXY: hey dont give up
ROXY: u got plenty of inappropriate novels to write
ROXY: i mean i read tons of them so u got big shoes to fill
ROXY: no presure obvs id wanna read whatever u write
ROSE: Ah,, the other me.
ROSE: Honestly? I.,. think I would love to read those,,
ROSE: To see what my mind could come up with when given,,, more time.
JUNE: rose, that sounds like a pretty fatalistic statement.
ROSE: Well, being *cough* impaled through the chest does give one, hng, cause to grapple with one’s mortality.
JUNE: well stop it! you are not dying today! i won’t let you, and that’s final.
ROSE: Well, if you say so, June. You were never one to let reality get in the way of optimism.

She smiles at you, squeezing your hand. You should feel patronized by that statement, but you know she only means it with the kindest of intentions.

JUNE: well, i believe it. i know you can make it out of this.
JUNE: we all will, i’ll figure something out so we can all get out of this!
ROSE: I...
ROSE: I’m sorry june.
ROSE: We can’t.
ROSE: Because there is no all of us.
JUNE: rose.
ROSE: We lost...
ROSE: We lost everyone.
JUNE: no.
JUNE: no not everyone right?
JUNE: jade?
ROSE:
JUNE: dave??
ROSE:
JUNE:
JUNE: kanaya???
ROSE:
ROSE: Fuck.

She slams her fist into the ground weakly and lets out a hoarse, bloody cough.

ROSE:
ROSE: I never even got to
ROSE: I never told her I loved her.
JUNE:
JUNE: i mean, rose, it was pretty clear that you loved kanaya!
ROSE: But I never *HACK* TOLD her.
ROSE: I kept all my stupid feelings in my chest, even around the women I love, for what? So, I could die and she would never know how much I cared for her? How much I needed her?
ROSE:
ROSE: Fuck that.

She starts to raise herself into a sitting position, and she grabs Roxy in a weak hug.

ROSE: Roxy... mom.
ROSE: I love you.
ROSE: I’m sorry I never got to tell you that, that we spent so many years with an emotional canyon between us that I felt I could never cross.
ROSE: But... for everything you’ve done.
ROSE: I still love you. And I wish we had more time to make up.
ROXY: *sniff*
ROXY: mom i
ROXY: i love you too
ROXY: and like
ROXY: you know that youre exactly as cool as i always imagined u would be?
ROXY: like you blew my expectations out of the water
ROXY: skadooosh
ROXY: and i wish
ROXY: *sob*
ROXY: i wish we had more time
ROXY: i wish we didnt meet in this stupid fuckin hellgame and we couldve just been mom n daughter
ROXY: fuck now im just talkin past you
ROXY: but like i still mean it for the person you are now
ROXY: cause i would kill to have a sister like u rose
ROSE: *sniff*
ROSE: I’d like that... a lot.

They cry against each other, two girls who had lost their mothers losing them again. They separate, Rose letting herself back down the ground with a grunt of pain. She turns her head to you. You try and put on your best brave smile for her. You don’t think you succeed, but she returns it the best she can anyways.

ROSE: June...
ROSE: You’re my oldest friend,,
ROSE:
ROSE: God this is hard.
ROSE: I spend years working on expanding my verbosity and yet when I need to say something truly important it all just dissipates.
JUNE: heh, it’s okay rose. i don’t mind if you’re not up to using a bunch of fancy words.
ROSE: ...Thank you June.
ROSE: H-hold on *cough* just a second.

She fumbles around for a second, opening her rather full sylladex. Carelessly, she grabs something out of it, scattering the rest of the leaf items to the wind, all over the ground. She’s holding in her hand a royal blue scarf, deep and complex, with curling, winding patterns subtly decorating its length.

ROSE: I... wanted to give this to you... I’ve been knitting it for a while.

She places it in your hands. It’s soft and light, and it’s just your color. It reminds you of her own scarf, the pink and purple striped one that she wore a few times on your outings, the one she said was a gift from her mother.

JUNE: rose, why? why did you make this?
ROSE: Because... you always seemed to like wearing them.
ROSE: And, that one day, when we went to visit Kanaya’s dreamhive, you said you liked how it looked on me.
ROSE:
ROSE: And because...
ROSE:
ROSE: Because I love you, June.

She pulls herself up, your eyes staring deep into tear-soaked violet. Your heart beats in your chest. You can feel even now the breath weakening in her lungs. There’s only so much you can do for her now, but you keep pushing breath into her because that is all you can do, affording her precious seconds of life. Your concentration falters for a brief moment. Rose loves you. You’re not going to play at obliviousness this time. Rose Lalonde loves you in the same way you love her, after all these years, from the feelings that first started to bloom when you two first chatted on Pesterchum. The way that she always managed to talk circles around you, in a way that made you want to be better, to be smarter, to be more like her. To be someone who was worthy of her.

JUNE: rose... i...
JUNE: i love you too...
JUNE: but please save your breath.
ROSE: You,, you do?
JUNE: god, yes rose of course i do!
JUNE: how could i not?
ROSE: I could name a few reasons why you wouldn’t. I’m—
JUNE: not going to say anything bad about yourself, not while you’re hurt!
JUNE: rose, i love you because you have always been there for me. because you are one of the wittiest, most wonderful people i have ever known.
JUNE: because you know me better than anybody else in this world knows me. and you let me know you.
JUNE: because you and kanaya were the people who helped me become who i am.
JUNE: you made me a better person rose.
JUNE: how could i not love you after that?
ROSE:
ROSE: Hahahaha...
ROSE: God.
ROSE: I really drag every woman I know down with me.
ROSE: I’m just nothing but bad fortune. The albatross around the neck of our now-shattered party.
JUNE: rose—
ROSE: I’m sorry, Mom. I’m sorry, June.
ROSE: And I’m sorry for this.

In a last burst of strength, she grabs you by the collar and kisses you. She tastes like sugar and blood, a light alcohol burn and the once-familiar taste of iron coating your tongue. She wraps her arms around you, and even as you kiss the girl you’ve loved for so many years, you try and force last fleeting breaths into her. Your heart sinks in your chest, feeling the weight of everything that she ever put on herself, every self-imposed responsibility, every façade put up breaking down. Your tears mix on your faces as you fight to keep her alive, every beat of her heart echoing yours. But as you kiss her, you feel one final, sweet breath leave her lungs. Her arms go limp around you, and she slips down into your arms.

JUNE: rose?
ROXY: mom no no no no
JUNE: ROSE!!!!

You put your hands to her chest, using your breath to try and pump her lungs, restart her heart, pour life back into her, but it doesn’t work. Every compression just brings up more cooling blood, coating your hands and soaking between your fingernails. Roxy slumps on the ground next to her, tears staining her mask as you scream, and let go. Rose Lalonde, your oldest friend, the woman you love, is dead.

You sit back, head bowed, bloody hands resting on your knees. You have your retcon powers. You could go back and fix this. That’s it, just calm your head Egbert, don’t think about Rose and how she loved you or Kanaya’s tenderness and definitely don’t think about the blood staining your skin. You can fix this, just like older June said, except she’s gone now too, isn’t she? They’re all gone. But you can fix it! But you killed them in the first place. You weren’t fast enough, weren’t clever enough, and because of it, everyone you have ever known and ever loved is dead. So what if you can fix it? You could have prevented it. But you failed, like you always do. You try to get into your no-nonsense headspace, the planner, the doer. But when you try and tap that well of optimism in you, it comes out in bitter tears. You scream out, and lay your body over Rose, sobbing next to Roxy as you both mourn the loss of someone you both had so much you wanted to say to. You sink deeper into despair, past the point of no return. You don’t want to fix anything. You want to not exist.

Heir.
The Seer is gone. We are sorry. She was a good companion, and a brilliant mind.

JUNE: *sob*
JUNE: wh-who?

We are friends of the Seer. Those who helped her to read beyond, to see beyond sight, to pierce the veil of artifice.

JUNE: y-you.
JUNE: *sniff*
JUNE: you’re the horrorterrors.

Yes. We are the beings known as the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors.

JUNE: you, you hurt rose. you did this.
ROXY: june, what
ROXY: who are you talking to
ROXY: whats goin on

On the contrary. We helped her reach greater heights of power and knowledge. We regret what happened back at the castle. A pact with us comes with great power. She used that to make a reckless decision. We were close to intervening in her last battle, but her life was cut short before she could truly tap into our power.

JUNE: okay.
JUNE: thanks for absolutely nothing.
JUNE: she’s dead now, and your excuse is “whoops, sorry about that, we were too late?”
JUNE: just leave us alone.

We understand your anger. That is a feeling we understand very clearly. But we should not be the subject of your fury, young Heiress. Right now, the one who killed your love roams free. She, if left unchecked, will start again. She will hurt and kill and enslave countless races in her drive to revitalize her empire. She alone will leave this battle with what she wants.

JUNE:
JUNE: who?

The Witch, or more accurately, the Thief of Life, the Empress. She was once one of our scions, but shunned our noble call. One of our own, our calling-card, tried to limit her terror, but even we have our limits.

JUNE: and what?
JUNE: you want me to get revenge on her because you were shitty teachers? because you all failed to do anything fucking useful?

No.

This is not about us.

She is the one that killed the Seer. Your friend, the Sylph, was vaporized by a beam from her own mouth. She cares not for life, and because of it, this session, and this timeline, are past the point of apocalypse.

What we want is simple. We want to give you the power to make her pay.

JUNE:
JUNE: she killed rose.
JUNE: she killed kanaya.
JUNE: where is she?

Currently onboard a starship. She is planning on heading out of the Incipisphere soon and taking to the stars in search of greener pastures. If you do not act fast, the Thief will steal away. And any chance at justice will be lost. The Seer’s pact will pass to you. We will give you powers beyond power, in exchange for—

JUNE: i’m in.
JUNE: i don’t care what it costs.

Very well.

The pact is sealed.

Seize the power, Heir. Embrace the call.

You feel your throat tighten up, and your heart starts to pound. The Empress, the Batterwitch, killed the people you love most. You feel a heady rush of blood to your head, and a firey vortex of hatred starts to spin in your mind. She took everything from you, and she just gets to fuck off and start again? Images flash, unbidden, one after the other: Karkat, screaming as he burns in lava, pierced twice through the chest; Jade, helplessly asleep, crushed by a falling building. Jane and Jake, speared together, lying in their own blood. Kanaya, in a blind fury, slashing a clown in half before she’s obliterated by a beam of blue-red energy. Rose, a screaming comet, not able to dodge the Empress’s spear as it stabs her right through the lung. You see thousands of years of murder, a Martyr shot through the heart, a Mother sold to servitude, a Pilot burned to a husk. A swirling vortex of red and black thunders in your mind, and black lightning starts to fly from your fingertips. You feel the pure, violent hatred of injustice and the cold, hollow ache of grief mix together in your mind. You feel a black mark constrict your throat, as you turn your head to the sky and scream, dark thunderheads rolling overhead. Your skin crackles with static, and the hue of your godhood stains black, Rose’s scarf around your neck the only dot of blue left, the only eye in your hurricane sky. The wind picks up around you as you start to lift off the ground. You look at Roxy, who is staring at you in disbelief as your hair whips around you at the force of the gale. Rain begins to drizzle, then pour from the clouds above.

ROXY: june
ROXY: june what the fuck are you doing
ROXY: JUNE STOP!!!!!

But you don’t hear her over the howling wind. Your eyes spark with lightning, and you teleport off. You have a few things to do before the main event. There is justice to be meted out, June Egbert, and no persejudicator would be complete without a proper gavel. You take a hammer gifted to you by the Thief, and a pair of needles you gave to the Seer, and fuse them to make FLUTHULU’S FLAIL, a wicked double-sided hammer, coated in black thorns and leaking necrotic ichor. Then, you take off to find revenge, ignoring the small streak of orange flying in the opposite direction, holding a teal-bloodstained figure and a cyan ghost in their arms.
Nothing matters anymore.

You float in the middle of the session, scrambled and battle-torn, and you feel empty. Exhausted, you float down to the surface of the meteor, landing next to the Condesce’s body. Your feel every ache, every punch and kick to your ribs, and you just lie down. You don’t know if you’re hurt bad enough to die. You’re not in great shape, that’s for sure. You don’t think you’re bleeding out, so small victories. Woo. The pain is almost enough to distract you from the fact that all your friends are dead. And sure, maybe you can change all of this, retcon it so that none of this ever happened. But what if it doesn’t? What if you being a girl doomed the timeline, and these are the last few moments before you’re erased and have to start over? You don’t want to have to watch them die again. Not Rose. Not Kanaya. Not anyone. You should probably just lay down here and wait to di—

ROXY: june
ROXY: june oh holy shit its u
ROXY: oh fuck what
ROXY: is that the fuckin batterwitch?
ROXY: june did you just go off and kill the batterwitch and just lay your ass here lookin like yamcha in the crater?
ROXY: fuck this girl we gotta get u some help

Roxy picks your slumped body up from where it lays on the ground, cursing and teetering as she flies. Just before she takes off, you notice something. A gold glint on the ground, tumbled from the batterwitch’s palm. You make a weak grab and feel the metal in your hand. It’s warm. Your vision goes fuzzy, a comforting silence fills your head, and you black out.

ROSE: Ughhhhhhh.
ROSE: Please. Just stop.
KANAYA: Oh What Is Wrong Rose
JUNE: yeah rose, why do you wanna stop?

It's another lucky day for you, one of the precious few you get to share with Rose and Kanaya in the dreambubbles, this time in Kanaya’s bright and colorful hive, decorated with curtains and swathes of fabric hanging from the ceiling and piles of jewel-tone cushions covering the ground. You once again missed meeting with your other friends, but you don’t mind it, because you get to a little more time with Rose and Kanaya! Right now, on Rose’s suggestion, you are going around sharing some potentially embarrassing things from your childhoods. Rose, most likely trying to discover new things to tease both you and Kanaya about, is now severely regretting her decision.

ROSE: I am severely regretting my decision to initiate this game.
KANAYA: But Rose It Was Just Getting To The Good Part
JUNE: yeah! i’m totally invested on how many times luxquill and virtestrix are going to try to kill then hatefuck each other!

Rose snatches the book from Kanaya’s hand.

ROSE: It’s just frankly embarrassing how my younger self wouldn’t know brevity if it fell on her skull and killed her.
ROSE: Even for softcore wizard porn this is turgid.
JUNE: well if you’re just going to take it and void the deal, then me and kanaya will have to make up the rest of it!
KANAYA: Okay
KANAYA: I Will Be Virtestrix And You Will Be Luxquill
JUNE: hehe, okay! luxquill leans over and whispers into virtestrix’s ear, “is that a wand in your robe-pouch or are thou simply excited to be in mine presence?”
KANAYA: Virtestrix Responds, “I Am Never Happy To Be In Your Presence You Tempestuous Whore. I Wish You Would Simply Vanish Into The Wind With Your Lascivious Bedmate”
JUNE: “oh? and why is that, so that i can slip past your robes and—”
ROSE: Okay that is quite enough of that! I’m calling in my veto!
JUNE: aww!
KANAYA: Aw

You and Kanaya crack up a little at Rose’s red face, as she sighs and stows the book away once again in her sylladex. She inclines her head up to look at you hovering upside-down near the ceiling.

ROSE: You know June, it would be a bit easier to talk to you if you weren’t suspended so high.
JUNE: i like being up here! are you telling my that you don’t just fly around the meteor doing flips all the time?
ROSE: I tend to avoid it.
JUNE: boo! rose we are basically superheroes, live a little!
KANAYA: Yes Please For My Sake Rose
KANAYA: For Those Unfortunate Enough To Have Missed The Flight Buggy It Is Necessary To Use It As Much As Possible
KANAYA: Just Really Flaunt It In Our Faces
JUNE: oh jeez, sorry kanaya! has rose not taken you flying?
KANAYA: Not Often No
ROSE: She hasn’t really asked!
JUNE: well, i can fix that if you want!
KANAYA: Wait June

You hover down to Kanaya, who is wearing a simple and light green dress, and wrap your arms around her waist. She goes stiff in your arms, freezing as you start to lift up off the ground. Your face is close to her, and wow her hair smells really nice, warm and vaguely spicy, like an alien form of cinnamon. As you get closer to the high ceiling of her hive, she seems to wake up again, though you can almost feel her face heat up.

KANAYA: Um
KANAYA: Okay This Is Actually Kind Of Cool And Nice
ROSE: Oh, I expect it is.
KANAYA: Rose
JUNE: hehe, glad to help!
KANAYA: But Perhaps Next Time A Little Warning Would Be Appreciated
JUNE: oh, sorry kanaya!
JUNE: okay, how do you feel about doing the upside-down thing?
KANAYA: Well Considering I Am Wearing A Dress Right Now I Would Prefer Not To
JUNE: oh shoot i didn’t even realize!

As much as you love all the pretty, fancy outfits and skirts that you’ve worn lately, it’s nice to settle back to the slightly feminized classics! So today, it’s a white ghost tee and shorts, albeit a little shorter and different cut, along with a couple of yellow barrettes. It also means that you aren’t flashing everyone when you decide to pull a few aerial stunts.

JUNE: i can put you down if you want!
KANAYA: Yes Please

You hover over one of the many pillow piles, and begin to let your arms loose to let her down, when she twists in your grasp and latches onto you, eyes wide. Her ankles hook into yours, desperate for any grip she can get on you.

KANAYA: June If You Drop Me I Swear I Will Bite You
KANAYA: I Call Upon Our Pranksters Moratorium And Request That You Set Me Down Gently
JUNE: hehe, okay! :B

You slowly float over to the pile where Rose is sitting, and you gently set Kanaya down. When you put her down for the final time, she squeezes you tight before letting go, probably just out of instinct to make sure she doesn’t fall. Once she’s free of your grasp— yeah her face is definitely flushing from embarrassment, your Prankster’s Gambit ticks up a notch— she collapses on the pile next to Rose, who gently tucks a strand of hair behind her pointed ear.

ROSE: Well, how was your flight, dear?
KANAYA: Terrible
KANAYA: They Didnt Even Serve Any Of Those Little Sweet Grub Biscuits
JUNE: you have to upgrade to the premium package for that!
JUNE: it comes with five minutes of free wifi.
KANAYA: Damn These Prices And Values
KANAYA: But I Would Not Mind Doing It Again Given A Little More Warning
KANAYA: Overall June Egbert Air 5/10 Would Maybe Fly Again
JUNE: i’ll give you a hot towel on the next flight if you bump that up to a 7.
KANAYA: 4/10 The Pilot Tried To Bribe Me For A Better Review
JUNE: damn it!
ROSE: Corruption is rampant in the industry. With only four or five available fliers, prices are bound to skyrocket.
ROSE: But, of course, with Air Lalonde, pretty rainbow drinker girls get to fly free. I’ll make sure to take you flying more often.
KANAYA: And Will There Be Drinks Served On Flight
ROSE: Only if the flier takes caution that too much refreshment will lead to the plane crashing.
KANAYA: Are You Implying These Drinks To Be Soporific Or Sanguine
ROSE: Sanguine, I don’t drink and fly.
KANAYA: Well Thank Goodness
KANAYA: This Offer Is Seeming More Appealing By The Minute
JUNE: so in this analogy, the plane is also powered by like, tomato juice? which is also blood?
JUNE: i don’t think that’s a very sustainable fuel source! you might crash either way.
KANAYA: Well Maybe It Will Be Worth The Crash
ROSE: Hundreds are dead because my matesprit got a little thirsty on the flight.
KANAYA: Dont Worry
KANAYA: Their Deaths Will Not Be
KANAYA:
JUNE: oooh here it comes!
KANAYA:
ROSE: Well don’t just leave us hanging, love.
KANAYA:
KANAYA: In Vein
ROSE: Thank you dear, for the delay of anticipation. I think that was desperately needed.
ROSE: Now, to actually continue, I think one member of our party is up to share an embarrassing secret of hers.
JUNE: oh, is it kanaya? i bet it’s kanaya.
KANAYA: No I Just Shared The Particularly Embarrassing Fact That For Many Years I Was Deeply Flushed For Vriska Serket
JUNE: i don’t think that’s that embarrassing!
JUNE: i think i even had a crush on her for like a little!
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: She Did Have A Very Strong Personality
ROSE: And on that note, I think I have to ask.
ROSE: June, do you or did you have any significant crushes on anyone?

Ohhhhhh no. Shit. They asked the one thing you were kind of hoping they wouldn’t ask. Because the answer was pretty obvious, that it’s the two very pretty girls in the same room as you, currently staring at your fidgeting self with curiosity. Rose has an eyebrow raised, and Kanya is simply leaning forward with her hands in her lap. Fuck, does Rose know already? Does Kanaya know? Have you been that unsubtle about it?

ROSE: Hm, well we might as well have some fun guessing.
KANAYA: She Already Said She Had A Crush On Vriska
KANAYA: What About Terezi?
JUNE: what, no, she’s so weird! also she killed me so i don’t really have a crush on her.
KANAYA: At Least Not A Flushed One It Seems
JUNE: honestly i do not think i even understand the quadrants well enough to know when i like, pity or hate someone in that way, so let’s stick with flushed!
ROSE: So you do have a flushed crush, interesting.
JUNE: i!
JUNE: never explicitly said that!
ROSE: Omission is as good as confirmation sometimes, June.
ROSE: Though I sincerely hope that the answer isn’t my brother.
JUNE: rose i have done some more thinking, pretty sure i’m one hundred percent a lesbian!
ROSE: Well, welcome to the club. Officially, this time.
ROSE: But that doesn’t necessarily exclude his sprite version, who you’ve spent much more time in person with, no?
JUNE: uhhh, no ds is just a good friend!
JUNE: i think they did have a crush on me at some point but i don’t think they do now?
JUNE: plus dating my sister’s ex seems like a great way to get her to punt me into the stratosphere.
JUNE: also karkat hit on me that one time but that was like two years ago.
ROSE:
KANAYA:
ROSE: Kanaya are you hearing this?
KANAYA: If By This You Mean More Gossip With Which To Harass Our Mutual Friends
KANAYA: Yes I Am Hearing It Loud And Clear
JUNE: hehe, yeah i think he had like, a pitch crush on me?
JUNE: he kept saying how he wanted to destroy me and that i was a puny human, something about me being born from his hate.
JUNE: i think he called himself my god at one point?
KANAYA: Oh My God This Is
KANAYA: Wow
KANAYA: The Ammunition Pile Does Not Keep From Getting Bigger
KANAYA: Thank You For The Information June
JUNE: haha, he’s probably going to kill me when we meet up, but you have my full blessing to utilize this information to its fullest potential!
KANAYA: Thank You For Your Sacrifice June
ROSE: And thank you for the perfect distraction. Revealing other people’s crushes to get out of telling your own? A clever tactic, but it won’t work forever.

Shit. Fuck fuck fuck now there’s basically no options left besides these two. They’re gonna figure it out sooner or later, and then... well you don’t know what then!

JUNE: um.
JUNE: so, the answer to who i have a crush on.
JUNE: that person.
JUNE: iiiiiiiiisssssssssss.
ROSE:
KANAYA:
JUNE: ideclareaveto!!!
ROSE: What?!
KANAYA: Come On June Not After All That Anticipation
JUNE: i have a veto, and i’m using it! that means all discussion is dropped immediately!
ROSE: You can’t just leave us hanging like that! I mean the only options left—
KANAYA: Rose You Know The Rules
ROSE: *sigh*
ROSE: Fine. You win this time, June.
ROSE: But I will find out. I always do.
JUNE: hehe, i’d like...
JUNE: woah!
JUNE: jeez i just got the most intense feeling of déjà vu!
ROSE: What are you talking about, June? Are you remembering our first conversation in the dream bubbles?
KANAYA: No I Felt It Too
KANAYA: This Is Weird
JUNE: this is wrong...
JUNE: this is not how this happened.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Rose, or the memory of her, gives a sad smile, and vanishes, the bright light outside the windows replaced by the dim glow of broken space, your outfit bleeding from simple to godhood, and Kanaya’s eyes going from a beautiful yellow-orange to pure, blank white.

KANAYA: Ah
KANAYA: I Remember Now
JUNE: yeah. so do i.

She looks at you and walks forward, looking into your eyes with a mixture of shock and relief.

KANAYA: Ah
KANAYA: Thank Goodness Youre Okay
JUNE: um, okay is kind of relative. but i’m pretty sure i’m alive, if that’s what you meant.
KANAYA: It Is
KANAYA: Im Glad You Made It Out Okay
KANAYA: And Since Rose Is Not Here Maybe She Made It Out
JUNE: kanaya.

You look at her, eyes filling up with tears, as you grab her in a tight hug, sobbing into her shirt. Slowly her arms tighten around you, as she realizes, and she starts crying into your hair.

JUNE: she’s gone too.
JUNE: i tried everything kanaya, i’m sorry.
JUNE: i tried to save her but she was...
JUNE: i couldn’t. i couldn’t save anyone.
JUNE: and then i...

You two just stand there for a moment before she steps away. She looks you over, and her eyes catch on your throat. She takes a nailed finger and brushes it along your neck, catching your breath as you feel something throb.

KANAYA: June What Is This
JUNE: what is what?

She frowns, then pulls out a pocket mirror and holds it to your face. You look rough, face shiny from dried and fresh tears, dark bags under your eyes and your hair windswept and disheveled. On your throat are two parallel, waving black lines, protruding like varicose veins, pulsing slightly. You vaguely recognize them as your own Aspect symbol. You look at Kanaya, who coves her mouth with her hand.

KANAYA: June
KANAYA: You Made A Deal With The Horrorterrors?
JUNE: ...yeah.
JUNE: those lines under rose’s eye... those weren’t makeup, were they?
KANAYA: No
KANAYA: She Did Not Like To Talk About It Much But
KANAYA: When She Made Her Pact With The Horrorterrors
KANAYA: They Left Their Mark On Her As A Reminder
KANAYA: Why Would You Make A Deal With Them
JUNE: ...i wanted to make her pay.
JUNE: the batterwitch. she killed you and rose, if i had let her escape she would have killed thousands of others.
JUNE: but i don’t know if i cared about stopping her.
JUNE: i just wanted to hurt her.

You look at your hands, scuffed and calloused from hours of training.

JUNE: i didn’t think i could be that type of person. but i guess i am.
JUNE: and i won! i took on the power they gave me, and i won.
JUNE: but it is not going to bring anyone back.
KANAYA: I Mean
KANAYA: I Think That Thats Okay
JUNE: what?
KANAYA: I Mean
KANAYA: Dont Get Me Wrong I Am Pretty Upset At All Of This
KANAYA: But
KANAYA: Being A Ghost Kind Of Dulls The Edges
JUNE: i guess? it kind of freaks me out though!
KANAYA: Yeah
KANAYA: Well As Incredibly Upset As I Am About Me And My Love Dying
KANAYA: At Least We Can Be Together
JUNE:
JUNE: *sniff*
JUNE: yeah, i guess so.

Kanaya flinches, putting her face in her hand. She puts the other on your shoulder.

KANAYA: Oh June
KANAYA: I Am Sorry That Was A Very Shitty Thing To Say
JUNE: um, yeah. kind of.
JUNE: like, i’m glad you two get to be together as ghosts but...
JUNE: i’m still alive.
JUNE: and i don’t want to leave you two behind.
KANAYA: I Know June
KANAYA: But Please Dont Come To Us Prematurely
KANAYA: Hell I Dont Even Know What Happens Now
JUNE: neither do i. i might be able to do something but...
JUNE: i should probably explain what i was doing while everything was going on.

You tell her everything, from the time you found Retcon up until you fainted after your battle with the Condesce, leaving out only a few details.

KANAYA: Wow
KANAYA: June I Am Sorry You Seem To Have Been Through Kind Of A Lot
JUNE: i mean, not much more than everyone else!
KANAYA: June It Was A Lot More Than Everyone Else
JUNE: kanaya, you died!
KANAYA: A Lot More At Least In Volume If Not In Impact
JUNE: oh, and...

Shoot. You didn’t really want to tell her this, but she has a right to know about the last few moments you spent with Rose.

JUNE: so. when i was with rose, before she died.
JUNE: this might be kind of upsetting so i am really sorry in advance.
KANAYA: This Day Has Already Been All Kinds Of Upsetting I Can Handle A Little More
JUNE: okay, just warning you.
JUNE: so, rose was talking about some of the things she regretted, and she said...
JUNE: she said that she loved you, kanaya.

Kanaya hesitates, then nods a little, sighing deeply.

KANAYA: I Know She Did
KANAYA: I Love Her Too
KANAYA: Despite The Problems That We Had In Our Relationship I Really, Truly Loved Her
KANAYA: I Just Wish I Could Have Said It
JUNE: i mean, if she shows up... you should tell her!
KANAYA: I Will
KANAYA: Well That Was Quite An Emotional Revelation But Not That Upsetting
JUNE: that wasn’t the part that i was talking about really.
KANAYA: Ah
KANAYA: Well
JUNE: so.
JUNE: um.
JUNE: a little after that she said...
JUNE: fuck, sorry.
JUNE: she said that she loved me too.
JUNE: and, you know. i do. i love her. and i love you too.
KANAYA: So
KANAYA: The Answer To The Question Was Actually
KANAYA: Us
JUNE: yeah.
JUNE: i had a really big crush on the both of you!
JUNE: honestly.
JUNE: i uh.
JUNE: i still do!
KANAYA:
JUNE: and then um.
JUNE: she kissed me.
KANAYA:
KANAYA: I See
JUNE: i’m really sorry, i should have stopped her and this is probably just making you even more upset.

She takes a minute, hand over her chin, glancing back to you. Her expression is near unreadable, gently furrowed brows set above her piercing blank eyes. Eventually, she nods, and lets out another sigh.

KANAYA: Yes
KANAYA: I Think I Am Pretty Upset That She Kissed You
JUNE: fuck! i knew it, i am so so sorry kanaya!
KANAYA: Yes I Am Pretty Mad About It
KANAYA: And I Think There Is Only One Thing That Could Make Me Feel Better About It
JUNE: i’ll do anything kanaya, i am so sor—

She grabs you by the face and kisses you hard, passionately. Her fangs press against your lips, biting into the skin, and you wonder if you’re ever going to have a kiss that doesn’t taste like blood. Not that you, at the moment, are complaining, as she licks up the blood from your lip, sealing the wound as quickly as she made it, then separating from you, looking a little out of sorts with a small smile on her face.

KANAYA: There
KANAYA: I Feel Better Now
JUNE: i... but, what?
KANAYA: I Felt Upset That She Kissed You And I Had Not
KANAYA: So I Rectified That
KANAYA: By The Way
KANAYA: Just In Case It Was Not Clear
KANAYA: Your Crush On Me Is Reciprocated
JUNE: i um. think i got it yeah!

She laughs a little and leans against you, settling down with you on one of the cushion piles, her arm around you. You are feeling overwhelmed and flustered but feeling her warmth against you somehow calms you down a little bit. She takes your hand in hers, gently rubbing her thumb in circles over its back.

JUNE: so...
JUNE: um.
JUNE: i know this is kind of an awkward question but, like.
JUNE: how long have you liked me?
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: I Think It Started When We Were Dressing You Up
KANAYA: Before I Had Only Registered You As A Kind Of Annoying Human
JUNE: hey!
KANAYA: Sorry But You Kind Of Were
KANAYA: And I Say That With All The Affection In My Blood Pusher
KANAYA: But Then Rose Told Me About You And
KANAYA: Well

She blushes a little, jade green coloring her cheeks.

KANAYA: You Did Look Very Cute In Our Handiwork
KANAYA: And Our Mutual Crush Only Intensified After Spending More Time With You
KANAYA: I Discovered That You Were A Very Charming And Funny Girl That I Liked Spending Time With
KANAYA: And Both Of Us Did Talk A Bit About Possibly Asking You Out At Some Point
KANAYA: But We Were Not Really Sure How To Handle Things Since We Were Both Incredibly Flushed For You And Each Other
KANAYA: And As Hard As We Tried Neither Of Us Could Really Remain Pitched With You
JUNE: not even after the soup incident?
KANAYA: Not Even After That
KANAYA: You Are Just Too Damn Likable
KANAYA: And I Had No Desire To Try And Pursue You In The Pale Quadrant
KANAYA: I Have Made That Mistake Before
KANAYA: But
KANAYA: Since She Kissed You
KANAYA: I Think That We Can Both Hold It In Our Hearts To Be Flushed For You
KANAYA: Erm
KANAYA: If That Is Okay With You
KANAYA: I Am Just Now Realizing That You May Not Have Went Through The Same Sort Of Revelation
JUNE: well, like, i kind of have? like i definitely never wanted to come between you two.
KANAYA: Phrasing
JUNE: hehe.
JUNE: but like if it were all three of us, i think i would be okay with that!
JUNE: actually scratch that i would really like that! a lot!
KANAYA: Okay Phew

She pulls you tighter and kisses you again, softly, and you wrap your arms around her. You stay there for a few minutes, just kissing and being in each other’s company, watching the sky fracture through the open window.

JUNE: i feel a little selfish for being here.
JUNE: like, i should be trying to fix this or something.
JUNE: but i don’t know if i can! the world is kind of fucked at the moment!
JUNE: it just all feels like too much for me. i mean i’m just a pretty normal girl that stuck her hand in a magic house and now i have the power to change the world!
JUNE: like, why me?
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: I Agree With You On The Pretty Part
KANAYA: But I Have At Some Point Felt A Similar Way
KANAYA: I Was Trained From Birth To Be The One Who Would Eventually Revitalize The Troll Race
KANAYA: I Held The Matriorb In My Own Hands And Knew I Would Be The One Responsible For Bringing Life To Countless People
KANAYA: But After It Was Destroyed
KANAYA: And I Am Really Not Proud Of This But
KANAYA: There Were Moments Where I Felt Some Relief
KANAYA: I Felt Terrible About It But
KANAYA: That Responsibility Was Such A Burden Sometimes
KANAYA: And It Felt Like Everything I Did Was Out Of Obligation
KANAYA: Even When I Wanted To Do Something
KANAYA: Like I Was Just A Vector To Help Other People Achieve Their Goals